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Sonic Riders | Real-Time Fandub Games

March 31, 2020 | Articles, Blog | 100 Comments

Sonic Riders | Real-Time Fandub Games


[Tails] Sonic!
[Sonic] Huh? [Sonic] Oh, hey. What’s up? [Tails] Well, I just came to turn in my application! [Sonic] Aha, you actually did this? [Tails] Of course! Can we be friends now? [Sonic] Oh, uh, yeah. Everything looks in order. [Sonic] Sure, I don’t see why not. [Jet] (hawk noise) [Storm] I’m really disappointed, we had to- [Storm] WAH! I’M SO ANGRY! OH WHOA- (OwO?) HEY, WE’RE SLAM- HEY, SOMETHING HAPPENED! [Wave] What is happening in here? [Storm] Something happened and I’m about to tell Jet about it! [Wave] Is that my Blue? [Storm] Yes! Well, now it’s mine, ’cause you set it down. [Jet] It was mine first, I was holding it in the first scene! [Jet] That- that part was relevant. [Wave] Just because you hold it doesn’t make it yours! [Storm] Well, look, I’m really scared and- I don’t know why, [Storm] so we’re gonna have to get to the bottom of this, I think. [Storm] Don’t- fucking- I’m not distracted that easily, young kid! [Storm] I swear to God, don’t ever touch my cube once more, I will put you in the dungeon. [Wave] That’s debatable! [Wave] Hey, so what did you think of Tomorrowland? [Storm] I have no thoughts on Tomorrowland. [Jet] (angry hawk noises) [Announcer] You will be arriving in 10 minutes.
[Jet] (angry hawk noises) [Jet] FUCK! [Storm] Whoa! [Jet] You can’t NOT have thoughts on Tomorrowland! [Storm] Well, I just didn’t think it was that remarkable. What can I say? [Wave] No, I understand, but I was- ah! [Storm] No, she doesn’t understand! [Storm] My head- my hands are so big I can crush her like a sparrow’s egg! [Wave] Get your hands off my face!
[Storm] My head- my hands are so big I can crush her like a sparrow’s egg! [Storm] I will punch you- with my fists! [Eggman] So what’s going on in here? Uh-uh, [Eggman] is this the avian bird convention? [Jet] How the fuck did you get up here?! We’re like, 8 miles off the ground! [Eggman] Uh, I’ve- I’ve, y’know, I just- [Chase] HE’S SO BIG! [Eggman] I- I- I flew! I’m very tall, I am at least 7-foot-1, [Eggman] and I will step on each one of you like eggs. [Jet] Okay, well, I’d like to fuckin’ see you try. [Eggman] Well, a-huh, don’t test me. Now listen to me. [Eggman] You have something in your hands, [Eggman] and I want it. I want part of it [Eggman] …very much. [Storm] Ah! Your eyes scared me. [Eggman] (evil laughter) [Eggman] This is not a joke. I’m not joking with you anymore. [Eggman] I want- whatever part of the- whatever part that you have there, in your hands, that little cube? [Eggman] That is something that leads to Tomorrowland, [Eggman] and yesterday, and the day afterwards. [Eggman] (whispering) Now I need you to hand it to me. [Jet] It’s my GameCube, [Jet] and it will stay in Tomorrowland for as long as I need. [Eggman] I’ll take it. [Jet] Keep your goddamn hands off of it. [Jet] I mean, uh- name a price though. We’ll- We’ll talk. [Eggman] What? I’m not gonna name a price. I’m gonna overwrite your save file. [Eggman] It’s now full of Sonic. [Eggman] Your save files have all been taken up by Sonic. [Digital Sonic] Hey, guys!
[Eggman] Your save files have all been taken up by Sonic. [Eggman] Super Mario Sunshine, look at his eyes, look at his pupils. Beautiful. [Eggman] He runs, brand new Nikes. [Jet] (hawk noise)
[Eggman] He runs, brand new Nikes. [Jet] He is rather beautiful! [Jet] But y’know what’s more beautiful? My skateboard! [Jet] Wow. [Jet] (maniacal cackling) (everyone laughing) [Sonic] ♬ Livin’ in the city… ah, ah, ah… ♬ [Sonic] Whoa! [Sonic] Look at that! [Tails] We’re Jammin’ to some cool tunes! [Tails] Anybody else wanna listen to some Queen? (sound of glass smashing)
[Sonic] Whoa! [Jet] I love stealin’ shit! Great day! [Knuckles] Hey, I love stealing shit, too! [♬ “Catch Me If You Can” by Runblebee ♬] [Jet] Whee!
[♬ “Catch Me If You Can” by Runblebee ♬] [Storm] Aaahh! I don’t know how to steer this!
[Wave] Wooooo! [Jet] Nyoom, nyoom! [Cops] Please pull over. [Jet] Fuck the Cops!
[Cops] Please pull over. [Storm] Stop making “VROOM” sounds, we have to- [Jet] I’m having fun!
[Storm] Stop making “VROOM” sounds, we have to- [Sonic] Everyone stop right there! [Storm] Run him over! [Sonic] Huh? [Knuckles] Punch! Ahaha, ah! Will you be my friend? [Storm] (pained albatross noises) [Storm] Catch me! Catch me! I’m still falling! Catch me! [Tails] Huh?
[Storm] Catch me! Catch me! I’m still falling! Catch me! [Storm] Catch me! Catch me! I’m still falling! Catch me! [Wave] Ah!
[Storm] Thank you! [Knuckles] What?! [Cops] Please pull over. [Cops] You’re not driving on the right side of the road, idiots. [Sonic] Okay, I’ll show you the right side of the road! [Cops] Sir, you’re driving- that’s- that’s very stolen, you’re also not driving on the right side of the road, what the fuck?! [Sonic] Serpentine, Serpentine, left and right!
[Cops] Sir, you’re driving- that’s- that’s very stolen, you’re also not driving on the right side of the road, what the fuck?! [Cops] Sir, you’re driving- that’s- that’s very stolen, you’re also not driving on the right side of the road, what the fuck?! [Sonic] I’m comin’ for ya, bitch! I’m comin’ for ya! [Jet] (hawk noise)
[Cops] Are we doing this shit again, Sonic? [Jet] Hi-yah!
[Sonic] Hey! [Sonic] Who are you supposed to be, anyway? [Jet] (hawk noise) [Sonic] Hey! [Jet] That was an illegal left, by the way! [Penny] (laughter) [Ryan] (laughing) Shut the fuck up!
[Penny] (laughter) [Jet] (echoing) Revali’s Gale is now ready! [Sonic] Huh? WHAT?! [Sonic] Whooooaa! [Sonic] Oof! [Jet] Bye, bitch! [Wave] Bye, bitch!
[Storm] Yeah, bye, bitch! [Knuckles] Whoa! [Knuckles] That wasn’t really that fast. [Sonic] Um… I’m dead! (everyone laughing) [♬ “Sonic Speed Riders” by Runblebee ♬] ♬ I’m gonna hit you with Sonic speed ♬ ♬ Ridin’ on the waves of Super Sonic ♬ ♬ I’m gonna (6x) ♬ ♬ I’m gonna show you ♬ ♬ I’m gonna (6x) ♬ ♬ I’m gonna show you ♬ ♬ I’m gonna show you what true speed is ♬ ♬ Ridin’ on the waves of the Super Sonic ♬ ♬ I’m gonna (6x) ♬ ♬ I’m gonna show you ♬ ♬ I’m gonna (5x) ♬ ♬ Super Sonic, Super Sonic ♬ ♬ Super Sonic Speed! ♬ [Eggman] Good morning, Eggheads AND Crackheads, welcome to the new vlog! [Sonic] Hoh!
[Knuckles] I’m a crackhead! [Eggman] Well, guess what, I have a brand new product for you. It’s called the GameCube 2. [Eggman] I’m going to be releasing it soon, [Eggman] I know that you’re all jealous, especially you… [Eggman] …Shigairo Mayamo! [Knuckles] I’m Shigairo Mayamo! [Eggman] My knuckles are the size of GOD. [Eggman] Listen up! There’s gonna be something going on that I’m gonna be doing for this GameCube 2. [Eggman] A race. A special race. There’ll be something happening! [Penny] (laughter) [Eggman] GOD. [Eggman] You see this? [Eggman] This is the diamond that I am going to give [Eggman] to my brand new husband, and/or wife. [Eggman] It’ll be theirs for the rest of time, with the GameCube 2. [Eggman] So if you want- (cast laughter) [Sonic] Whoa, he’s bisexual, I didn’t know that! [Eggman] By the way, I’m bisexual! I forgot, I- forgot to announce it! How do you turn this shit off- wait- [Sonic] Hmmm! [Storm] It’s me! Hey, guys! [Wave] It’s me! [Jet] Bisexual rights! [Sonic] Whoa! Who’s that? [Sonic] He looks pretty cool! [Sonic] Wait, I saw him earlier. Oh, I remember now! (laughter) [Penny] God, that was garbage…
(laughter) (laughter) [Knuckles] Man, I can’t believe he made a commercial bespoke to me, Shigairo Maya- [Amy] Hey, everybody! Hey, Shigairo! Hey, Sonic! Hey, Tails! [Sonic] Ugh…
[Amy] Hey everyone! Wow! [Amy] Hey everyone! Wow! [Sonic] How’s it goin’? [Amy] No. I talk first. [Amy] Listen. [Amy] You guys are trying to do some shiny shit. [Amy] I want a diamond. You have to win, [Amy] the diamond, for ME! (Amy winks) [Sonic] Agh! [Tails] You gotta do it, Sonic. [Sonic] Whoa. What’s up, buddy? You look upset. [Tails] Don’t worry about it. It’s just- [Tails] I missed my Therapy appointment today, and I’m a little upset about it. [Amy] How relatable!
[Sonic] Aw, Tails, I’m sorry. [Chase and Ryan] (laughing) [Tails] It’s fine. It’s just- Um… [Tails] So, there was this thing that I saw and it was like a… [Tails] A… squid, I think? Or a… bird? [Tails] A logo, it was a logo. [Tails] I don’t- It was at the top of the waterfall? [Narrator Knuckles] Long ago, before man, there were… squid boys. [Narrator Knuckles] Squid boys worship angel. [Narrator Knuckles] Angel turn into hog man. [Narrator Knuckles] Hog man turn into bunny man. [Narrator Knuckles] Bunny man turn into squid. [Red] All of their birds in One Piece. [Chase] Only Link can defeat Ganon. [Tails] That’s the squid man! That’s him, I saw it- once in history class! [Knuckles] I was in history! [Knuckles] But only once. [Tails] Only once. And that’s all you’ll ever get. [Knuckles] Oh my God. [Knuckles] NO! [Knuckles] I MUST BE IN HISTORY AGAIN! [Knuckles] I could’ve- refuse to have only lived in
nineteen-aught-seven! [Knuckles] Who the fuck are you?! [Wave] Oh! Ya know, I just wanted to close my eyes and see where I ended up and… [Wave] Ooh, what’s this? [Wave] This a Game Boy? [Tails] It’s a- It’s a skateboard. [Wave] It doesn’t have any wheels, idiot! [Tails] Well then, it’s a hoverboard. [Tails] I invented it myself. [Wave] (Majestic Swallow Cry) [Tails] Um… okay.
[Wave] (Another Majestic Swallow Cry) [Wave] Sorry, I had to scream, uh… it’s just a thing, don’t worry about it. [Amy] What the fuck? [Sonic] Uhh… [Knuckles] No. [Wave] Eh… Sorry, I remembered a joke. [Tails] Thanks, I guess. [Wave] Later, nerds! [Tails] Bye. [Amy] What the fuck is happening? Who is that bitch? [Sonic] I feel like I’m on, like, another plane of existence right now. [Tails] I really wish I hadn’t missed therapy… [High-Pitched Disembodied Voice] Hi! You all need to- get your fuck to the track! [Sonic] Okay, well…
[Tails] Alright, let’s go. [Knuckles] (drowning) [E-10000G] Are you okay? [Knuckles] Oh, sorry! Look- [Knuckles] (drowning) [E-10000G] Dude, are you okay? [Knuckles] Oh! I’m-
[E-10000G] Dude, are you okay? [Knuckles] (drowning) [Storm] Oh my god! Hey! [Storm] Watch where-
[E-10000R] Why are you making noises like that? [E-10000R] Why are you making noises like that? [Storm] Watch where you’re going, shithead!
[Knuckles] (drowning) [Knuckles] (drowning) [Storm] I’ll kill you! I swear to God, don’t ever talk that shit again to me! [Knuckles] (frustratedly drowning) [Storm] Uh- I-
[Knuckles] (frustratedly drowning) [Storm] I don’t care that you’re drowning in your own lungs! [Storm] You knocked into me and I want you to apologize right now! [Knuckles] (drowning) [E-10000R] Hey uh, what the fu-
[Knuckles] (drowning) [E-10000R] OH GOD!
[Knuckles] (drowning) [E-10000R] That was just really painful. [Storm] HAHAHAHAHA! [Storm] I love seeing people suffer when they wrong me, even if it’s minor! [Storm] Now I’m going to punch you! HAAH- [Knuckles] (still drowning) Not if I punch you first! [Storm] HRAAGH! [E-10000R] GOD [E-10000R] DAMMIT [E-10000R] WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?! [Storm] Oh, God, I’m so sorry, sir. [Storm] I’ve just been so on edge since we had to kick Rouge out of the polycule, ’cause she could only name two of the Beatles! [Knuckles] I can finally breathe! What the hell is wr- [Knuckles] (angrily drowning) (cast laughing)
[Knuckles] (angrily drowning) [Knuckles] STOP FILLING THE AIR WITH WATE- [Knuckles] (drowning) [Storm] 
ゴ ゴ IT’S MY ENEMY STAND! ゴ ゴ [Penny] (laughter) [Jet] Aaah… GameCube… [Storm] Hey! Hey! I’m scared! [Jet] (hawk noise)
[Storm] And this time I know why I’m scared! [Storm] Slam! Slam! Slam! [Storm] I saw somebody and they had a Stand! [Jet] Wha- a Stand….? [Wave] Hey, Jet, your copy of Grown Ups 2 is overdue. You should return it. [Storm] Oh shit, hang on! We can talk about this later. I have to return that to Redbox. [Storm] Y-You know, they charge a dollar every day you don’t return it, which is really predatory. [Storm] It’s like loans with a set- uh, interest rate. [Wave] I mean…
[Storm] It’s like loans with a set- uh, interest rate. [Wave] You just have to make sure to return it on time. It’s not that hard! [Storm] DAH!
[Wave] You’re the one who didn’t want a streaming service! [Wave] You’re the one who didn’t want a streaming service! [Wave] They’re so much better! [Jet] Stop it!
[Storm] Aaah!
[Wave] What? [Jet] We’ve had Grown Ups 2 for almost four months, and I still haven’t seen it yet! [Jet] I’ve wanted to for such a long time, but it’s so hard for us to get together, you know? [Storm] Well, you’re never there for movie night. [Jet] It’s hard to make time, you know, with your friends. It’s tough. [Storm] Uh, ya know what? It IS tough. [Storm] I’ll make a- I’ll make an effort to- uh, have more time to watch movies with you. Okay? [Jet] We’ll figure this out. I promise. [Storm] You bet, boss! I’m gonna run like a cartoon now. [Storm] Woohoo! Aaah! (crash) [Wave] Oh!
[Jet] (startled hawk noise) [Wave] That better not have been my- [Wave] NO! My father was in that painting! [Jet] Oh no! [Wave] No! [Jet] Fuck desks! (everyone laughing) [Jet] (hawk noises) [Penny] (laughing) [Wave] Ugh… [Wave] Uuuugh… [Jet] Hmm… [Jet] I hear womanly emotions. [Penny] (laughing again) [Wave] I’m not a girl, you idiot! [Wave] I’m a SWALLOW! Jesus, it’s not that hard! [Wave] Okay, I’m sorry for snapping at you. I know that it’s been kind of rough, [Jet] Y’know? [Wave] Yeah, I know! Look at me point. Wha-What am I-? [Wave] Oh, God, what’s happening to me? [Wave] Oh, God!
(everyone laughing) [Wave] I’ve been infected by the… [Sonic] WHOA! HERE I GO! YEAH! HURRAY! [Jet] Ah! I’m gonna go fuck with the competition. [Wave] Yeah, yeah. Oh no. Oh, my God. Help me. [Wave] Help me! Jet, no, don’t leave me! [Wave] Jet! Jet!
[Jet] Sorry, got places to be! [Sonic] Hey guys, watch this! [Tails and Knuckles] WHOA! [Knuckles] Holy… cow! [Sonic] Pretty cool, huh? Yeah! [Knuckles] Yeah! I’m glad I got to see it. [Knuckles] It would be really neat if the audience got to see it too. [Sonic] Tony Hawk! [Tails] Wow, Sonic, that was AWESOME! [Tails] You’re super cool! [Sonic] Thanks so MUCH, Tails! [Sonic] Haha- Whoa!
[Jet] Not very impressive for someone of your reputation! [Jet] Not very impressive for someone of your reputation! [Sonic] Oh, God, ya fucking dick! Who are you anyway?! [Jet] I’m Jet, and I’m your new best friend! If you’ll have me… [Tails] What? [Knuckles] That’s impossible. [Jet] I love meeting new people, but it’s so hard when you move to a new city from a sky ship. [Sonic] (increasingly angry noises) [Jet] You know, we could- [Jet] Uh, bye! [Sonic] You can’t just insert yourself into friend groups like that! [Knuckles] My therapist told me- [Sonic] Oh, I don’t care what your therapist told you, Knuckles. [Sonic] We have work to do. [Sonic] We gotta win this race so we can get the GameCube! [Tails] Uhh… Sonic? [Sonic] What? [Tails] We’re your friends, right? You would never replace us with somebody else… you promise? [Sonic] Not unless you did something lame or stupid or uncool! [Tails] Oh, okay! [Tails] It’s not like I feel like everything I do is lame and stupid and uncool… [Sonic] What?
[Tails] It’s not like I feel like everything I do is lame and stupid and uncool… [Tails] It’s not like I feel like everything I do is lame and stupid and uncool… but it’s fine! No, it’s really fine. [Tails] It’s really cool and good that you’re my friend and… anyway. I have- [Sonic] Okay.
[Tails] to go… I guess [Storm] I gotta get to McDonald’s before it closes. [Storm] Redbox is gonna be so pissed they’re gonna cut… [Storm] my- eye off. [Storm] Aaah! Nurgh! [Storm] Jet, your force field that stopped me- [Jet] I’m cutting you off. You’ve had too much. [Storm] I have to return Grown Ups 2, please! [Storm] It’s on this microchip that is not a Chex piece. [Wave] I’m gonna take that. [Storm] What the fuck?
[Wave] Let’s see… [Wave] If we hack into the Redbox, I might be able to extend the deadline. [Jet] You have to! [Storm] It’s the only way! Please, [Storm] do… that thing you said! [Wave] What the fuck, Eggman? What are you doing in the Redbox? [Jet] Hmm… So, Eggman was controlling Redbox the entire time, and he expected us to never find out? [Jet] I can’t believe this shit. [Eggman] With my full-on control, I will make sure that no one will ever be able to return a movie ever again, [Eggman] and Grown Ups 3 will be made by me, [Eggman] with the power of the angel’s wings, [Eggman] the mathematics that I’ve done on blocking, [Eggman] and Adam Sandler himself. [Eggman] I will have all the power to be able to stop it. [Eggman] No one will be able to get between me. [Eggman] I will make the brand-new GameCube 2 [Eggman] and Adam Sandler will be the one to promote it, for Grown Ups 3. [Eggman] DAHAHAHAHAHA! [Storm] What a fucking… bastard! [Storm] We can’t let him do that to Adam Sandler’s career! [Storm] It can’t take another hit!
[Jet] Welp… [Jet] I’m out. [Jet] Done with this shit. [Jet] Honestly, I’m not fucking with any more Redboxes. [Jet] Last time I did, it spit a bunch of quarters at me. [Wave] Wait, you don’t put quarters in there. What were you- [Wave] Jet, were you putting your quarters in the card reader? [Jet] No- [Wave] Jet. (everyone laughing) [Wave] That’s not how you do that! [Jet] They were pouring out of it! I almost drowned like Scrooge McDuck! [Wave] What the fuck are you talking about?! Is it a Coinstar?! [Jet] Here, I’ll show you. (everyone losing their shit) [Ryan] SHUT THE FUCK UP!
(everyone losing their shit) (everyone losing their shit) [Jet] Hey, wait a minute. You interrupted my flashback! [Wave] Oh sorry, my Behelit is calling me. Let’s see what we got here. [Jet] Oh Jesus Christ, let’s just ride on our skateboards. I feel like it’s a good way to de-stress. [Storm] Aw man, I feel so less stressed now! [Wave] So more relaxed!
[Storm] Let’s go to the Colosseum in the middle of the desert! [Storm] Let’s go to the Colosseum in the middle of the desert! [Announcer] Welcome to the Great Colosseum in the Middle of the Desert! [Announcer] Where did you guys park? [Announcer] I’m trying to figure it out. [Announcer] There’s no- there’s no way you guys actually got here, right? [Announcer] Did y’all walk?! Are you all nomads?! With like, 3 frames per second?! [Announcer] Who are you people?! [Eggman] Where do you think you’re going, Sonic? [Sonic] I’m going up the stairs! [Eggman] You think you’ve won? You think you’re just gonna get away with this? [Eggman] You think that you actually won the GameCube 2? [Eggman] You think that you’re gonna get that out of my hands? Oh, Sonic. [Sonic] Here, watch this, I got like a Chaos Emerald and everything. [Eggman] Sonic. Sonic, wait. Wait, wait, Sonic. Sonic, wait a minute. [Eggman] Waitaminutewaitaminutewaitaminute (hyperventilating)
