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DOOM (1993 ORIGINAL GAME) (Teens React: Retro Gaming)


♪ (old-school video game music) ♪ – “Doom.” Never heard of it. – Doom? I’ve never heard
of this game before. – It kinda looks like maybe Mars. And they’re fighting off maybe aliens. – Doom. Why not?
I’ve never played the first. It’s probably one of the most
iconic shooters ever. – Doom! Oh my god,
this is such a throwback! I used to play it
when I was younger a lot. – (Finebros) With Doom
releasing a reboot to the series later this month, we are
having you play the original that was first released in 1993
for PC on four floppy disks. – That’s a lot of floppy disks. I don’t think I know
what a floppy disk is. Are they the things that, um–
they’re kinda like square-looking, and they look like
the Save button on a computer. – I don’t even