[Sonic] One, two, three, four, five… [Eggman] Sonic, those are for Adam Sandler, please. [Sonic] Hmm, got one right here! [Jet] You know, I have to say something really cool here to close out the dub trailer. [Sonic] Okay, I’ll say something cool too. [Chase] Great work, guys. (everyone laughing) [Eggman] What is happening? What is going on? What the- no! My gems! [Sonic] I’m gonna win, bitch, I’m gonna win! [Jet] NO! [Sonic] Haha! There’s nothing that can stop me now! [Sonic] Especially not some sort of unforeseen disaster event! [Sonic] Woohoo! [Wave] Oh boy, I’ve foreseen a disaster! [Sonic] (hellish scream of agony) [Chase] Oh, my God, he’s dead! [Chase] Domestic terrorism! [Chase] Oh, no! [Announcer] And would ya look at that, everyone? Sonic has fuckin’ died! [Announcer] Who wants to bite the bullet and kiss him? [Sonic] …I’m gonna… fucking kill you. [Jet] Looks like you’re stuck with the Wii U, you punk bitch! [Alfred] (wheezing) [Sonic] The Wii U’s not that bad! [Jet] It’s true, but the lack of support means the controller will be outdated [Sonic] Oh, you’re right!
[Jet] and no one will be able to replace iiiiiiit! [ Announcer] Hey, audience, I know you’re wondering what the fuck is going on! [Announcer] Uhh… me too! [Announcer] I WAS not told about any- What? Uh, WHAT? Uh, they’re- They’re floating. [Announcer] They’re floating? I don’t think- I don’t think- Uh… It doesn’t- Hold on, lemme fuckin’- Uh… [Jet] I’m turning up the graphics settings once and for all! [Announcer] It does NOT say any-
[Jet] I’m turning up the graphics settings once and for all! [Jet] I’m turning up the graphics settings once and for all! [Announcer] It does NOT say anything about this at- [Announcer] OH, I CAN SEE THE WRINKLES ON MY HANDS! [Announcer] I CAN SEE MY AGE! [Announcer] WHAT THE FUCK?! [Alfred] (laughter) [Announcer] I CAN- [Announcer] I HAVE SO MUCH DETAIL! [Announcer] …Also, there’s a laser. [Announcer] Alright, well, this sports announcer doesn’t know- [Alfred] What is ha- What is going on?! [Alfred] What is ha- What is going on?!
[Chase] Wh– [Penny] (laughing) [Chase] WHAT THE FUCK? [Announcer] MY CAR WAS THERE, YOU DICK!
[Chase] WHAT THE FUCK? [ Announcer] MY CAR WAS THERE, YOU DICK! [Red] Oh, he dug up Pompeii. Thanks, Jet. [Jet] Hey everybody, I found Pompeii! [Chase] I did not think this is gonna get this fucking crazy. [Alfred] I didn’t think so either! [Chase] I thought they were doing skateboarding tricks. [Blue] Y’all, it’s Sonic. [Ryan] This is an advanced skateboarding trick. [Chase] Yeah, it’s called “Digging Up Atlantis”. [Ryan] Yeah, you Ollie nosegrind, and then use the Chaos Emeralds and the GameCube 2 to summon Babylon fucking Garden. [Jet] Yup. That’s it. GameCube 2. That’s how it works. [Jet] Good thing I’ll have it forever. [Jet] Right in my- AHH! [Eggman] Hahahahahaha… [Amy] Oh my, God! I know that guy! [Eggman] That GameCube is mine, I’m taking it- [Amy] Oh oh oh! OH!
[Eggman] That GameCube is mine, I’m taking it- [Eggman] Oh, if this hoe don’t get off of my car- GET OFF THE CAR, GET OFF! [Eggman] PLEASE! AAAAAH! [Omochao] I’ve come to make a- Wait no, wrong script. [Omochao] Anyway, there’s a big fucking desert thing that happened. [Omochao] A little bit weird, but I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about too much. [Omochao] Unless, like, you know, you think the world’s gonna end, like, with all, climate, whatever. [Omochao] I-I’m sure it’s fine. Don’t even worry about it. [Omochao] But you know what, gotta say, I don’t know how it floats. [Sonic] How do you guys think it floats!? [Knuckles] I have no idea, I’m not a climate scientist! [Jet] Hm?! [Sonic] Huh?! There he is! [Eggman] Fuckin’ out of here! [Chase] Look at his little scooter! [Eggman] I gotta go. Oh, this car-
[Chase] Look at his little scooter! [Tails] Go, Sonic! You got this, bud! Here, take this skateboard! [Sonic] Oh! I maybe don’t got it, please don’t throw it, we’re in the middle of the air, Tails, you [Sonic] reckless son of a bitch-
[Tails] Listen I’m- just- I’m sorry I’m just trying to do my best! [Tails] Listen I’m- just- I’m sorry I’m just trying to do my best! [Sonic] You need to do better, No sorrys! [Sonic] See ya!
[Knuckles] Wait, sonic! I need to tell you about something that my therapist told me- [Sonic] Woooo! [Sonic] Yeah! [Sonic] I’m such a cool guy. [Jet] Nyoom! [Jet] I’m gonna show you all the coolest skateboard tricks, and then you’ll respect me! [Sonic] Huh, likely. [Jet] It is! [Sonic] Uh, yeah. Well, I mean, you gotta prove it though, so… go for it! Let me see some of those tricks! [Jet] Wheee! [Sonic] I’m not seeing em! [Knuckles] Aw, FUCK, my knee! [Storm] Aw, God, my knee!
[Tails] Sorry, oh! Oh! Oooh…
[Knuckles] Jesu- Oh! [Knuckles] God! [Storm] Oh, that hurt.. [Knuckles] I can’t make these kinds of impacts at my age! [Storm] Kiss me!
[Knuckles] Alright… [Knuckles] Time to make some impacts at my age… [E-10000G] (scanning noise) Fire when ready? [E-10000R] Yep, that’s my voice now, shoot em bitches! (laughter and robot noises) [Tails] Oh no, Knuckles, look out! They’re- robots! [Knuckles] Oh, come on! [Tails] (confused screaming) [Storm] See ya! [Tails] Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me! [Tails] No! Wait! AHHH!
[E-1000R] Get ‘er! [Robot noises] [Tails] wuff [Tails] Got out of there, just in time. [Sonic] Hua! [Jet] Aagh! [Sonic] Wait, Jet, look out! [Jet] AUGHHH [Sonic] Holy shit, are you ok? Oh my god, are you ok? [Jet] The hand of god! [Sonic] Just kidding, I don’t care.
[Jet] (screams upon impact) [Eggman] Adam Sandler’s in here, locked behind these doors. [Eggman] With gi-
[Sonic] No. [Eggman] What do you want?
[Sonic] Eggman. [Eggman] No, stop- get back.
[Sonic] You’re not gonna see Adam Sandler before I do! [Eggman] Guess what?
[Amy] Ohhhhhh… (Eggman and Sonic trade “what?” “yup.” and “mm-hm”s) [Eggman] You wanna get into my (mumble-laughs)? You wanna get in my way again? [Eggman] Oh huh oh, you thought it was gonna be like last time huh? [Eggman] You thought I was gonna let that happen? [Sonic] No, I got some new tricks motherfucker. [Eggman] Well guess what I’ve- got a new trick and it’s called getting the hell away from you- [Amy] Ahh…
[Eggman] Well guess what I’ve- got a new trick and it’s called getting the hell away from you- [Amy] Ahh…
[Eggman] Huh? [Eggman] WHAT- OH- *COUGH* *COUGH* [Eggman] WHAT IS THAT? Whh… [Amy] Ahh… [Amy] What? [Amy] Ahh… [Sonic] POGGERS! [Eggman] Wait, no nononononono- [Amy] Ahh…
[Eggman] Wait, no nononononono- [Eggman] Wait, no nononononono- [Amy] Aahh…! [Eggman] Eughhhh- [Sonic] bITch!
[Amy] CHOO! [Eggman] uwAAAH……
[Amy] Oh god! I’m sorry, I sneezed REAL bad. [Sonic] Got it. [Sonic] Alright Jet, take this. [Jet] OK. [Sonic] Are we friends now? [Jet] I sure would like to be, [Jet] and I’m very angry about how many people have been disrespecting us today. [Storm] Ey guys, you have my copy of Grownups 2?
[Wave] Holy SHIT, Sonic’s alive, [Wave] oh thank GOD, I did NOT want to be… [Wave] oh thank GOD, I did NOT want to be…
[Jet] (hawk noise) [Wave] …responsible for hedgehog slaughter. This has been a good day. [Jet] Bye, new friend!
[Wave] Bye!
[Storm] Yeh, see you guys! [Sonic] Ugh. [Sonic] Well, maybe he’ll make it through the application process. [Sonic] He’d be a nice add to our group. [Tails] yyyeah, sure….
[Amy] gaaaaaA [Sonic] Huh?
[Amy] You mOther fUCKer, you just left me to DIE. [Sonic] Top 30 Reasons Why Sonic is Sorry [Sonic] Top 30 Reasons Why Sonic is Sorry
– Number 5 Will Surprise You! [Amy] Top 30 Anime Deaths – [Amy] Top 30 Anime Deaths
– Number One: [Amy] Top 30 Anime Deaths
-Number One:
Your Fuckin’ ASS RIGHT NOW!! (cast laughter)
(Sonic pleading)
(Amy yelling) [Sonic] Amy, no, wait, oh god please leave me alone
[Amy] You sonnuvabitch! [Sonic] I don’t wanna die, I’m not ready to die, there’s so many things I
[Amy] I’m gonna fuckin’ wear your guts for garters! [Sonic] haven’t done yet, Amy PLEASE,
[Amy] I swear to GOD- [Sonic] I need to go to a Chipotle! I need to visit Walt Disney World!
[Amy] (continues yelling) [Storm] So… This is the new Redbox. [Jet] The Redbox… [Jet] Finally, all of the Gamecube 2 games will be ours for free! [Jet] (terrified hawk noise) [Wave] Ow, my eyes! [Storm] Is that God? [Storm] Oh no, it’s just empty. [Storm] Wow this sucks. (wheeze) [Wave] Where’s all the treasure? [Sonic] Oh, Amy! Amy, please! Please, please mercy!
[Amy] Fucking- swear to God! [Sonic] Please have mercy on me!
[Amy] Sonic, I thought you were working through your-augh! [Amy] You hit me?! [Announcer] Come to Redbox to get all the latest deals [Announcer] on the new- newly released movies and Gamecube 2 games. [Sonic] It’s the Adam Sandler signal! [Everyone] (laughing) [Wave] Whee!
[Jet] I’m gonna watch Uncut Gems! [Storm] Oh my God, it’s the Redbox Matrix! We made it! [Adam Sandler] Hey, what’s up guys, welcome to my Matrix. (really hard laughter) [Jet] Adam Sandler? [Sonic] We are gonna get in, I gotta see Adam! [Tails] No, we gotta get inside quick, before the door closes! [Sonic] Shut up, I’m going in! [Storm] Is that Adam Sandler? [Adam Sandler] Ayy, you know who it is, it’s me, Adam Sandler! [Adam Sandler] I don’t know how good this impression is. I don’t know why I’m a demon. [Sonic] Oh I think it’s pretty good. [Storm] Why does he look like that? [Amy] Who’s Adam Sandler? [Demon] Oh, ya know, I’m not really Adam Sandler. [Demon] I’ll leave now, I’m sorry. [Amy] Wait, no, don’t, wait! [Amy] Explain to me who Adam Sandler is!
[Storm] That was a great impression! [Storm] Do you own a YouTube channel? [Demon Adam Sandler] I’m always with you~ [Sonic] (gasps) [Sonic] It’s the leaked script for Click 2! [Amy] Oh, wow. [Sonic] Wha-? [Eggman] Now that you have that leaked script, now I’m feeling Happy Gilmore. Do you get it? [Sonic] Yeah, me too! [Eggman] I know, that’s pretty clean, right? (laughs) [Jet] (confused hawk noises) [Eggman] (continues laughing) [Eggman] Now hand it over. Give it to me. I want Click 2. I want the- I want the script. [Jet] Here you go. [Eggman] Wow, this thing is hefty as hell. [Eggman] There’s not even that much dialogue in that movie to begin with! [Eggman] Good Lord. Well, thanks for this. I mean, I don’t know what I’m gonna- wait a minute. [Eggman] This isn’t a script. This is a rug. And there’s a…note? [Heavenly voice] This is my rug~ [Eggman] My- wait, let me read this. [Eggman] “My dearest Ikea customer, [Eggman] if you are dissatisfied with anything that you have received in the past 24 hours [Eggman] you may return the rug immediately.” [Eggman] That is signed from Mr. Ikea himself. [Eggman] “P.S: This rug was made with love and signed [Eggman] by Adam-?!” (gasp) [Eggman] (shaky breath) Oh my God! [Eggman] Do you realize what this means? Do you feel this? [Eggman] This was signed… [Eggman] …by Adam Sandler! [Eggman] The god! The angel! The blessing! I could sell this for millions of dollars! [Eggman] Oh my goodness! I could be rich! [Eggman] I will never have to chase after hedgehogs ever again! [Eggman] It’s so stretchy, too. So Fabergé. Is it cashmere? How much can I sell it for? [Eggman] (Grunts) Eugh! [Eggman] (weak laughter) [Tails] Eggman, are you okay? [Wave] No, he’s dead. We must carry on the legacy. [Sonic] Can I bury the body? [Wave] His family wanted an open coffin. [Tails] Well, okay, I guess I’m Eggman now, so…that’s the story. [Jet] Yep ! That’s gotta be it ! [Sonic] Wait, is it like Tim Allen rules? [Jet] Whoa, the Gamecube 2… [Jet] It’s reacting to the script ! [Sonic] (exclaims) [Wave] Well, looks like it can show us the world. [Sonic] Shinning, shimmering, splendid- [Amy] I swear to God… [Jet] Tell me, Sonic. Now when did you last let your heart decide? [Amy] Are we really doing this? [Amy] Is everyone doing A Whole New World without me? [Amy] I wanna be Jasmine, you son of a bitch! [Amy] Wait, how the fuck did we get here? (short laughter) [Sonic] What a domain to leave behind so wrecked. [Jet] Yeah, I mean, it was okay. [Jet] We met Adam Sandler so, that’s gotta be worth something. [Jet] And I feel like I’ve made a real friend today. [Jet] I’ll put in my application. [Sonic] Yeah there’s no guarantees, it’s like a whole process. [Jet] Yep. [Wave] Yeah. [Storm] Slap! [Wave] Ow, what the fuck?!
[Storm] That was really funny. [Jet] Oh, you two. [Tails] Hey, Sonic- [Sonic] Wait, I don’t talk to you. You’re Eggman now. [Jet] Whee! (everyone laughing)
[Sonic] Whee! Whoo-hoo! [Sonic singing] If I were a rich man, with a million or two~
[Jet] You’re green with it! [Sonic singing] If I were a rich man, with a million or two~ [Jet singing] I’d live in a penthouse in a room with a view~ [Sonic] One more time! You’re green with it! [Sonic & Jet] Wouldn’t have nothin’ if I didn’t have you~ [Jet] Alright! I’ll see you in five years in Team Sonic Racing! I’ll be there! [Jet & Sonic] Wouldn’t have nothin’ if I didn’t have youuuuuuuu~ [Sonic] Woah, oh, oh! [Jet] A E I O, That means you! [Announcer] Welcome to City 17! [Announcer] You’ve been chosen. or have been chosen, or have been cho- this isn’t the right script [Announcer] Wait, what the fuck was tha-?! Hey, hey! [Announcer] Yo, tire, can you get the fuck out of my city please? [Tire] Boing! [SCR-HD] 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖. [SCR-HDs] 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖. [SCR-HDs] 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.
[Announcer] What the fuck?! [SCR-HDs] 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.
[Announcer] Y-you’re making all my robots go stupid! [Announcer] Ah, god, Boss is gonna be so pissed. [SCR-HDs] 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕤. 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕤. 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕤. 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕤. 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕤. [SCR-HDs] 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕤. 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕤. 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕤. 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕤. 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖𝕤.
[Announcer] At least say something smart! [♬ “A Ghost Pumpkin’s Soup – Remix 2019” by Tomoya Ohtani ♬] [Sonic] Well, Eggman, you’ve captured me once more. [Sonic] What are ya gonna do with me this time, motherfucker? What’s this donut about? [Tails] Well, I just wanted to say thank you for giving me content for my villainous backstory. [Tails] You know all those times you bullied me, and called me a jerk… [Knuckles] God! Retirement’s so boring! [Tails] Well, then get a job, loser. [Knuckles] I’m old! [Sonic] What’s that? Oh, are you gonna kill me in the car? [Scanner] Located. Small Tire. [Knuckles] Wait a second… [Knuckles] Aw, I hate the police! [SCR-HDs] Tire. Tire. Tire.
[Sonic] Oh god, what’s going on?! Wait- (Tails yelling) [Knuckles] One three one two! [Sonic] Look! [Sonic] In the elevator! [SCR-HDs] Tire. Tire. Tire. [Tails] I got it, I got it!
[SCR-HDs] 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖. [SCR-HDs] 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖.𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖. [Knuckles] Ow! Wait- [Sonic] Why are they saying tire? [Knuckles] Why did you kick me out of the car? [Tails] Maybe it’s because of the tire you have in your hand. [Sonic] Oh, that makes sense. I didn’t think about it that way. [Tails] Ohhh, we’re in so much trouble… [Knuckles] Going downnn? [SCR-HDs] TIRE! [Sonic] Look out! [SCR-HD] Tire! [SCR-HD] Ow. [SCR-HDs] (𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖 robot noises)
[Sonic] What the- Wait, if we didn’t plan this- [SCR-HDs] (𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖 robot noises)
[Sonic] Then whose fault could this possibly be? [Sonic] Look out! [Knuckles] Aha! [Knuckles] OW! (group screams) [Sonic] I’m gonna die! I’m not ready to die! [Sonic] NO! OH GOD!
[Tails] Good thing I can fly! Haha, bitch! [Sonic] I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory. [Sonic] Is this where it gets me? [Sonic] In the sky! Several feet ahead of me! [Sonic] Look out! [Robot?] ?????????? Located. destroying theatre kid. [Jet] (intrigued hawk grunt) [Jet] Now that we have the code for the Gamecube 2 we can get started on our next project. [Storm] Is this a Commodore 64 keyboard? [Jet] It sure is. And that’s going to be the peripheral for our new game system. [Jet] Title Pending™ [Storm] Oh my god… [Wave] (from now on with french accent) I am not okay with zis. [Storm] I didn’t think this day would come.
[Jet] Well… [Jet] I can’t think of anythin- (breaks off laughing) [Wave] Zat is alright.
(Marble and Penny laughing hysterically) (Marble and Penny laughing hysterically) [Storm] That’s okay game development is hard.
(Marble and Penny laughing hysterically) [Storm] Ugh- [Storm] I just remembered a traumatizing experience in my past, hang on I have to stim and I’ll feel better. (cast laughing)
[Storm] I just remembered a traumatizing experience in my past, hang on I have to stim and I’ll feel better. (cast laughing)
(Storm panting)
(Jet humming) [Jet] The Gamecube 3- No that, hmm… [Jet] It doesn’t feel right. [Wave] Ve can vorkshop it. [Disembodied Robot Voice] Can you please give me back my fucking tire? [Wave] Vas ist das? [Disembodied Robot Voice] Please, pretty fucking- I need the tire back. [Shooting Star] pyoom! [Wave] A shooting star! [Wave] It reminds me of missiles from ze war. [Storm] You know, I know you spent a- like a weekend in France, but you don’t have to, like pretend you’re french. [Wave] I spent 30 years in France! [Wave] The problem is that I had to solve a problem with time dilation. [Storm] Hahahaha! I can’t understand you through your thick accent but I still like you, ’cause you’re my friend. [Jet] I swear to god. [Storm] Oh my god! You scared me, I didn’t know you were there. [Jet] These motherfuckers… [Jet] Please… deliver me from this hell. (cast laughing) (shooting star noises) [Storm] Uh, did anybody hear that or was that just me? [Storm] Nah, i’m just gonna pretend it was me, I’m also gonna pray. [Storm] WOAH!
[Wave] They have returned. [Disembodied Robot Voice] I told you to give me back my fucking tire, you– bird-bitch! [Jet] The Commodore 64! [Disembodied Robot Voice] Bird found that is not Falco Lombardi. Therefore; access denied. [Jet] I knew I should have invited my cousin, Falco Lombardi! [Jet] He would have solved all of this. [Disembodied Robot Voice] You are not attractive enough. Die. [Jet] It’s impolite to judge people based on attractivenesssss! [Storm] What the fuck? [Disembodied Robot Voice] Warudo located. [Disembodied Robot Voice] Tire: in use. [Jet] That’s right! I can fly now! [Jet] I’ve been a bird this entired god damn time i should be familiar with this feeling [Wave] Ah! Ah! Oh gosh!
[Storm] Ah! Oh my god! Put me down! [Jet] Well! [Jet] I’ve got places to be! [Wave] I have za dentist appointment! [Storm] And I just don’t wanna be in the air! [Jet] Too bad, you’re coming with me, let’s go! [Jet] WEEEEEEEEEEEE
(group yells) [Wave] Eugh, now I must reschedule. [Wave] Know how hard it is to find dentist when I have BEAK? [Wave] I hope it was worth it. [Wave] Ugh, he’s not available until next month! [Jet] mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm [Jet] MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM [Jet] AUGH! [Jet] I can’t fucking take this shit, the guilt is killing me, I’m sorry! [Wave] Imagining yourself as a jet plane will not help you zis time, Jet. (cast laughing) [Jet] I think it will, but honestly, I just- I want to apologize. [Wave] Okay, well I accept your apology. [Jet] I’ll do your dental work. [Wave] Please don’t. [Jet] When was the last time we got Dunkin Donuts? I mean, honestly. [Jet] I know they’re serving tires now, but- [Storm] Hey has anybody seen my pacemaker? Why is it that every time I come into this room I’m scared? [Storm] Look, I didn’t know I could create holograms with my hand, but I’ve just- [Storm] I’ve been experimenting with this. This is a short film I came up with in my mind. [Storm] It involves this ring. I don’t know what the significance of it is yet, but I’m just gonna figure that out. [Jet] We have to collect all of them, I’m sure. [Jet] It’s like the rings in cereal boxes. [Jet] Individually, they’re useless… [SCR-HD]
𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖. [SCR-HD] 𝕋𝕚𝕣𝕖. [SCR-HD] Tracks. Racing. Racing. Racing. Racing. Racing. [Jet] (hawk noise)
[SCR-HD] Tracks. Racing. Racing. Racing. Racing. Racing. [SCR-HD] Uh, oop, there I go. [Jet] Weeeee! Eat shit! I am the prince of all hawks! [SCR-HD] BEEP. [SCR-HD] Database for… Tony of the… hawks… [SCR-HD] Flying. [SCR-HD] Hey, Beta-49. [SCR-HD] Do you ever think about death and stuff? [Beta-49] Naw, I’m still on that tire thing. [SCR-HD] I haven’t gotten to that part yet, no spoilers. [SCR-HD] Oh, me too. Good tires. [Knuckles] I hate camping. [Sonic] I do too, especially with Eggman. [Sonic] Oh!
[Amy] Hey! Guess who’s back from college! [Sonic] Who’s that! Unhand me, you- oh, hey Amy, what’s going on? [Jet] (hawk grunt) [Jet] Maybe I should go to college. [Jet] Y’know, it’s never too late to explore your real passions. [Amy] …I got my degree, in abstract thinking! [Amy] It’s a new degree, and I made it myself! [Amy] It’s a new degree, and I made it myself!
[Sonic] Oh. Could you think abstractly about letting me go? [Jet] Oooh ! [Amy] I studied something like this in my ancient history class. [Amy] If we turn it, it’ll decipher itself and give us access to power! [Jet] (Agitated Hawk sound)
[Amy] If we turn it, it’ll decipher itself and give us access to power! [Jet] (Agitated Hawk sound) [Sonic] What’s that agitated motorcycle sound?
[Jet] (Agitated Hawk sound) [Wave] Calm down.
[Jet] Look how fast my fingers are! [Storm] Yeah, you okay, dude? You’re doing your agitated motorcycle impression again. [Wave] Listen, zat is not even ze good donut. [Wave] It has weird raspberry filling. [Jet] I wanted to try new things! I feel like I always get jelly filled. [Storm] “Never go outside your comfort zone.” Thats what I always say. [Amy] Oh. [Knuckles] Woah! [Sonic] Knuckles, that’s a great Amy impression you got there, man- [Sonic] -but now’s not the time!
[Knuckles] I’ve been working on it in my retirement. [Sonic] We gotta get outta here!
[Amy] I’m extremely flattered! [SCR-HD] Oh god, I am a mass produced entity. [SCR-HD] 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕠 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕕. [SCR-HD] 𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕖𝕩𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕒𝕝 𝕔𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕥𝕠𝕔𝕠𝕝 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕟𝕠𝕨. [SCR-HD] 𝔹𝕣𝕠, 𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕠, 𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕪 𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕥. [SCR-HD] 𝕆𝕙 𝕞𝕪 𝕘𝕠𝕕. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤, 𝕥𝕠𝕠? [SCR-HD] 𝕎𝕒𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕞𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝕒 𝕧𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕠 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕞𝕖? (?)
[SCR-HD]𝕆𝕙 𝕞𝕪 𝕘𝕠𝕕. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤, 𝕥𝕠𝕠? [SCR-HD] 𝕎𝕒𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕞𝕒𝕕𝕖 𝕒 𝕧𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕠 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕞𝕖? (?) [SCR-HD] 𝕎𝕒𝕚𝕥, 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕠𝕣 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕞𝕖? [Sonic] So what’s the plan? [Sonic] What are we gonna do about this? [Tails] Ah!
[Amy] Wait a minute! [SCR-HD] 𝕎𝕙𝕪 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕪 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕖? [Amy] I’ll hit em!
[Knuckles] Don’t do it. [SCR-HD] 𝕆𝕙 𝕙𝕖𝕪, 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕒 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝕚𝕥’𝕤 𝕓𝕚𝕣𝕕𝕤. [Sonic] Oh god! Oh Jesus!
[Knuckles] Okay, do it! [SCR-HD] 𝔾𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞. [SCR-HD] 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕓𝕖𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕖𝕩𝕪 𝕖𝕟𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙. [Jet] No one can fuck with me now! [Jet] Die! [Tails] What? What is happening? [Knuckles] Uh, i’m not sure.
[SCR-HD] (death noise) [SCR-HD] 𝔽𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪, 𝕤𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕥 𝕕𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙. [Jet] I have reached my full potential. The screen is frozen. [Sonic] Jet, your application was denied. [Wave] Hello! Are you ready for your appointment next Fri- [Tails] No! [Storm] Hey, are you ready for your ass-kicking appointment right now? C’MERE BIG BOY! [Knuckles] I’M RETIRED! How many times do I have to say this? [Jet] I realize that my real friends were with me all along! [Jet] Fuck all of you! [Amy] Wait… I’m your real friend?!
[Jet] How dare you deny my application. [Jet] I was mostly talking about Storm and Wave but sure let’s be pals! [Sonic] Wait, not everyone has an application procket?-
[Penny] (aside) Ah, shit. (cast laughing) [Jet] That’s right, Sonic! [Jet] I just add people on Facebook if I think I recognize them from a party. [Sonic] Huh? [SCR-HD] 𝔻𝕀𝕊ℂ𝕆𝕍𝔼ℝ𝕐. 𝔻𝕀𝕊ℂ𝕆𝕍𝔼ℝ𝕐. 𝔻𝕀𝕊ℂ𝕆𝕍𝔼ℝ𝕐. [Disembodied Voice] Warning: Friendship!
[SCR-HD] 𝔻𝕀𝕊ℂ𝕆𝕍𝔼ℝ𝕐. 𝔻𝕀𝕊ℂ𝕆𝕍𝔼ℝ𝕐. 𝔻𝕀𝕊ℂ𝕆𝕍𝔼ℝ𝕐. [Disembodied Voice] 𝔻𝕀𝕊ℂ𝕆𝕍𝔼ℝ𝕐? Okay, I need to re-write this fucking thing, this script is fucked. [Sonic] Okay. You stay right here and be a bitch and I’ll run away. [Jet] I’m not a biiiitch! [Tails] Hey, wait for me! [Storm] You can’t go! You ARE a bitch. You have to stay here. [Amy] No, alright, no- wait… Alright…
[Storm] No, nope. [Amy] Alright that’s it. [Amy] I’m gonna fucking kill you. [Storm] Ow!
[Amy] Alright now that I’ve committed homicide- [Amy] No! No, no, no, you’re hemeridging!
[Storm] Wait, no! I’m the bitch now! [Storm] Come back, I don’t wanna be the bitch, please!
[Amy] You’re hemeridging internally! [Amy] Hahaha! You’re hemeridging!
[Storm] I hate- [Jet] You know what?
[Sonic] Yeah I DO know what. [Sonic] …So no need to tell me. (cast laughing) [Jet] Okay!
(cast laughing) (cast laughing) [Eggman] Oh Jesus Christ. [Eggman] Ugh, it’s been five years I’ve been over here at Harvard and I still can’t get access to see feet pics! (explosion)
[Eggman] Wha- [Eggman] Who’s here? Oh, God. What is it now? [Sonic] Look OOUUTT
[Eggman] Oh, wait! Those aren’t the feet pi- UAAGH! [Knuckles] Hang on. No, no, no! No feet! [Eggman] Oh, Goddammit dammit dammit! [Eggman] Why can’t you leave me alone? It’s been five years. [Tails] Eggman???
[Sonic] Woah. Eggman OG! [Eggman] (sigh) I went to Harvard, I got my life together, I didn’t wanna think about you guys, haha. [Sonic] No way that’s true. I don’t believe it for a single second, you still look like a raggedy-ass bitch. [Eggman] Oho, T- coming from the raggedy-ass o- hovering ass bitch. I know that’s not you talking. [Eggman] Now listen up. I sent out those robots. [Sonic] I’m gonna point at you and make you feel inferior.
[Eggman] I want my- [Eggman] I’m going to point my finger back at you. [Sonic] I’m not in the sky, dicknips! [Knuckles] Eggman?! [Eggman] aOOOOOOOOH [Eggman] Don’t uh- don’t uh- threaten me with a bad time! [Eggman] Ooh I’m 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 of your… fuckin’… nipple fuckin’ knuckles. Shut up. [Eggman] I’m gonna tell you what I’m gonna plan. [Eggman] The robots- [Sonic] Eggman planning with robots? How out of character! [Computer] Rudeness detected. [Tails] Yeah, totally out of character, Sonic. [Tails] You realize I’m not really Eggman, right? And he just wants the- hairtie you have? [Eggman] No, no, I’m Tails actually, I’m actually Tails. [Eggman in Tails voice] Give me that, Sonic. I wanna be your friend. That thing on your wrist. [Sonic] Oh, I’m so fooled! Which one is the real Tails? [Knuckles] I see you’ve been working on your impressions in your retirement as well. [Eggman] Whoa, rela-hey, hey, hey, relax!
[Knuckles] I see you’ve been working on your impressions in your retirement as well. [Knuckles] Check out my other impression. [Eggman] What is it called? [Knuckles] It’s called you’re a bitch. [Knuckles] (In Eggman voice) Ooh, I’m Eggman!
[Eggman] Ok, ok, ok… [Knuckles] I’m gonna type on a computer, blah blah.
[Eggman] One, one, one. Ok! [Eggman] So it all started here. [Eggman] I was building all of these robots, [Eggman] and then I had bought at least four to five Apple watches on the same day. [Eggman] And then, something happened. [Eggman] In the middle of the lab, as the robots were working at it, [Eggman] there was some sort of bright resource coming from the middle. [Eggman] And I had to go check it out, I had to see what it was. [Eggman] And little did I know, it was a tiny piece of my braincell. [Eggman] that I put inside of the machine so that way it could function around my mental main-men- [Eggman] my mental! My brain?! [Eggman] As you can see, I’m still missing the brain piece. I haven’t gotten it back. [Eggman] It’s glistening, it’s shining, it’s wonderful. It reminds me of a piece of ham. [Eggman] But then, my smartness was too much. My IQ, [Eggman] risen, ’cause I watched Rick and Morty, and the robots had gained sentience. [Eggman] and all they said were Rick and Morty quotes and talked about tires. [SCR-HD] Wubba-flubba-dub-dub.
[SCR-HD] Riiiick.
[SCR-HD] Pickle Riiick! [SCR-HD] Pickle Riiick.
[SCR-HD] I am Tire Rick. [Eggman] I didn’t know what to do with myself so I spread out an emergency thing throughout the island. [Eggman] Each of these cursors represent (wheezing laugh) my tentacles, what? [Sonic] What do they repre-oh, your t-your tentacles?! [Eggman] Look, I have a lot of secrets, okay? Jesus. [Jet] I’ll say, holy shit. [Jet] I mean, tentacles? You-I-I’m very impressed but also very disturbed. [Jet] (surprised hawk noise) [Jet] That’s me being surprised about the tentacles. [Storm] (panting) [Storm] (panting)
[Amy] Wow! I’m really glad… I took that extra… course in… [Storm] Please stop!
[Amy] the extracurriculars… [Storm] My legs are numb!
[Amy] Run… [Storm] I don’t even know how long I’ve been following you! [Amy] Track team!
[Storm] I don’t even know how long I’ve been following you! [Storm] I don’t even know how long I’ve been following you! [Amy] Oh, God… Fuck, I’m out of shape. [Storm] Let me show you my YouTuber impressions! [Amy] I don’t wanna! I choose you, ring! [Storm] OWW! [Storm] (dying noise) [Amy] How many concussions does it take to get to the center of your fuckin’ head? [Amy] The answer is “a lot”! [Amy] A lot of concussions! [Amy] Now, I have one question for you, bucko! [Storm] Okay, anything! My eyes, they’ve-they’ve gone wonky! [Amy] You need to help me. You need to be my friend and give me piggy-back rides every Friday! [Storm] Every Friday? [Amy] Every Friday. [Storm] What about on holidays?
[Amy] Every Friday. [Amy] Alright, get ready, here I come for the piggy-back ride! [Storm] Alright, I’m leanin’ over. [Storm] Are you gonna get on or what? [Storm] I don’t think you know what piggy-back rides are. [Amy] It’s an abstraction. Hang on. [SCR-HD] Beep. piggy-back_ride.exe initiating. [Storm] Don’t move. [SCR-HD] Scanning. Scanning, scanning, scanning. [Storm] It can’t see us if we don’t move. It’s like a dinosaur, probably. [SCR-HD] Fuckin’ tire babyyyyyyyy. [Amy] Wow that’s a shitty fuckin’ robot. [Amy] Can’t even look at stuff, that’s dumb. [Storm] Wow.
[Amy] What happened? Is this l- [Storm] Well, I think… You know what, it saw the ring that I had. [Storm] And you see this ring right here, it’s much shittier. [Storm] It got jealous and it was like “what’s the fuckin’ point of even trying?” [Amy] Holy shit.
[Storm] I think that’s my current working theory, [Storm] I’m gonna eat this. It looks like half a pretzel. [Storm] And God, I’m hungry. [Storm] There’s not much food in this chroma nightmare that we call society. [Amy] No, get back here! Hang on! [Storm] No, hahaha!
[Amy] I wanna develop a friendship with you! [Storm] So long, you dusty bitch! HAHA! [Sonic] Whoa! Huh? [Sonic] My Dusty Bitch senses told me to come over here. [Amy] SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH YOU PIECE OF SHIT! [Amy] I DID NOT GO TO FOUR YEARS OF MASTERS’ SCHOOL TO GET TO BE CALLED A DUSTY BITCH! [Sonic] Okay, what did you go for, though? Cause I can’t tell. [Tails] Sonic, look! There’s a hunk of junk here! [Sonic] Yeah, a robot, too.
[Tails] And I’m not talking about you. [Knuckles] Really got him that time. Hey, what’s up, Amy? [Amy] Nothing, you harlot. What’s up with you? Hey, look at this bitch. [Amy] We just doing this now? We all standing around? A bunch of assholes standing in a line? Congratulations. [Knuckles] Ah, fuck, she got us there, guys! Well. (Penny wheeze) (cast losing it)
[Tails] All right. I think we need to figure out what we’re gonna do about this. [Tails] They got away with one of the rings, maybe two of them. We gotta get the Apple watches back. [Knuckles] No! [Amy] Wait, hang on, I have an idea. [Amy] Okay, so if we split up and try to devise a plan of attack to go coordinated, [Amy] one by one after each member of the opposing team, then we’ll each have the ability [Amy] to try to counter each one and get the rings, bring them back- [Amy] Ahh, fuck! I thought too much! [Amy] My brain, it’s too smooth! [Tails] Come on, Amy! Come on, Amy!
[Amy] My brain, it’s too smooth! [Knuckles] No, not your corpus callosum-! [Amy] My corpus callosum! That’s right! [Amy] Hang on! [Sonic] Huh? Is college actually valuable? [Knuckles] College is extremely valuable. You should all value your education. [Knuckles] Back in 19-aught-7 when I first graduated from Princeton University I remember learning- [Tails] Ok, boomer, shut the fuck up. [Tails] What the hell? Can we just find the rings and get over with it? I’m so done with everybody’s shit. [Knuckles] Wait a minute, I wasn’t done! [Knuckles] -that I’m… a really handsome guy. [Knuckles] Now I’m done. Are we gonna do this now? [Knuckles] We doing Amy’s plan? [Knuckles] We’re all agreeing that Amy came up with this, right? [Sonic] Yeah. [Sonic] … whh- two, three, four, five, six, here we go! (cast laughing) [Amy] I fuckin’ hate all of you. [Amy] I’m really glad that I grew past being your friends. [Robot] Beep. Group discourse located. [Storm] Guys! Remember Hitclips? [Storm] I just ruu- I just found my Hitclips! My whole pouch full of them. [Jet] Well, what are you waiting for? Sh- hand them over! I need to listen! [Storm] I found a bunch by Aqua. [Storm] They’re in this ring-shaped box. [Jet] Wow.
[Storm] They’re in this ring-shaped box. [Storm] They’re in this ring-shaped box. [Jet] This is the best day of my life! [Storm] I was hoping you’d say that. Ah, God, you got me all giddy now. [Jet] How am I supposed to start discourse now? [Wave] Storm, thank goodness we found you. You have not eaten yet. [Wave] Your lunch is waiting in the fridge. [Storm] Oh, thanks, I’ll go get it soon. [Storm] Uh, I was feeling pretty hungry. Is it ham and cheese? [Eggman] What the fuck, those aren’t cookies. Ooh, I want one actually, nevermind. [Jet] I could fuck up some cookies right now. [Jet] Let’s go. We gotta! [Jet] We fuckin’ gotta… [Jet] Hit the fuckin’ gas pedal all the way down- floor it, that’s what you’re supposed to say! [Jet] Wait. Where’d- where’d the- where’d the Hitclips go? [Storm] Goddammit! That egg bitch. [Eggman] (singing) Haha, I got the hit clips. [Eggman] (singing) I’m starting discourse! [Eggman] (singing) I’m gonna cause problems on purpose! [Jet] No! I wanted to start the discourse!
[Eggman] (singing) I’m gonna cause problems on purpose! [Jet] No! I wanted to start the discourse! [Jet] You! Get me some more Hitclips. [Chase] Is he pointing at the audience? [Penny] Everyone at home! [Blue] Choose your own adventure. [Chase] Send your Hitclips to this P.O. box. [Sonic] OK, so we’re here now… [Sonic] What are we doing- Where- [Amy] So we’ve come to the original location of the artifact. [Amy] If we follow the protocols of museum: no learning! [Amy] Then the anthropological incentive would dictate- [Knuckles] There’s nothing here! [Sonic] There’s something here as long as you use your mind. [Knuckles] I’m using my mind dude, there’s nothing here. [Knuckles] Not here, not there- oh! There’s a hole. [Sonic] Looks like college was no match for classic street learning, amirite buddy? [Tails] Yeah, shut the fuck up you piece of shit. [Disembodied Robot Voice] Fox located, however, [Disembodied Robot Voice] attractiveness requirement has not reached levels of McCloud. [Tails] This art is really beautiful. [Amy] Hang on, wait a minute, we need an attractive person, step aside. [Tails] I am an attractive person Amy! [Tails] I’m attractive inside and out. I’ve got a good heart and a good soul and nobody seems to notice! [Tails] Nobody pays attention to me! [Knuckles] I paid attention bud. [Tails] Yeah, but you don’t appreciate me and that’s what really matters. [Knuckles] I appreciate you immensely buddy. [Knuckles] That’s why I need you to come over here and feel this crazy rock, holy shit. (cast laughs) [Knuckles] It’s really wild. I’m reading it. I learned braille back in 19-aught-7. [Sonic] (disbelief) Braille!? [Knuckles] You ableist piece of shit, what the fuck are you even good for anyway. [Tails] Yeah Sonic, why can’t you be a good guy like Knuckles? Jesus. [Tails] He’s so mean Knuckles, I don’t even know why I stay friends with him. [Sonic] Wait-
[Tails] I’m just trying to solve the mystery of these hit clip rings or Apple Watches or whatever they are. [Tails] I’m just trying to solve the mystery of these hit clip rings or Apple Watches or whatever they are. [Sonic] Wait, wait-
[Tails] I’m just trying to solve the mystery of these hit clip rings or Apple Watches or whatever they are. [Sonic] Serio- Wait, I’ve just been jokin’ this whole time, [Sonic] do you really think I’m mean? [Tails] YES! Of course I think you’re mean! [Tails] You say mean things to me! It’s not a funny joke! [Sonic] What? [Tails] Oh no, my yelling caused an avalanche. [Disembodied Robot Voice] Discourse detected.
[Tails] That’s normal… [Sonic] Huh?! [Tails] It looked like it was Eggman, and those other… people. [Knuckles] Alright. Maybe if we work together, [Knuckles] we can decipher these clues and figure out where they might be trying to go next! [Knuckles] Or… We could keep touching this crazy rock, LOOK HOW BIG IT IS! How’d the pictures get there? [Tails] Can- have you been able to decipher it yet? [Sonic] What’s the texture like Knuckles? [Knuckles] It’s rough… (snicker) [Knuckles] It’s real rough!
(cast starts laughing) [Knuckles] Real rough and great. [Tails] Well, th- normally rocks are rough, so, you got that one right, you’re good, A+ on that. [Tails] What does it say though? What’s the text say, ’cause we gotta go follow Eggman [Tails] and get the rings back! [Knuckles] I don’t know how to read Sumarian! [Sonic] I think it says whatever it needs to say. [Tails] Sonic, that’s not helpful. I appreciate you for trying. [Sonic] Everything I say is helpful, right? [Tails] That’s… part of the problem. [Sonic] Huh? [Storm] Hey bitches. [Jet] (hawk noises) [Sonic] Jet, what are you doing here? [Jet] Pointing at stuff. [Storm] You’re not even gonna acknowledge me? I greeted you. [Sonic] It’s great to point at stuff, but like I’m really confused about why we’re all here. [Sonic] It feels like destiny kinda just like, [Storm] Can you not, can you not hear?
[Sonic] brought us here. [Storm] I’m trying to have a conversation.
[Sonic] But like, why? [Wave] I used to think of myself as a slave to destiny, but I have realized, that we control- [Storm] This is ridiculous. I’m trying to be more heard, and feel like I’m not being heard. [Sonic] Shut the fuck up, you’re not heard ’cause no one wants to hear you. [Tails] Sonic, you need to do some serious self-adjustment my friend. [Tails] Otherwise, we’re gonna have to fight these people and that’s not good ’cause we- [Tails] well we gotta work together, as a team. [Amy] Yeah, we did establish we’re friends at the end of the last one- I mean 5 years ago. [Sonic] 5 years is a long time Amy, people change. [Amy] I know. [Sonic] Just. Like. Me! [Amy] Nope! You’ve been pretty consistently shitty bud. [Jet] I can still skate really fast, that never changed. [Sonic] And I can run faster than you can skate, so I say bring it on! [Sonic] To the top- oh that’s you- [Jet] Well, that’s me and I’m still pointing at stuff, and you should all come with. [Sonic] Okay. [Jet] Tricks are better with frieeeeennnnnddddsss. [Amy] Wheeeeee.
[Tails] Let’s go! [Wave] Here we go.
[Storm] Guys can I come? [Wave] Yes.
[Amy] Yeah, of course. [Storm] Oh, thank you. [Eggman] Hm ah, yes….my Martha’s stylopod- [Sonic] Wow! Look out! [Eggman] Woah no not again-OH GOD! ~Falling back~ [Eggman] ~I’m falling back~ [Tails] Stop, Eggman! [Eggman] Why am I still slow??? [Eggman] Ow-oh-oh! I’m dead. [Storm] BrOKen spine. [Wave] Eggman is dead once more. [Eggman] No, please! Stop! [Eggman] The rin-
[Storm] I can’t believe Eggman died! [Robot] Error!
[Robot] Error! Error! Tire!
[Robot] Error, error, error, [Robot] Tire! Tire!
[Robot] Tire! Error!
[Robot] error, error, error… [Robots] (keep going)
[Eggman] What have you DONE? You’ve activated every [Eggman] single tire robot in existence! [Sonic] This is what you get for trying to put the Click 2 hit clips into the National Film Archive! [Knuckles] Wait, you tried to do WHAT!? [Knuckles] You’re not allowed!
[Tails] What? Oh no! [Eggman] You’ve caused too much discourse! Wh-
[Sonic] Wha- what’s happening? [Eggman] The discourse is coming. [Eggman] It’s not gonna take long.
[Storm] It’s the place! [Wave] Discourse? [Jet] I don’t know what… DIS COURSE of action will lead to. [Sonic] Hoho, that was a good one, buddy. [Sonic] Here, take these.
[Jet] Thanks! [Jet] I’m gonna sell these on the internet. [Sonic] Okay, see ya later! Lemme know how it goes. [Wave] I will analyze these. [Wave] Put zem in box and dispose of zem properly. [Wave] Oh, SHIT, it’s an XBOX! (cast laughter) [Wave] Fack.
(cast laughter) (cast laughter) [Sonic] Okay. I’m gonna do some soul-searching, but I don’t really think I need to do a lotta changing. [Tails] Listen Sonic, this is really important. [Tails] It’s important that you learn something, and you go to therapy, and you take something from this. [Sonic] I’ll have to get a second opinion, but I’m hearin’ ya. [Tails] No you’re not! The fact that you need a second opinion means you’re not listening! [Knuckles] Waitaminute! The ROCK! I reMEMbered something! [Tails] (gasp) They forged them in the fires of friendship! [Tails] We have to be friends! [Sonic and Knuckles] What? [SCR-HD] (softly) t ir e.? [Robot] Friendship Is The True Magic [Robot] Of Scientific Advancement.
[Tails] Oh no! [Robot] XBOX acquIREEed. [Tails] Oh no, no, no!
[Robots] I will use this to create my friends. [Sonic] Whoa! Where are you going with that thematically unrelated XBOX? [Robot] 1… 2… 3… 4… [Sonic] We gotta get that thing back,
[Robot] (continues counting) [Sonic] it’s important for some reason! And also, you don’t talk to me.
[Robot] (continues counting) [Eggman] I’m not doing anything! [Sonic] Exactly! [Eggman] Well, you have to go to Pompeii to get the fuckin rings of friendship, I have to fix this rig! [Eggman] You’ve ruined a lot of things, Sonic. You’ve always been bitch. ALWAYS. [♬ “There Goes Hawaii” Orchestral Rendition by Laura Platt ♬] [Eggman] JEsus. [Knuckles] Are you guys okay? [Knuckles] Sorry Sonic knocked you over like that.
[Tails] Are you okay? Sonic! [Tails] We gotta go get the rings of friendship so that we can fix everything! [Sonic] Wait! Why am I being blamed for everything? (cast laughing) (cast laughing)
[Tails] Maybe it’s because you’re a little BITCH! (cast laughing) [SCR-HD] Beep, activating Friendship Cycle…. [Eggman] oOh, Pompeii’s shakin’ up the place.
[Knuckles & Tails] whOOa…
[Storm] Omygod [Eggman] Everybody hold onta something.
[Storm] It’s gettin’ all wavy! [Eggman] Jesus Christ- Jesus, oh god…
[Jet] This is probably fine. [Eggman] Wait- oh- oh, I don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself, I don’t know what’s gonna happen! [Eggman] If the Pompeii’s gone, there’s no vacation! [Sonic] Huh? (gasp)
[Jet] (hawk noise) [Sonic] They turned up the graphics settings! [Alfred] wh- WHH?? [Chase] Oh my god! (All characters screaming) [Eggman] What’s happening?
[Alfred] (wheezing) wh- are you fucking kidding meee? [SCR-HD] WELCOME TO THE END OF THE LINE. [Jet] Oh no! (All characters yelling “no!”) [SCR-HD] Time to activate the world’s largest SUCC. [Wave] Oh my god.
[Storm] Sonic, this is all because you were being a jackass! [Sonic] No! No, it can’t be! [Tails] I’m gonna get sucked outside!
[Knuckles] Hey, does anybody know where Amy went? [Tails] Please, SO- AAA-
[Knuckles] No!
[Sonic] Tails! Oh! [Sonic] I gotcha! [Eggman] (chuckling) Finally, you all can die! [Eggman] Yes! This is the chaos I wanted- seeya. [Jet] Now we have to go in there and-. [Wave] Jet, I vill follow you anyvhere. Just tell me where to go. [Sonic] We have to go in there and get the XBOX back! [Tails] Cmon, let’s go!
[Knuckles] Cyaaa! [Sonic] Whoa…
[Knuckes] YEET! [Jet] Alright. We’re playin’ the Halo 2!
[Sonic] Here we gooo! [Storm] Why are we following them? What the fu- [Jet] (hawk scream) (wheeze)
[Chase] f- OH my gOd. (assorted “the fuck?” “excUse me?” and “jEsus chrIST”s) [Sonic] OoH. [Blue] Cool JPEG. [Jet] Ugh… where..? Where ARE we? Is this XBOX? [Sonic] We’re in the world of thematic resolution, Jet. [Sonic] It’s a needed climax. [Sonic] DID YOU TAKE US HERE? [Jet] I-
[Sonic] I’m gonna kill you! (both yelling)
(cast laughing) [Blue] The fUck is happening? [Sonic] Jet, do you think I’ve been a dick to everybody? (wheezing, choked laughter) [Sonic] I need’ya to answer me, buddy, please! [Sonic] Please tell me I’m a good person. [Sonic] Please, deep down, just tell me I’m a good person. [Jet] (sigh) [Jet] Bitch… [Jet] You have been SO fuckin’ rude…. [Jet] To EVERYONE. [Jet] All the time. [Sonic] I have to go say I’m sorry! [Sonic] Right now. [Sonic] hUUh! [Jet] Ok bye!
[Sonic] Here I gOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [Sonic] Here I gOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (cast laughing) [Knuckles] Hey it’s Tails! [Tails] Yeah? Whassup, Knuckles? [Tails] Y’know, I’m just really broken up about- [Knuckles] I’M broken up, in my NECK. [Tails] Oh god… My body… Just a mess of limbs and goobledeegobs… [Knuckles] whhHOOOA! It’sssure is! [Tails] Anyway-
[Sonic] Hey Tails, you look really broken up right now and I know exactly why. [Sonic] Hey Tails, you look really broken up right now and I know exactly why. [Tails] Oh do you?
[Sonic] I’m SORRY. [Knuckles] Sonic- what? [Tails] What? [Tails] You’re sorry? For what? [Tails] Say it, motherfucker, you won’t. [Sonic] I’m sorry for being a stupid smelly little bitch! (some more laughter) [Wave] Oh no, where am I going? [Sonic] Okay?! I mean it! [Sonic] I really do. From the bottom of my heart- [Sonic] Hey, Wave. [Wave] Hello. [Wave] I am here to act as ze third party. I am Tails’ therapist. [Sonic] I can’t understand a word you’re saying but that’s okay ’cause we’re all hearts and minds together! [Tails] Sonic, I need you to understand- [Breen] Hey.
[Jet] Oh dear- (cast exclaiming in confusion and laughter)
[Chase] WELCOME TO CITY SEVENTEEN- [Chase] He’s here!
[Jet] Fuck it up, fuck it up- [Breen] What’s up? So yeah. ‘member how I said ‘Welcome to City 17’ and everything? [Jet] Fuck it up, fuck it up-
[Breen] What’s up? So yeah. ‘member how I said ‘Welcome to City 17′ and everything? [Breen] Yeah. So I may have, uh, created this whole universe. [Breen] Uhh, see, we came up with this thing called SEGA and- [Breen] (screaming and grunting) [Breen] Sorry, I was thinkin’ bout Sonic Forces. [Storm] Hoo… I don’t feel so good… [Storm] Why are all my limbs slack!? [Storm] Why can’t I move my eyes!? [Storm] Why can’t I move my mouth? Is this an internal dialogue?! [Storm] I can’t see the end of the horizon- [Storm] 𝙃𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙀 𝙈𝙄𝙆𝙐? 𝙄𝙎 𝙏𝙃𝘼𝙏 𝙔𝙊𝙐? [Storm] Have you fought back to come put me out of my misery?! [Storm] Please! [Storm] I don’t like feeling like a slack 3-dimensional model. [Miku] Hmm… you’re gonna have to beg a little bit harder than that, motherfucker! [Storm] (sobbing) Please! PleASE! [Storm] This is not the kind of existence I can keep going with- [Miku] What will YOU give ME?
[Storm] This is not the kind of existence I can keep going with- [Storm] I will give you the satisfaction of snuffing out another life. [Storm] Please, just this once-
[Miku] Mmmm, not sure if that’s enough. [Jet] What’s goin’ on over here, pals? [Jet] Is that fucking Hatsune Miku? [Jet] Are you asking for death from Hatsune Miku? [Miku] (brightly) YEP! [Jet] Me next, me next, me next! [Miku]
𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂𝓂 [Miku] mAYbe. [Storm] Certainly you feel this horrible diminished existence too, Jet. [Storm] I can’t be the only one who feels he is less than whole. [Storm] Please.
[Miku] What can YOU offer me? [Jet] I feel… Like, a ragdoll being manipulated. [Miku] Fuck, can’t imagine. [Red] WHAT the fuck is that? [Red] WHAT the fuck is that?
??? It’s a Strider! [♬ “Fist Bump” from Sonic Forces OST ♬]
[Miku] Hold on, lemme uh.. Lemme get that real quick. [Miku] URGH. DIE! DIE! DIE, motherfucker, DIE! [Miku] It’s not dying! [Strider] (̷̶̡̞̳͖̜͇̳͎̺͍ͨ̃͑̅̈́̅͌ͨͩ͛̌̑̇ͫ͋ͥ̓̀S̶͉̥̪̦̏ͨ̍ͤ̂͐̃ͮ̍̅̆̃͛̆̋͒͛ͮ̽͘͘ţͬͨͧ̓̓͂̐́ͬ̄̓ͨ̏͆͞͏̳͈̙̺͈̬͙͙̞̺̮̝͇̻̮̠̤͉̻r̒̈́̓͆̓͐̎͑҉̴͓̖͇͇̦̣͘i̧̳̜̗̹̣̜̣̭̘͚̅̒̎ͨ̉̑̆͑ͯͣ̑̒̔͘d̩̥͕̞͉͖̂ͨ̃̊̏̓̾ͭͬ͒̈̋͞͠ě̵̟͔̟̼͙͕͙͓̺̒͊ͣ͌̽͋ͩͬͦͦ̂̉̃͋͌ͦ͑͗̀͡͝ŗ̶̮̝͎͎̪̹͖̯̠̰̉ͭ̋͂̾͋̓ͮ́͢ͅ ̸̧̢͉̠̪̭̮͔̫̝̀́̀ͧ̀͗̇̃̓͌ͮ̈̉̏̏̂͡ͅNͪ͗̿ͦ̓ͨͩ͒̐̈̓͊̉ͦ̏͐̈̓̚͏̢̛͍̫̲͖̯̲͙̥̘̠̰̥͇̹͇̙̳̜͢͢ͅo̧̨͔͖̭͍͍̫͔̲̻ͥ̓̉̏͑͒́ị̡͔͇̜̉ͥ̒ͧͭ̎ͣ̓͡͠s̛̽͋̐͏̥̬͖̬̱̦̤͉ȩ̷̷̢̟͖̠̘̜͇̟̱̫͕̙̖͓͙͂͋ͫ̓͋̃̍̓̿͘s̺͈̖̳̗͍̮̙̬͕͎̖ͧ́ͦͫ̅̇͆ͦ͌͛͂̌̋̍̐ͪ́̕͜)̴̨̛̰̲̯͈͍̻̼̗̰̩̩̦̦̜̿͗ͬͪͧ̐ͦ̒͟ [Miku] Still not dying! [Miku] Okay one more- one more, I think, is gonna do it. [Strider] H̶̦̟͓̙̘̲̭͖̮̗̟́͐̐͆̇̎̒̉̚̚͜͝i̵̱̦͙͓͔̭̋̽̈́̇͐͆̎̀͌̀̾̿̚͠p̴̫̳̞̜̙̰̯̥̺̥̒̒̃̐͋͘͝p̷̨̨̢̱̮͉̱̘̰͚̝͊͌͋̈͒̀̿͝î̶̖̣̮̝͍̃t̴̨̖̖͔̝̜͓͙͇̂͘ͅy̵̫̹̝̖͎͎̯̤̤͉̗͇̭̫͒́̽͐̾̾ͅ ̴̞͈̲̳͓͔̘̆͛̇ͅh̵̖̻̺̘̦͑̏̍̈́̿̎̄͂͐̔̇̽̕͘͜o̷̤͖͈̩͙̖̯͖̮͍͈͎̝̔̀̾̇͗̿̾̒̄͒̕͘̚͘͜p̶̨̧̟͉̞͖̯̮̱̞̈́̈́̽́̉̍̄̂̏̍̊͝p̴͇͎̙͖̭̦̝̣̦̲͇̂̏̽̽͛̈́̀͐̌̑̔̅͜͠͠͝i̶̡̱̲͕͂̏̈́̓̀̆́̂͋̚͘ţ̴̡̣̲̲̤͎̲̜̳͊̈́̍͛̈́͒̓͌̑y̸͙̮͍̯͉̒̉͗̾̄͑̍̒̐̕,̷̠̥͙̪̎̈́̾͠ ̴̨̨̡̡͔̞̞̩̯͉̻͚̲͑̾̈́̈́̇̍͘͝͝g̵̛͉̉̎̑̉́́́͝e̶̟̩̤̞̩͈̲͂́ṫ̵̡̛͇̝̪̭̭͇̜̫̫̊̄͑́͑̎̕͠ ̶̧̨̨̪̦̙͓͔̍́̂̌ṯ̸̨̨̛̛͔̼̟̠͔͙̺̔̎̽͑̽̅̑̾͠ͅh̷͓̱̫̮̥̓̈́̚͝i̶̥̩̲͓̦̩̯̫̠̖͊̏̏̎̑̂̑̓́͘͠͝ͅş̷̨̱̺̙̟̠̞̘̝̹͚̖̎͆̿̆́̂́̇̈͋̈́̕͜ ̵̘̰̻͉̯̗͍̤̦̩̝͈̩͊͗̈́̊͆ͅw̷̧̨͕͓̣͚͚̫̖̯̰̞̟̑̓͆̏̍͑̅̈́̇̕a̷̡̲̮̘̭̖̩̪̬͇̤̿̍̔͐̽͒̊̃̽̚͜͝͠ͅỉ̴̫̼̗̜̯̠̩̲͚̳̫̣̝̘̥͑͌f̵̡̟̤͕͚̓̆̚u̶̡̙͙̪͇̥̹̻̥̝̼͐̆̏̒͂͒̋̀͜͝ ̷̝͔̪͓̘̯͚̄̑̊̓̃̎̈́͌͝o̷̖̥̠͔̟̞̝̘͚͍̻̠̮̠̯̿͌͗f̸̨̖̠͕̳̳̌͒̾͐̒̓̆̑̊͐̚f̶̢̛͖̯̼̣͎̯̼͙̜̝̜̮͈̄̑́ ̷͚͙̺͍̏̊͌̅͛̆̃͐͗̕͝m̸̢̛̻̗̤͉̖̼̳̹͙̞̩͓̫̒͆̾̈̅̈́̋͊̕͝y̷̝͒̏̅̂̀̋̔̈́͆͆ ̸̡̩̲̘̄̉̏͂̃̽̿͌̚͝ͅp̴͍̲̖͈̯̣̮͋͗̓̃̊r̵̺͉̯͇̐͐͌̕͝ǫ̶̨̜͙̤͖̤̐͑̅̓͌̓́̍p̷̥͖̲͚̖͛̒̐̀̃̀͑͐̉͂̏ẽ̷̹̝̠̹̤̣͋͑͊̃̄̾͊̀͌͜ȓ̸̞͋̓̄̓͘̕t̸͉͔͖̫̆͒͂̆̾̈́̄̾̓̆̕̚͝y̶̥͈͖̘̗̗̹̬͈͓͇̭̜̅́̈͒̋̿̑͌̿͝ [Sonic] Oh god, Hatsune Miku is DEAD! [Tails] Oh god… [Wave] No! Then who will make Minecraft 2!? [Tails] Oh no, here it comes! [Strider](̷̡̛͎̜̜͉̝͓̣͖̼̙̋̒̔͂̽S̸͖̻̩̥̙̣͎͇̰̪͌̀̏̌̽̍̍̀̂̄̔͛͘͜͠t̴̞͙̰̑̓̔͌̀̀͒̉͌́͗́r̵̜̻̬̝̀̾͊̀́́̀̚͝i̶̲͕͖̲̬͖̅̆̅̎͐̄̀͊̄̍̇̀͒͆͐d̴̽͐͗̂̀̐̾̓ͅé̴̙̹̻̙͙̼̞̗̞̾̐̂̿͋̔͝͠r̵̛̘̩̗̞̞͚̠͓̆̑͌̔̀̂̕͘̚͝ ̶̡̡̻͙̘̬͓̱̟̍b̴̘̲̖̫̯̯̜̰̳̐͌̏̈̔̾̋̀a̸̝̥͖̙̦̼̙̠̪̲̞̋̊̈́͒̿̉͋̍t̴̡̡̻̖̖̮̲͙͕̻̯̆t̴̨̙̱̙̥̺̻̠̻͕̞́̆̅̂̄̅̀̈́̂͛l̶̨̙̠͍̹̏̄͐͐ͅe̸̩̜̰̰̊̊̎͌̑ ̸̡̞̲̫̥̻͕̤̣̯̬̍̏̽̂̌̿͑̽̇ç̶̛̥͓̗̭̼̮̝̤͔͕̗̼̳͊̆́͋͑̂̋̚͘͜r̵̨̮̺̳̩̬͈̞͙̳͓̯̺̒̓͑̐̚y̷̧̛̗̠͍̲̙̲̠̮̭̣͌̊͝)̷̮̗̤̦̥̄̈́̎̓͋̌ [Knuckles] I’ll take care of this one! (fighting grunts and screams by everyone) [Wave] I am here- [Jet] Friendship kick! [Tails] Take that! [Sonic] When all of my friends are in need… [Sonic] I’ll deliver the finishing blow! [Sonic] We got the XBOX back! [Ryan] I don’t use the word “fucking stupid” loosely, [Miku] Remember meee…. [Miku] Hello? [Storm] After this experience, I don’t think I’ll ever be whole again. [Jet] Honestly? I feel pretty good about everything that happened in the hell dimension. [Jet] It’s- It’s not bad. We made friends! [Storm] A piece of me is forever soiled and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to experience again. [Jet] Wheeeeeeeeeee! [Amy] So this is why Imma write my thesis on why building your masculinity- [Tails] That sounds really interesting Amy. [Amy] I know. Building your masculinity based upon Adam Sandler’s comedy stylings is a recipe for toxicity [Amy] and will only lead to problems within the tech sector. [Amy] The XBOX, the GameCube 3, Eggman’s robots, and the Apple Watch were all symptoms of the same toxically masculine system [Tails] See Sonic? This is what happens.
[Amy] that led to Sonic’s problems. [Sonic] I understand now. I really do. [Tails] I’m really glad you figured out, ‘n changed your toxically masculine ways. [Tails] Now you can be a good boy, just like me. [Amy] And me! [Knuckles] What? (cast laughing again) [Red] What the fuck. [Miku] I’ll make sure… that… it doesn’t hurt anyone else ever again. [Miku] I’ll stay with it. On this island. On this planet. [Sonic] Is that Hatsune Miku? [Sonic] In the cl- oh you missed her. She was just here. [Amy] Wait a minute. [Amy] You guys met Hatsune Miku without me? [Sonic] Yeah, something like that. [Tails] It’s ok Amy, she wasn’t that cool. [Jet] NYEEEVROOOOM [Sonic] JET! [Sonic] I was just thinking about you!
[Jet] Hey there. [Jet] WOW! Do you wanna play some Mario Kart? [Sonic] Yeah, I do buddy. Yeah, I do. [Sonic] LET’S GO! [Jet] Wheeeeee!
[Tails] Ok, I’ll catch up with you later Sonic! [Tails] Ok, I’ll catch up with you later Sonic! [Sonic] Yeah!
[Tails] Ok, I’ll catch up with you later Sonic! [Jet] Nyoooooommmmm.
[Sonic] See you later guys! [Sonic] Sonic the Hedgehog is a good person now! [Amy] Who hasn’t learned a single fucking thing. [Jet] Horrayyy! [Sonic] YEAH! [♬ “Catch Me If You Can” (Zero Gravity version) by Runblebee ♬] ♬ No turning back we were born to dream ♬ ♬ In a world full of seeing what we never could reach ♬ ♬ Air time makes on a wind, I’d be ♬ ♬ Like life right by just a blur you see ♬ ♬ One mind, too wild, stuck in divinity ♬ ♬ Hawk tail, wing, claw — heaven sent a Jessy ♬ ♬ A speed rush tweak to a melancholy, victory ♬ ♬ Your chance don’t stand ♬ ♬ No one near my class of heat ♬ ♬ The rule of the wind is to never get beat ♬ ♬ Don’t hedge, don’t hog; you’re put to the test ♬ ♬ Like Jet, as hawk, I’ll rattle your nest ♬ ♬ I never come down, I’m high alone ♬ ♬ Bred from a genie with wings and throne ♬ ♬ Jet, fire hawk; the sky is me ♬ ♬ All for speed I was born to be ♬ ♬ Born to be! Born to be! ♬ ♬ Catch me if you can ♬ ♬ There’s no turnin’ back ♬ ♬ Reach, but never catch ♬ ♬ Catch me if you can ♬ ♬ You can’t fathom that ♬ ♬ Wonders you can have ♬ ♬ Catch me if you can ♬ ♬ Catch me if you can ♬ ♬ No turnin’ back, we were born to dream ♬ ♬ In a world full of seeing what we never could reach ♬ ♬ Air time makes on a wind, I’d be ♬ ♬ Like life right by just a blur you see ♬ ♬ One mind, too wild, stuck in divinity ♬ ♬ Hawk tail, wing, claw — heaven sent a Jessy ♬ ♬ A speed rush tweak to a melancholy, victory ♬ ♬ Your chance don’t stand ♬ ♬ Chaos in the emeralds, life is ephemeral ♬ ♬ Whatcha gonna do? Nothin’ is perpetual ♬ ♬ World domination, advanced technology ♬ ♬ Haven’t got the interest in that form of glory ♬ ♬ Put me in the air, and my speed will leave ♬ ♬ All in a shine like a miracle weave ♬ ♬ I just won’t stop; the treasure’s with me ♬ ♬ I said it before, I was born to be… ♬ ♬ Catch me if you can ♬ ♬ There’s no turnin’ back ♬ ♬ Reach but never catch ♬ ♬ Catch me if you can ♬ ♬ You can’t fathom that ♬ ♬ Wonders you can have ♬ ♬ Catch me if you can ♬ ♬ We are born to dream ♬ ♬ Nothing can’t be done ♬ ♬ Catch me if you can ♬ ♬ There’s no turning back ♬ ♬ Reach but never catch ♬ ♬ You can’t fathom that ♬ ♬ Wonders you can have ♬ ♬ Catch me ♬

Alicization Lycoris is the end of Sword Art Online Gameverse Timeline! | Gamerturk SAO


According to the SAO Author Reki Kawahara
and SAO Gameverse Lead Yousuke Futami, Sword Art Online Alicization Lycoris will be the
final game in the SAO Gameverse continuity. What does it mean? Well, it certainly doesn’t mean “No more SAO
games time to panic” or anything! Welcome everyone, it’s me Gamerturk and let’s
talk about the future of SAO Games in very vague terms because Alicization Lycoris is
not even out yet, let alone the 2 DLCs it will have. First off, context is necessary here, because
most people mistake the Sword Art Online Gameverse Timeline with SAO Games in general. On March 14th, during the 7 year celebrations
for the Gameverse, Yousuke Futami teased that the journey that started with Infinity Moment/Hollow
Fragment will be coming to an end with Alicization Lycoris coming out in May 2020. This was followed by Reki Kawahara, the author
of Sword Art Online and SAO Progressive, as well as other series like Accel World and
the Isolator, commenting about his sadness regarding the Gameverse timeline coming to
an end, also mentioning that he still hasn’t given up introducing Strea into the main canon,
which is… An interesting idea to say the least. But Reki Kawahara also seems to be in the
same confusion as many SAO Game fans are regarding what “Game timeline” actually is, sharing
his question as to why Accel World vs SAO is never mentioned during Gameverse talks. So, let’s clarify that bit first. There are plenty of SAO Games out there, Hollow
Fragment which is a remake of Infinity Moment with more content, Lost Song, Hollow Realization,
Fatal Bullet, Lycoris, Accel World vs SAO, Memory Defrag, Integral Factor, Rising Steel
aka Blading and many many more, including many more that never came to the west before
being decomissioned. But the SAO Gameverse only consists of the
continuity that is Hollow Fragment, Lost Song, Hollow Realization, Fatal Bullet and Alicization
Lycoris. Accel World vs SAO is a standalone game that
borrows the Gameverse establishment to tell its non-canon story, and games like Memory
Defrag, Integral Factor, Rising Steel are completely their own canons and do not belong
to the Gameverse. So, what Yousuke Futami means is that the
overarching story that started with Hollow Fragment, continued for 3 other games, and
is ending with the 5th game that is Sword Art Online Alicization Lycoris. This in no way means that we’ll never get
more SAO Games in the future. But also, it may not necessarily mean that
Gameverse is actually coming to an end, looking back at the trends in gaming, as well as SAO
as a series. Let’s start with the former, since it is the
most obvious conclusion. Lycoris will end up being the final game in
the SAO Games timeline and wrap it up completely, never to be continued. Well, even during the course of the SAO Gameverse,
we received a full fledged console game that wasn’t part of the SAO Gameverse, Accel World
vs SAO, so that’s a clear example of what can be done. Standalone games and stories that don’t directly
tie into the SAO Gameverse, but are still proper full fledged games. Think of an Aincrad game for example, a game
that is adapting Sword Art Online Progressive, similar to Integral Factor but no Gacha bullshit,
a proper Console/PC game with depth to it! Or simply other original ideas that don’t
necessarily take place in the Gameverse, a Sword Art Online: ALO Wars let’s say, portraying
a game that takes advantage of the sheer PvP nature of ALO and its races fighting for domination
and eventually ascending the Tree of Life. Remember, this is completely non-canon to
both the Main Continuity and the SAO Games continuity so you can easily bend and twist
plot elements to suit your needs. This is the most likely option for the future
of SAO Games, I mean, Mobile Games keep doing it, with Integral Factor and Rising Steel
being their own stories with their own rules, I would not be surprised if Bandai Namco adopts
this form of games for the age after Lycoris. The next 2 possibilities come with quite a
lot of wild brainstorming, which is why I would like to emphasize that these are merely
“possibilities of what can be done in the future” and nothing concrete really. Second option comes in the form of being a
bit skeptical about the chosen words. Lycoris may be the end of the Gameverse Timeline,
but that doesn’t mean there can’t be more games that properly takes place within the
Gameverse, before the events of Lycoris. If you think of the timeline, yeah, Lycoris
may be at the end of the timeline, but nothing limits the creation of more stories between
the start and end. What immediately comes to mind in this possibility
is for example an Ordinal Scale game for the Gameverse. We know the events of Ordinal Scale took place
within the Gameverse already as explicitly stated in Sword Art Online Fatal Bullet DLC4,
Dissonance of the Nexus, however this was never portrayed as a game. Another example would be a game that takes
place prior to the events of Lost Song. Strea Ending of Hollow Fragment had already
implied that the crew would migrate to ALO and Lost Song takes place a while after the
crew established themselves in ALO, when the new expansion Svart ALfheim is unlocked for
the players. So a possibility here would be the adventures
of the crew who had just started playing ALfheim Online. Sure, the character selection would be quite
limited compared to the latter games, as the likes of Rain, Seven, Premiere, Tia, Fatal
Bullet cast etc are not yet introduced at that point in time, but that gives all the
more reason to give more screentime to other characters! Mabe more focus on Lux, maybe an event with
a Kohiruimaki Karen during her “exploration” phase of the VR worlds, going absolutely crazy
at her given avatar, maybe the inclusion of Fukaziroh, since she is a renowned ALO player
and so on. All in all, the phrase “End of the Timeline”
does not have to exactly mean “the End of more Gameverse stories”. To illustrate the circumstances better, Floor
75 was the end of the Aincrad Timeline in the main canon, it was literally “the end”. Nothing stopped Reki from writing more side
stories that took place in Aincrad, and it certainly didn’t stop him from taking up Sword
Art Online Progressive, a floor by floor retelling of Aincrad in great detail. The third option, which may sound very unlikely
at first, but soon makes you realize its not all that unlikely at all, mainly stems from
how often we underestimate… Well, for the lack of a better word, “Publisher
Greed”. Did you know Sword Art Online Alicization
was supposed to be the very end of Sword Art Online as a series? That was Reki Kawahara’s intention, his Web
Novels, the original draft of the story, had concluded with Alicization. Even moreso, the official Alicization Light
Novel release literally ends with a poem that signals the end of “the tale”. It’s not as explicit, because probably, at
this point it was already decided that the story would continue for yet another arc,
possibly in an attempt to tie it into Accel World, which deserves its own separate video,
but when something is told to be the end, you shouldn’t be surprised when it turns up
not to be the end. Even when the creators original vision aimed
for the story to end, things can change with some persuation effort from the publishers. So, when we are told “Alicization Lycoris
will be the end of SAO Gameverse”, take it with a grain of salt. SAO Gameverse is a major moneymaker for Bandai
Namco and you definitely should not be surprised if the timeline is continued later down the
line, whether with original games, or a possible Unital Ring game. But yeah, that is all I got for you today! Just wanted to inform you on the facts we
got and the possibilities that await us in the future! If you made it this far, what’s your take
on the news and what would you prefer? A clean slate SAO Game after Lycoris, a game
that takes place in the timeline to fill the blanks or a game that takes place in the future
of the timeline, whether original concept or Unital Ring? Do let me know in the comments! If you enjoyed the video, likes are always
appreciated, if you want more content on Sword Art Online, make sure to subscribe and hit
the bell icon, a staggering 86% of you are not even subscribed, you are missing out on
all the good stuff and my quality shitposting! Also, check out LLENN Squad Merch, illustrated
by the amazing Jeng Kay! I got one, it’s great! Go get it! If you are a Patron or Channel Member, you
even get a 5$ discount code in your respective community feed! As always though, thank you for watching and
a special thanks to all Patrons and Channel Members especially during this month where
Im demonetized! I’ll see you in the next one, until then,
Stay Cool~

Fun At Literature Club – Game Grumps Animated  – by Sherbies


Who could look at this title screen and not be like
“I’m having a good time already” ? *Game Grumps theme glitching out* *happy upbeat music* FriendArin, I know how fed up you are with these two by now, but you can just- Natsuki, shut your fucking mouth *stifling laughter* and let him decide for himself. You shut your mouth! Jesus Christ. This is never going to end, just make the choice. Okay? Ah, well, I am NOT doing that-
Ohhhhhh my God woah d-
Oh God ah it’s going back to Monika Does it, does it automatically-
Every time it’s going back to Monika. D-uhhhh
WAHHH OH BOY
I picked Yuri! Ohhhh boy
Ahhhhdiduhhh
okay uh Monika then
Yeah, sure.
Perhaps Monika YAAAAYYY *Danny clapping and laughing* *contagious laughter* Arin: Yay, you-
Danny: Dan Salvato, you sick son of a bitch! You picked me 🙂 Just stop talking to Yuri. Play with me instead.
It’s all I have. Play with me. PLAY WITH ME! AAHHHH
Ohhh shhiit WHAT the FUCK WHAT the fuuuucck You’ve unlocked a special poem Would you like to read it? NOOOO THANK YOU Alright I’ll read it
Ohhh boy Danny: I hate this game Tell me FriendArin, tell me you want to be my lover.
Do you accept my confession? Oh boy
Uhhhhhhh
Oh boy Uhhhhhhh
She’s fucked if you say yes. No. *Danny laughing like a psychotic robot*
HAHAHAHAHA HAHAhahaaaa Ahawalhwahahaha Uhahaha Oh boy. Uh oh- Oh.
OHH MY GOD
ohhhhhhkay Ohhh PLEASE
Uhhhhh
Don’t maybe Yeah- maybe don’t do that. Yeah, that’s uhhh That’s a bad time.
Ohhhhhhh Ohhh NO That’s a bad time- oooo.
Oh god. It’s Clifford the Big Red stab wound *laughing in unison* What the fuuuck.. is happeniiinnng? We’re having a fun time. DOODO DI DOODILOOTDO DOOT DO-hahaha…


So this is the king fish string figure. It’s
really just a three diamond Jacob’s ladder. It’s a medium difficulty string figure so
it’s got a few little tricky bits in there but if you follow along and practice I think
you should be able to get it. It requires a medium loop of string so go grab your loop
of string and try and follow along. To do this string figure I just want to start with
the loop of string across my palms and then I wan to pick up the palm strings with my
pointer fingers and do opening A. Then on my right hand I just want to drop my pointer
finger and on my left hand I just want to curl my pointer finger over that string in
between the pointer finger strings and then drop my little finger and my thumb and pull
that all the way through to the other side then on my left hand I just want to put my
thumb and little finger back into that loop from underneath. So it looks like the starting
position and that’s what my other hand should look like and then with my left hand pointer
finger from above I want to collect that palm string and twist it towards me so I do that
by collecting it from above, point to yourself and then point up to the ceiling and then
that should put a twist in that string. It should look like this. Now this is the tricky
bit of the string figure. I’ll just show you what the tricky bit looks like and then I
will try and explain it. So it looks like this. Now to do it I want to get my pointer
finger and I want to put it into my thumb loop from above and push away the far thumb
string and then from above I want to go into the little finger loop and pull towards me
the near little finger string and the I just want to rotate my finger and lift up and I
want that string to be sort of near the top of my pointer finger. I will give you one
more look at what that looks like. That’s the first tricky bit done. Now there’s another
little tricky bit now you should see on this side there’s this straight string here, I
want you to get your little finger and curl over it and pull it down and then on this
side there’s the far pointer finger string. I want you to curl your little finger over
the far pointer string and then bring it down so that your little finger string falls off.
Now rotate your hands forwards and then drop your thumbs and the three diamond Jacob’s
ladder should appear. Or the kingfish string figure.

GTA Online Guide – How to Make Money with Smuggler’s Run


Thanks to all for getting back at us for a new episode of GTA Series Videos Tips & Tricks You already know, I’m Gary7 MT for the GTA Series Videos crew – but if you didn’t, now you do! This time we’re peeping out the new business opportunity introduced in “Smuggler’s Run” and drop everything you need to know about costs, time, profits and whatever else you didn’t think you wanted to know yet. But do! So let’s get straightly to it! Like all other businesses, with “Smuggler’s Run” you will only be able to “buy-and-sell” in public sessions – unless you find some way to play on the down low. This business follows the same structure of the businesses added in Finance & Felony and Import/Export. To sell a product you have to steal it, so your presence and active participation is necessary to get paid. First things first, what’s the best Hangar to buy? Its ain’t like there’s a wide selection: two are located at the Los Santos International Airport and three at Fort Zancudo. The cheapest are at LSIA while the hangars at Fort Zancudo grant players a low-level clearance to the Fort – in other words the ability to enter and fly over and inside Fort Zancudo without gaining a 4-star wanted level. Thanks to that, the three hangars located in the Fort are the most appealing, but whichever you choose, be ready to face some hard competition. Hangars do not offer any kind of upgrades, staff to pay, etc. Buy the place, decorate it, add a workshop if you want and it’s done. Once inside you can change the position of your planes. You can park a “Pegasus vehicle” changing its status to Personal Aircraft – that can later be called from the interaction menu – or customize your fleet with upgrades, colors and more. To begin smuggling in San Andreas you need to complete a setup mission, which always involves stealing a Mogul from some bikers; once the caper’s done, you can start making money. Sourcing is the main aspect and focus of this new business. Under the office there’s enough space to store up to 50 crates of goods like, Narcotics, Chemicals, Medical Supplies, Animal Materials, Art & Antiques, Jewelry & Gemstones, Tobacco & Alcohol and Counterfeit Goods. Each individual crate can be sold for $10,000 – fully stocked its worth hits a cool $500,000 – but that’s not all – even more cash can be raised thanks to a bonus we’ll get into later. These missions are crucial for players who wanna buy new aircraft – because completing them, unlocks discount prices – something that in both Import/Export and Gunrunning was tied to a specific, and fun to play, group of missions. In “Smuggler’s Run” instead, after the 3rd, 6th, 9th, 12th, 15th, 18th and 21st source missions, you unlock the trade prices for the Ultralight, Rogue, Alpha-Z1, Havok, LF-22 Starling, V-65 Molotok and Tula. But that’s not all, the Bombushka, Howard, Mogul, Pyro, Seabreeze, Nokota and Hunter all have their trade prices as well, that unlock after missions 24, 27, 30, 33, 36, 39 and 42 are complete. Like any other business, you need to become a VIP, CEO or MC leader – that last one is not recommended for your health. That’s because first, spawning an armed Buzzard is more useful than any bike can ever be. Second, the most you’ll be able to collect in a single mission is 4 crates – even if you have a full 8-member MC club active. The reason for this is to stop players from filling and then selling out full Hangars in less than an hour. To start a mission, in the new office turn on the PC and choose the material you want to source. Every mission has a 20-minute time limit. If you’re not able to complete all objectives and bring the crate to the hangar in the time allotted, the mission fails. If in the case of doing the mission with a friend – he manages to get his crate inside the Hangar before time is up, his will be valid and marked as collected – even if you don’t get yours back – the mission is passed. Once a sourcing mission has ended, you can immediately start a new one, unless you are interested in collecting the same material. In the event you do want to stick to the same product, you’ll have to wait. How long you wait depends on what kind of product you want: a four minute cooldown for Narcotics, Chemicals and Medical Supplies, three for Animal Materials, Art and Jewelry and two for all remaining categories – you also have to add an additional minute for every crate collected by one of your associates. There are various missions to play when collecting goods. Most of these require reaching an area, killing up a shitload of enemies and retrieving the cargo dropped by murdered goons, tucked inside fake crates that must be destroyed, or already in other aircraft that you need to jack and take back to your own hangar. With the exception of the selling missions, you can destroy any given aircraft containing the crates, collect the goods on foot and use the vehicle you like the most to fly back to the Hangar. Moreover, while we talking about destroying aircraft, if these are marked on the map with a white icon, you can simply ignore them and use a different aircraft, while instead a colored icon indicates that using – or at least getting aboard – that aircraft is necessary. But let’s get back to missions. The simplest one requires reaching a Maverick crash site and finding and collecting the lost crate. Most of these missions are designed to use the abilities of the new aircraft, like dogfighting enemies in Lazers using the new Molotok and Nokota. One of the best missions involves the use of the Tula and killing a group of scavengers in order to retrieve crates lost at sea. Other lit ones are where you silently attack enemies from the Air Ambulance or parachute in for mass stealth-killings of your enemy – then grab the crates. The most common missions unfortunately are, longer and more boring. The first example is the one created for the Hunter – an attack helicopter returning from the 3D era. In these missions, all you have to do is destroy an indefinite number of scramblers around Los Santos and Blaine County to reveal the location of a Brickade, destroy it to retrieve its cargo and take it back to the Hangar. The same can be said for the Seabreeze, a new, faster plane able to land and take off on water, used for a long mission centered on bombing Tugs and Trash Trucks to retrieve their hidden cargo. Just like for the mission on the Rogue where you have to carpet-bomb roofs filled with enemies just to find out where a couple of Buzzards with cargo are. The last example is the mission featuring the Mogul. Here we have to defend a Titan from armed Buzzards for almost twelve minutes flying continuously in circles waiting for the next fleet of enemies to spawn. All these missions can be played alone and the ones which involve destroying stuff, are undoubtedly better played as such because there will always be fewer and fewer things to bomb before you find the merchandise. Not for nothing, but the design of the new aircraft and missions require at least one friend who can man the aircraft’s secondary weapons. This makes the missions hella’ easier. But its also possible to collect cargo without dealing with missions at all. Like vehicles from Import/Export, you can destroy or steal other players’ crates. The first option – also known as the “that-motherfucka-method” – awards players who destroy other player’s crates only $2,000. The second option instead – just stealing it – adds an extra crate to your stock only available when an enemy player is on his own source mission. During an enemy’s selling mission, his cargo can’t be ripped off, only destroyed. But don’t forget – the same goes for you! Incorrectly, the game informs you that by destroying or stealing other people’s cargo, your stock will increase – now this is true if you put the stolen crate in your Hangar – because you’re gonna have one more crate, that’s the value increased, not if you destroy other people’s cargo. It doesn’t matter if your stock’s full or if you only have one crate, you can still start a selling mission. But, it’s important to understand, this one is different from all other updates in that inspite of how much stock you’re selling, you can still find yourself with several aircraft to manage at once, even if you’re selling a single crate. Avoid selling alone in a public session, without a friend, or two (or more) to watch your back and your crates because you might end up getting hit and having all your profits blown to hell. In a selling test we did with a full stock of Chemical materials, we missed a single drop out of fifteen and for that, we lost almost half of our profit. You can choose to fill your Hangar with crates of the same type or get random and take a bit of this and that – but if you’re aiming for maximum profit, always source the same material of one of the first three types. That’s because if you collect at least 25 crates of Narcotics, Chemicals or Medical Supplies, the value of your entire stock gets a 35% bump. If you fill up your Hangar with one those materials, a 70% bonus is unlocked. You get 12% per every 10 crates of Animal Materials, Art & Antiques and Jewelry & Gemstones – – giving you a maximum profit of $800,000 for a full stock of a single material. The remaining two categories, Tobacco & Alcohol and Counterfeit Goods instead only get a 5% boost and that’s for every five crates, for a max price of $750,000. As always, the “High Demand” bonus is active. We’re talking about a positive bonus of 1% more for each enemy player in the lobby at the moment of the sell. However, to balance it all out, Rockstar Games also added a negative bonus. For every sell completed, Ron will get a 2.5% cut from your profit. That means $250 for a single crate goes to $21,250 for the full stock of prime product sold. Damn! Like sourcing, selling missions also center on the new aircraft added with Smuggler’s Run – and even here the cooldown between two selling missions, no matter how many crates – is just a paltry three minutes. One mission that calls for 2 players – literally it won’t even start if you’re alone – is focused on a new cargo plane, the RM-10 Bombushka. Thing is, with the Bombuska, you have to fly low to drop crates to buyers. Meanwhile your friends have to arm the machine guns in case they have to end any fools trying to attack in a Buzzard. In another mission you fly Ultralights under a height limit – to avoid activating the “Global Signal”. That’s a becon that broadcasts your position on a map to all the other players in the session. Nothing’ a G wants. But there are also classic missions that require simply flying towards checkpoints using an Alpha Z-1, or dropping cargo in a designated area from a Seabreeze. Still in others you only use a Skylift to bring a container aboard a cargo ship. There are two different missions where helicopters are used. In one, the Cargobob is utilized, while in the other – the Havok. Each requires multiple deliveries for each player. What this means is that more than one helicopter for a single player is needed if you use the Havok – there will be from two to eight Havoks depending on how many players you have and how much cargo you’re selling. In the mission involving the Cargobob, each player needs to get aboard a Cargobob, lift up a small cargo container and deliver it to a specific place. This process must be repeated at least once. One odd thing we noticed about selling missions, is the number of aircraft the game gives you. With the exception of one selling mission involving four players and eight Havoks, all the missions we played gave us two to three aircraft – even if our team had four players. And like we already said, you could fuck around and end up with three aircrafts to manage during a selling mission – even if you’re playing alone and just selling a few crates. To maximize profits and blow up those paydays, you know you have to fill your hangar with Narcotics, Chemicals or Medical Supplies. Remember, this is so you can sell your full stock for $850,000. Considering missions can’t take more than 20 minutes – but that most of them can be done in 10, you’ll be able to have a full stock in two and half to a maximum of four and half hours while playing with a team of four. Instead, if you play alone, collecting 50 crates could take up to 18 hours. So, let’s move on to what all G’s are in it for, the math! Here we breakdown costs, profits and more. The least expensive setup for a hangar is $1,200,000, while the most expensive rockets up to $5,670,000, but that’s all. You don’t have to spend money on anything else to run this business – there are no upgrades, fees to pay for having info about the crates or such. Your hangar is even perfectly protected and cannot be raided. To recover the cost of the cheaper hangar, and make a profit of half a million, all you have to do is sell two full stocks of prime materials. But you’ll need to sell seven to get the top one and profit by $280Ks. Both are definitely doable because in the first scenario, even playing alone, in less than 40 hours you’ll be able to record a profit, while in the second scenario you’ll be able to make a profit in less than a single week. So, it’s definitely easy to break-even in Smuggler’s Run in less than ten hours of abusing your friends’ patience, you can cover all the expenses necessary to start and run your own filthy business. If you’re able to isolate yourself and your friends while selling, you’ll be able to put some serious money in the bank. Still, the Bikers and Gunrunning businesses are better because they keep making money even if you’re focused on something else – and even if you buy supplies, your profit will be nice. The real problem of “Smuggler’s Run” is not its content, but what came before: over a year of updates that followed the same logic and structure. Also dragging it down are the repetitive and long missions, the removal of co-op missions and the fact that you’re still being forced to do everything in public lobbies full of motherfuckers with just one thing in mind: screwing you – surely this isn’t helping the way players are starting to see GTA Online. And that ends this Tips and Tricks episode. Leave a comment and tell us what you thought about “Smuggler’s Run”. If you want to chat with us and other players or find someone to play GTA Online with, join us in our Official Discord Server or follow our social media accounts on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. That’s all, from the GTA Series Videos crew and yours truly, G7MT. See you next time.

DON’T TRUST THIS GAME | Doki Doki Literature Club – Part 1


*Wapoosh* Top of the morning to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome to a game called “Doki Doki Literature Club.” Which – Okay – *scoffs* There’s gonna be a few disclaimers about this game before I start. A lot of you have been suggesting that I play this game and when I saw it first, I thought – I kind of rolled my eyes at it – I saw it on Steam when it came out. And I rolled my eyes at it cuz’ I thought it was just a Japanese, schoolgirl, visual novel, dating game kind of thing. And it didn’t seem like anything that I’d be interested in, But everybody on the reviews – this is a 10 out of 10 on Steam – and everybody in the reviews were saying, “Don’t read anything else about the game, just play it for yourselves.” So that already had my intrigue and then when I started up the game it gave me a bunch of disclaimers that said, “You need to be at least 13 years old to be able to play this game.” I had to agree to a consent; And then it said, “Warning: If you suffer from anxiety or depression, you might not find some of the stuff in this game appropriate.” SO I need to say that outright as well and then it gave, like, a link to… like, a disclaimer page for warnings for this game so I have no idea what this is. Apparently it gets very weird very quickly and a lot of people have been suggesting it to me, so there has to be something to it? That – Again, cause if you’re like me and you rolled your eyes at it first, It might be completely different from what we’re expecting, so Let’s give it a chance and give it a shot and see what it’s actually like. Um, I-I literally have no idea what to expect from this *reads dialogue* *reads dialogue* Awe, look at her! *chuckles* So fuckin’ anime. *reads dialogue* Actually I probably won’t be able to do voices for this cuz’ it’s all girls and that high pitched voice is gonna blow out my throat really quickly. “But I caught you this time!” Oh yeah. My name is Jack *laughs* Okay. I guess that works. I wanted to put in Jack cause I wanted the characters to call me Jack. *laughs* My waifus. *reads dialogue* *reads dialogue* *Reads dialogue* Whatever you Say-ori! *kawai girl laugh* *Reads dialogue* Have you not deci- *corrects himself* Have you decided on a club to join yet? A club? Maybe Doki Doki Literature club *Reads dialogue* What’s a NEET? (a young person who is “Not in Education, Employment, or Training”) I look around and realise I’m not *corrects himself* that I’m the only left in the classroom Going through these classrooms always reminds me of playing ‘White Day’ Um… ‘White Day,’ A labyrinth named school! It’s a Korean… Um… Korean horror game that I played ages ago Um… I-It was a bit all over the place, but these classrooms- -the- -the Japanese and Korean- Like classroom styles and building architectures and everything are very similar So, it always reminds me of that. *Continues reading dialogue* Girl 1! Oh god there’s too many of them… I already forgot the voice I gave you! She looks like Kyu from… Huniepop Oh, that- Oh, this is Sayori! OH! I’m gettin’ all confused THERE’S SO MANY CHARACTERS! *Inhale* CUTE GIRLS! I mean, uh- Sorry… *Chuckles* Mutterings… *Continues dialogue* *Clears throat* *Strange noises* All these, uh- Cute girls, uh- *Continues dialogue* Smells great… Nice hair… *Continues dialogue and gets back on track* I have no idea what voices to give these girls *Kitty Jack pose* You look like you have- Like kitty teeth MEOW~ *Continues dialogue* That’s always the case CUPCAKES Are not designed very well It’s not like some baking engineer went out and made cupcakes The most prime candidate for icing sugar…treat ‘Cause if any of you try to bite into, like a proper cupcake, You have to get icing everywhere Maybe that’s the point… *Continues dialogue* I mean- *Talks with mouth full* This is really good *Continues Dialogue* What? *Continues Dialogue* WHOOP THE MUSIC! *Dances* *Continues Dialogue* you’re not the Yuri I know The Yuri I know is in Girls Generation Kwon Yu-ri AHHM- FAKE YURI!!! Little weird Her ‘Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson’ impression is getting better though SHIT!!! She’s onto me Immediately Can she read my thoughts? ‘The Shining’ I heard it was called By Steven King AH! Monika comes back in to do her ‘Rock’ impression After hearing me- Actually, after listening to me think about it *Jack about to say ‘What?’ out loud but doesn’t* *Also Jack, you ARE adorable. Right, guys?* *Jack chuckles* *BURP* Or as in Anime they would say, “Oh, oh. Nani?” When all of their cute smiles, And pretty hair, And lovely eyes Stare back at me! DEJECTED! *Jack holds himself* H-hey, you’re choking me Yeeeeaaaaahhhh Heh One of these names is not like the other~ Perhaps, I can even make Da Waifu! See, this is what i expected this game to be Just this like, FOREVER! But apparently it gets much different Apparently, it starts off like this And it’s supposed to make you think that’s it’s all this And then it takes a sharp turn And I don’t know what sharp turn that’s gonna take pretty quickly But the fact that it said, “You’re not gonna be happy if you suffer anxiety and depression” Makes me think that ahh- Their poems are gonna open up a bit about who they actually are. ALRIGHT! Ohhh… So who are we thinking? Who do we like most so far? I don’t like Natsuki cause Her-she seems a little hotheaded And her attitude towards me was a little- A little sharp Sayori is my best friend Kind of but she cute Monika *smack his lips* Feel like Monika is a little too out of my league She’s a bit too, uh…official Since she’s the president I think Yuri is my heart’s desire for now umm I forget what she’s into *Jack laughs* Okay..what should we write about? “Pain!” Ah, hahum “Massacre!” Let’s write a horror! Wait, are these girls bouncing based on what I’m picking? …Oh, you’re just bouncing anyways.. Ummmmm “Raincloud.” Oh, they do bounce based on what I’m clicking! Ummm “Philosophy?” Ahh! So I’m trying to pick the ones that Yuri likes. I like Yuri. “HORROR!” “Melancholy.” Okay. Sayori jumped a little for that one, but I don’t know if it’s just a natural jump. Uhhhh, “tragedy!” Sayori, you like “tragedy?” Ummm… “Boop?” *laughs* “Misfortune.” Shit! “Dazzle?” Ah, shit. “Infinite, fester, eternity!” Yeah, there we go. “Misfortune,” shit! “Effulgent.” I don’t even know what that is, “disown.” Okay, so you like the dark stuff, (Yuri) You like a middle ground, (Sayori) You like the cute stuff. (Natsuki) I can’t even impress Monika! She’s not even here! Ummm “Destiny?” “Wrath.” “Unrestrained?” I’m picking all the good ones! For Yuri. I have to pick twenty?! God Almightly. “Graveyard.” Ummmm “Hurt?” Okay. *laughs* You like that one. Uhhh, inf- -alliblllllle “DEATH.” wHAT!?! Sayori, you like “death?” Ummm, ‘kay, two more… “Insight.” Nice, and “misery.” Crap! Okay, last one! Last one, last one. “Determination!”

Old Video Games: Tonya Harding Skating, GoodFellas: The Game


-This is really exciting. I was home recently
at my parents’ house digging through the garage,
and I found the first video-game system I ever owned. I don’t know if you guys
remember the Jorbus. The Jorbus was made by
now-out-of-business department store
Montgomery Ward. Just a fantastic system. And ever since I dug it up,
I’ve been playing it nonstop. A lot of Jorbus games
were ahead of their time. Let’s take a look
at some of them now in a segment we call
“Old Video Games.” [ Cheers and applause ] Oh, boy. Oh, the hours I spent
with this one right here. The old “Tonya Harding Skating.” It was such a fun — In this game, you are
a world-class figure skater who’s competing
against Tonya Harding, and the goal of the game was to complete
a figure-skating routine while avoiding
Tonya Harding’s goons who would come after you. And you sort of hit “A”
to jump over ’em. And then you hit “B,” you know, to get low
and then do a little duck. And then the final boss was, of
course, Tonya Harding herself, and she would just
sort of chase you, and you’d have to just tap
the buttons to go as fast as you could,
and then eventually, she would trip on her shoelaces
right there. There you go.
And that is, uh — That was it. That’s how you won.
It was fun. It was fun. [ Applause ] The next game was inspired by
the Chernobyl disaster of 1986. [ Laughter ] Okay. It was “Chernobyl: The Game.” And what it did was it took
place after the catastrophe. You played as a Soviet official,
and your goal was to eat up all the paperwork
that would show evidence of governmental wrongdoing. So let’s just take a look
at the gameplay. So, there you are.
You’re this government head. And you’re eating up
the paperwork, and those are — Those are reporters, and they’re
trying to get ahold of you. And then, uh, you would just
eat this radioactive pill. And then — There you go.
You just eat them all up. And then you would win,
and this would happen. -Victory! [ Applause ] -So much fun. Jorbus. By far, my favorite game
growing up was “Fitted Sheet: The Game.” [ Laughter ] In “Fitted Sheet: The Game,”
you played as a single man struggling to put
a fitted sheet on a bed. So much fun.
Just check it out right here. So, you got your fitted sheet,
and it looks super-easy. And you think, “All I got to do is put it on this corner
right there. All right. Almost done. Then I’m gonna go —
Oh, no! Oh, no!” Then you just go down.
You go like, “I got this. Super easy.” And then that one. Then eventually
you’d just give up, and you would sleep
on a box spring. -You lose! -The next game was called
“Goodfellas: The Game,” which was based on the Martin
Scorsese film “Goodfellas.” People were excited when
they bought it ’cause you assume that it would have some
of the exciting mafia scenes from the film,
but it actually took place entirely in a restaurant. You played as Henry Hill
out on a date with his goomah, but it turns out his wife,
Karen, is in the restaurant. And when Karen sees you, you have to sneak out
without getting caught. -Henry!
-So, she sees you, and then she comes over,
and you got to run around, and maybe you get lucky, and there’s, like, a dessert
tray that you hide behind. And — Oh, now she’s
coming the other way. -Henry!
-You hide behind a tree or a little bush,
whatever that it is. And then, oh,
there’s some cocaine, and that would be helpful ’cause
you would get the cocaine, and then you’d get out of there. And it was awesome
because it was really cool. [ Applause ] The game came
with this bag of fake cocaine, and it was fun for kids ’cause
it was made with Pixy Stix and a little bit of cocaine. So… The last one —
a Jorbus classic. “Bobby Knight Basketball.” In this game,
you play as legendary Indiana Hoosiers
basketball coach Bobby Knight who had famously
had a bad temper. There was no actual basketball
in this game. Instead, you would just throw
chairs at the opposing team in an effort
to get them off the court, and then after
you vanquish the team, of course,
the cops would show up. Oh, no, sorry.
The referees would show up. Obviously, I’ve tipped
what’s happening next… -Eat chair! -…which is
the police officers. There you go. Rule of threes. Now we get rid of those guys.
-Take that chair! -And then the really fun thing
is in a tie-in with the stories of the day. Saddam Hussein
was the last boss. And that would be a case where
you would root for Bobby Knight. -Eat chair!
-And it was so much fun. What a fun game. Give it up
for the Jorbus, everybody.

The Grump Variations – Game Grumps Animated


Arin: Go! Arin and Dan: (singing along) Dodododododododododododododododododo- Danny: AaAaAaAaAaAgH! *Godamn it, Ross* Arin: (Laughter) Dan: (giggles) Arin: Fuckin learn to play, alright? Dan: “Learn to play,” how dare you. Let me try it again. Arin: Alright, cool. *sum nice totally accurate piano tunes* Arin: Nice… *sum more super precise piano tunes* Arin: Look at you! *piano skills over 9000* (wtf??) *Danny is a piano god* Arin: How are your reflexes so FAST? *awww yissssssss* Arin: Watch this… *aw fuk yea arin got a bass* Arin: Here we go. *music.exe is now running* Arin: Yeah, I got some action in! *music intesifies* Arin: Dude, we’re amazing! Dan: Yeah, that’s a word for it… *welp*
*one bass string snapped* Dan: Wow. Arin: Sorry… Dan: (wheeze-chuckle) Dan: Just relax… Arin: Yea..? Dan: Let it come to you, it’s easy. Arin: Really? Dan: (smol chuckle) *fuk yea more tunley toons* Arin: Oh, check this shit out… *Addition of cello intensifies music* Proud Dan: Look at you! *hell yeah* Arin: SEE THAT?
Dan: 😀 *good ass piano with a side of twinkles* Dan: Arin.. Arin: I’m twinklin, I’m twinklin! Dan: You’re twinklin back there I see you… *AW YISS* *Arin plays a new (?) bass again* Dan: Arin… Arin: WHAT? Dan: (giggles) Arin: I’m going for a walk! Dan: Oh my god. Dan: Check it out. *Additional clarinet further maintains masterpiece* Arin: Dude! Dan: Dude. Arin: You played that CRAZY! Dan: Thank you brutha~ *Furiously plays keyboard effectively setting hands on fire* *Enter Arin’s obnoxious trombone* Dan: Arin. *Arin and his friggin trombone feature* Dan: This is NOT cool, this is the opposite of cool! Arin: (mischievous giggling) Dan: I mean, my God, Arin. *Dan getting annoyed by slight increase in trombone playing* Dan: You’re a fucking dumpster fire. 😀 Dan: Oh boy… Arin: Yeah, ya see that? Dan: It’s y-yeah. Arin: It’s fucking skill, dude. Dan: Very nice. Arin: It’s very well executed on my part~ Dan: One of us is doing pretty good. Arin: Oh, looks like I’m not even gonna need to play! Dan: You know what? Here, it’s over to you. Arin: (giggles nervously) Dan: Arin’s playing now. Check this out, you’re gonna love it. *OH SHIT!*
*Arin is playing the song so wrong, yet it sounds right in… some spots* Arin: FUCK!!! Dan: (giggles) Arin: I hit it at exactly the right time! Dan: You didn’t. Arin: I’m a ma– *both break down laughing* Arin: Fuckin hard! Dan: It is hard. *Arin begins to play the bass AGAIN* Arin: At least I’m really good at this. (gestures the bass) Dan: I think we’re pretty good when you play the bass line. *more pano wiv animeshon* *Dan made a single oopsie* Dan: Augh! Arin: AGH, WHAT DID YOU DO?! Arin, with Dan laughing: WHAT DID YOU DO?!?! *NO, ARIN, NOT THE CELLOS!!!!!!!* Dan: Wow- Arin: Fucking weak, LINK! *Laughter from both as Arin walks through expensive musical damage* Dan: (through laughs) I could kill you right now…! Arin: Let me try, let me try. Dan: Really? *practices slowly, like a good student* Dan: Nice! Arin: I’m learning! *Arin hits a wrong key*
Dan: Okay- Arin: Shit… Dan: No, it’s good! Everything’s good. Dan: Everyone still listening out there~? Arin: (chuckles while slowly getting better!) 😀 Arin: I’m getting excited! Dan: Me too! Dan: Now stay focused. *Arin hits a wrong note by getting too excited* Arin: I GOT IT! *More laughter ensues as Arin plays like mad* Arin: I GOT IT!!! Dan: Yes! Yes you do! *the clarinet returns with a vengeance*
*Barry joins in with a hi-hat* *Ooh!* *NSP is in here now!!!*
*Ninja Brian joins with the cello, Ross with the trombone, and Suzy with DBass* *BIG BOI TOOT* *It’s all Fantasia up in this biznitch, wow this is beautiful* Dan: This is the one! Arin: Yeah! Dan: This is the one- Danny and Arin! Arin: It sure is! Dan: Danny and Arin’s Masterpiece!! Arin: Oh, it sure is! Dan: Ohhhh, God! *hell yea orchestra up in here* *Arin joins in on the pianer* *Dan rolls the “magical woosh” on the cymbal, making the music swell* Arin: Oh! Dan: Yeah, baby! Arin: Dude! That was magic! Dan: (le wink~) *Arin comes in to annoy* Dan: Whoa! nice! Arin: Got ’em! Yeah, I got it! Dan: Arin- Arin: What? *high pitched OoOoOoOoO’s* Dan: Arin! Arin: What? I can’t stop! Won’t stop! Dan: ARIN!! Arin: YYYYYAHAHAHAHAHAHA Arin: YYYYYAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Dan: Ohhhhh my god!! Arin: (laughs manically) (through laughing) I didn’t even know you could do that!! Dan: That was really impressive! Arin: (giggling proudly) BADADADADADADA- *the music swells more and more* *watch as he dances* Arin: Look at that! Is that called pulling an Arin? Cuz I just pulled it! Dan: Arin, I need you to focus! (chuckles) Arin: Okay! *Full blown orchestra goes all-out* *Ross is dying* *BOOM!* Dan: Yeah!!! Arin: Dude, that was awesome! Arin: Dude, that was awesome!
Dan: Awesome! Arin: Dude, that was awesome! *Hi, Ross!* Dan: This is a fun game, right? Arin: Y- I’m having a great time, because it’s with my friend, Dan. Dan: Thank you! *Suzy interrupts this moment of… friendship?* *I honestly have nothing else to say, this is so friggin great* *CLANK!* *Arin hits a wrong key* Arin: SHIT! Dan: *laughs hysterically at Arin’s pain* *Arin joins in with Dan, both laughing again* Dan: That was fucking nuts! Arin: Yeah! *snickers* Dan: “sHeIt!” Arin: (giggles) Dan: My turn… *Dan begins to play “Grump Lullaby” throughout the credits of these wonderful animators, and the wonderful composer of the music/editing/script/etc.!* Caption credits in the description below, have a lovely day!

Terraria – Fawful’s Minion

February 26, 2020 | Articles, Blog | 100 Comments

Terraria – Fawful’s Minion


Gee, it sure is boring around here… Huh, you’d think something funny would happen by now. HEADGEAR! Yes, your lordness! Gimme something good to play, new year…new digs! Ahah, I smell a joke…! That’d be me… …oh, I getcha. …WOW. I’ve never truly needed to ask myself “what are you DOING, man?” before…but, really! What HAVE I been doing all this time for this to be the first video I’ve ever dedicated to this game? This…NNNRGH, this game! Re-logic’s crowning achievement is the now legendary ex-indie titan…Terraria! *inhales and exhales happily* I’m blowing the wad early. I love this game. ASTRONOMICALLY. A top ten favorite…and–I know! I blab my FACE off about my favorites–good GOD, get the muzzle! …because they’re just that important to me. So…what up with the wait? True Terrarians speak up! Kinda lookin’ like a wooden yo-yo, brah. You could say…it’s all for the moment. THIS moment! For all the epic ones it’s given me, I’m about to praise the ever-loving SHIT…outta Terraria’s master-class ass! Maybe even poke fun? Heh, yeah, okay. Journey’s End approaches…as the true eye of Cthulhu as my witness, the time is now! Fellow fellas and lady fellas…LET’S VIDEO! For the benefit of painting a full picture…and informing the poor creatures that have yet to play it, what is…Terraria? Okay, first of all, how the fuck do you even pronounce it? Teh Rawr ria, Te RARE ia… Terry tastes tapioca toaster strudel… It’s like Ocarina of Time, OHcarina of time…who knows? This calls for a throat clear. *clears throat* Terraria is a land of infinite forms anchored in the blind spot of the universe. Yeah-heh, LORE baby! *clears throat again* In a nebulous effort to maintain fairness amongst all life, the gods imbued this sentient land with 3 marks of great spiritual defense–the Crimson, Corruption, and Hallow. All was well until misguided people mistreated the forces with their destructive acts of deifying, common sin, and overbearing purity. One god thought it necessary to rain such a world with unprecedented devastation…Cthulhu. Terraria’s demise was imminent…yet hope rose once the Dryads–ones with the planet–waged battle against the titan… …miraculously crippling it by ripping out it’s eyes, part of it’s skeleton, and chunks of it’s brain. …forcing the monster to flee to the dark side of the moon, to slowly prepare for it’s impending return! …and now, WE arrive to clean up the mess! Terraria’s lore isn’t commonly appreciated on account of it not being written in in-game writing… …but the classical scent of storybook fiction provided once read is wonderful. Setting you as the lord of this complex, chaotic realm, without explicitly directing or even showing you what must be done… …that’s your golden hint that the creators truly know adventure! I hear even Breath of The Wild’s staff was moved by Re-logic’s passion for questing. …and GOD damn, that says more than ANY script I can possibly write. Now, what you DO with your critical role…that’s up to you! Do you dare oppose the ancient forces of Love Craft? Or you just gonna chop trees, eat mushrooms, and play with baby slimes all millennia? *loads gun* Bring it, ya H.P. fuckers! With shitty copper gear in hand, seriously–AM I USING PENNIES–we forge a path to awesome! One thing you’ll immediately grasp about Terraria is the sprite work. While certainly not the most detailed or animate you’ll ever see… …the style somehow slips between both minimal and expansive with the simple designs and ENORMOUS quantity. …setting the visual tone as something unassuming, but guaranteed to leave you feeling stupid for falling asleep on it. I like that, I’m a sucker for sprites. Consider my thirst quenched. Better yet, perhaps due to impressive optimization…this can run on potatoes! Even my cretaceous clump of crap laptop from 2010 was able to run the game well before it bit the dust! Shattering one of the biggest pains in a PC gamer’s ass…not having enough power…to a billion bloody pieces! Unless something’s seriously wrong with your computer…you can comfortably play Terraria no matter what. So get on that, dammit! Helmed by sir Scott Lloyd Shelly, the beats flowing through the Cthulhu kingdom are excellent. The soundtrack’s got this infectiously boppy vibe, with an underlying feel of something larger than you looming over. …beautifully, but subtly, tying into the whole concept. I could easily see the daytime overworld tune as one of THE great video game themes of the past decade. it’s enchanting with how quaint, catchy, and epic it is…all at once. All stand, for the anthem of adventure! *happy shudders* Majesty…! The rest are all A-rank, too. Other favorites include the Rain, Hollow, Ocean, Underworld, Corruption, and Wall of Flesh boss themes. Really brings a new meaning to “Beat me up, Scotty.” Presentation is great across the board, in high favor of passion over power…something invaluable in your quest to be the best. It’s not exactly easy to intimidate a shithead reviewer guy. Normally we just Palpatine all but the kitchen sink in January… …but, how in Jesus’s hoochie house am I supposed to lay out all THIS? Terraria’s a creature of creativity. A premise of “kill Cthulhu” is plenty for a game to make fun out of. But Andrew Spinks wanted more for his baby than simple conflict. So let’s just make the most diverse sandbox game of ALL TIME… As one it’s very often lumped with, Minecraft was clearly a point of influence for Terraria. Surely, it’s just 2D Minecraft! Who should bother? First off, everyone…SECOND, both games are great, and TRES…let’s clear it up. To me, Minecraft is the better artistic vision, tool, and sensory experience. First person, nigh infinite words, and promotes recreation through not telling jack diddly squiddly SQUAT. But as a straight up game, with all the fairy bells and whistles…Terraria is much, MUCH better. It truly feels like Mr. Spinks wanted to pick up everything Notch left unturned from his bigger picture and optimize the potential waiting for it. So he, and his team, did! …and holy SHIT, I better get on this. As the badass lore reading made clear, we have a prime directive…destroy Cthulhu and it’s forces. We do that by exploring, fighting, and looting every inch of this brilliant world…gradually amassing amazing power, and turning the gods’ planet into our own. Beautiful biomes, awesome treasure, monstrous bosses…music to a Terrarian’s ears! I gotta commend the team for setting a goal in stone for their sandbox. On paper, it seems more ideal to follow Minecraft and leave it ALL up to the player…but limitations force the push you need. Y’know, we’re just prissy monkeys…sometimes a pointer finger is an oracle to us. Terraria cleverly forms a clear path of progress…but rewards the player so much for completing it’s milestones. Defeating key bosses unlocks practically whole chapters for crafting, biome changes, NPC availability; thus access to THEIR offerings… Things keep getting bigger as your boss list gets smaller. Assuring your in-world bucket list stays BOTTOMLESS. You feel on rails and unchained at the same time…ALL the time. It’s truly magical, and a feeling not even the biggest open world behemoths have managed to replicate. Okay, yeah, cool…we get what ya do. …but what can you DO? (wheezing) WHAT CAN YOU D-…ooh! Let’s lay it out! Highly encouraged from the get-go, it’s possible to build housing for NPCs from the materials you spawn next to. There’s over 20 of them in total–many of which acting as merchants. Gun guy, Demoman, Pinkie Pie, and this damn platinum vacuum of a goblin making your shit hella strong! …all with the common role of powering up your character. …so getting yourself a platonic harem of walking talking power up’s gonna do lots. UNREAL, FIRST TRY! True to form, digging and exploring are staple activities in Terraria…it’s the most reliable means of badassifying yourself. SNORE…said no one, EVER. Watching footage doesn’t even remotely do it justice…never has chewing through dirt been so dick-hardening. I may have to reconsider my fetishes, but so will you once I tell you why. It’s step numero uno of Terraria’s god-tier progression. Nearly EVERY time you channel your inner Diglett, you’re sure to find treasures of boredom murdering proportions. Shiny ores and gems to craft new armor and weapons, max health expansions, magic portals of moolah… …chests with powerful gear and potions, underground sub-biomes, blocks for use in building, more crafting, MORE TREASURE… …special NPCs, rare and common enemies holding amazing drops… Hell, even deaths are hilarious down here! Fuck! Annoying-ass traps…but god is it funny to watch it on the playback. …is Wily Coyote hiding from ACME’s lawyers down here? Also, gotta love the stupid pain grunt. ERR. *chuckles* Never in my seven years of playing have I ever took a trip underground and came up saying “I’m bored”. You’re ALWAYS making progress. It’s a high of high fantasy I can hardly describe! One part Dig Dug, one part Super Metroid…all parts NNNNNRGH. Fueling the addiction is what I feel to be one of this game’s greatest strengths: it’s MASSIVE variety. In enemy and boss design, and especially…combat! Terraria spits in the face of many games of it’s kind in regards to dealing with danger. You normally see only old-world combat in old-world settings like this. I know, how DARE they. However, I feel that all too often compromises variety for the sake of, I dunno…’cuz Zelda does it? Y’know, swords, magic, archery…and usually in vanilla fashion. Re-logic clearly HATED the thought of being trapped in that box, so they broke out…to give us the most varied arsenal I’ve ever seen in a game. 4 dedicated fighter classes, with many layers to them. Melee: the home of swords, flails, spears, boomerangs, and frickin’ YO-YOs of countless ranges and elements. Magic: tried and true with tomes, wands, bubbles, MEDUSA’S DECAPITATED HEAD…and this thing. Summoner: send in your little bitches instead. ..and my favorite: ranger! Bows, guns, crossbows, guns, launchers, GUNS BOY! God, I love this shit…! Oh, and there’s kind of a sub-class; thrower…but it’s not overly developed, which is a shame–it’s really fun. …like this whole FUCKIN’ game’s fun! Really, the weapons add so much besides the obvious. It’s absurdly refreshing for a game like this to have so many combat options in all phases of the adventure. How many games have YOU played where you can gun down a mimic with projectile candy corn and eviscerate giant antlions with a celestial yo-yo? OH DATS RIGHT, NONE…’cept this one. …and that really tells you where the aim is. Merging the olden fantasy conflicts of conquering grand evils and creatures of mythology and real life with power… …equipment, and abilities spanning ALL eras of culture and media… Terraria has one of the most stylized and charming senses of fiction you’ll ever see. …and the way Re-logic bakes an unending flood of power and plunder into that fiction, the feeling’s indescribable. Dig, kill, loot, build, craft, farm… I CAUGHT A FISH! …explore…CONQUER. It’s all excellent. Through the far reaches of space, to the very bottom of the underworld…YOU. …are Terraria. All for…t-ten. Dollars. I guess it’s true, then. The craziest people DO lead the world… Oh-hoh, wait…wasn’t there an omnipotent evil squid bitch we gotta kill? Setting up addicting illusions to STALL me, eh? COME get some! …I was almost getting bored! (whispering) No I wasn’t…! Partial thanks to my remaster of Top 15 Boss Battles, a lot of you surely know of Terraria’s boss roster. …well, I hope you’re not done being impressed. The game’s lineup of 15 core and 14 event and mini bosses are the core drive of your constant badassifying. …and by GOD, does it feel good to make use of EVERY last drip. Most being fragments of Cthulhu itself, either by real organic leftovers or mechanical replication of said leftovers in an attempt to form a kind of “Mechthulhu”. Taking down the bosses feels good for both lore reasons…and obvious reasons. Challenging and diverse all throughout, they test your dodging skills harder than Neo ever could… …and the spectacle remains a constant in your efforts to farm their intoxicating loot. You already know the Wall of Flesh is my favorite, but the mech bosses, Duke Fishron… …and Cthulhu’s possible true form/evil twin brother…the Moon Lord, are all riveting. You just feel so…DAMN…cool! “I AM THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS!” I…AM…THE WORLDS! Ah…feels good to be the boss. Well, yeah…we’ve been hearing that word constantly. Good, good, good, spice it up with some cons, green bean! Have you ever even PLAYED this game?! That’s like spotting a single drop of your piss in a rainstorm…after chugging a lake! Good luck, is all I’m saying. Terraria doesn’t do anything wrong…except end, OH WAIT! I’ll humor the script. I only have 5 nitpicks, and I truly mean “nitpicks”. First, it can be a little annoying to manage inventory sometimes. Especially in the many moments where you explore just one more tiny thing…70 times in a row, and it gets CRAZY how many items you get flooded with. In spite of the sorting and trash options… …SOMETHING MINECRAFT DESPERATELY NEEDS… …I find myself needing to forfeit some items to make room for valuable stuff early on. But that’s just it: early on. This becomes more or less moot once you advance far enough to get the money trough, piggy bank, and safe…which effectively triples your inventory space… …but it’s a small gripe in the early stages of pre-hardmode. Yeah, by the way, that’s code for “the first half of the game.” Second half is “hardmode”. …and Expert Mode’s the real hard mode option. That’s not confusing at all… I am a tad disappointed that the thrower class isn’t as well developed as the core four. It’s pretty fun to throw shit and have it work out, but it only goes as far as the Fossil Armor and Bone Javelins. …and has almost no real chance of viability in hardmode. Lame. Third, some biomes aren’t as well fleshed out as others. Would’ve been neat to see every one at least have their own core boss. Hallow, space, desert, snow, mushroom, and dungeon biomes don’t have one…which I think could’ve really vacuum sealed the whole picture. Fourth, there’s no reliable way to bypass the night. Which slows progress on the surface for a good while thanks to nocturnal monsters. This is another thing that could’ve made early game a touch better. This is one of the few things vanilla Minecraft has over vanilla Terraria. Sure, the enchanted sundial can skip a day…but it has a massive cooldown. So, not much help there. Some bosses are nocturnal, too. So you can’t always fight those whenever you want. Lemme kill you, I got money! …and lastly, FUCK EXPERT MODE SKELETRON. The choice to ramp up difficulty is very nice, and I actually love Expert Mode. Except for this BONER. SO much faster, the head’s nigh indestructible with his arms out, the arms inflict slowness… …he shoots HOMING skulls when they ARE gone, and worst of all…he can STUN LOCK you to death extremely easily! Making an arena, an EXPERT SKELETRON specific arena…is a NECESSITY if you want to advance! …and he’s not optional, you HAVE to beat him. He simply DOESN’T belong in expert pre-hardmode, it’s bullshit how un-fun and cheap he is. Legitimately makes me rage quit my expert playthroughs sometimes. GOD DAMN! …fucker! But…guess what, that’s it! …that’s all I can believably bitch about, and mods even FIX some of them! …and so, I hope you can finally see what I see. Simply put, but never simply experienced…Terraria is a marvel of entertainment. In the race to build a thriving planet atop the monstrous mountain Minecraft formed…nobody was faster, or stronger. The best sandbox game ever created, in my eyes… They aimed to ensure the one playing in it felt like a cosmic KING or Queen…above a crown and throne. I’m sorry to those who waited so long…but I take my bow, right now. Everyone needs this game in their life. I recommend the steam version, hardcore. Mods, seamless multiplayer, and it costs less than a LARGE PIZZA! WHAT THE FUCK. Good luck to those new, and happy days to the veterans! To some, the end is merely within sight…but the heart of Terraria, never stops beating. Hyped beyond belief for Journey’s end, and to whatever the future may hold! We’ll dig it, guaranteed! THIS is being Fawful’s Minion. Saying, remember to keep calm…and have fury! Catch ya next time! …and now, give it up! For the high-tier Patrons! …may we meet again!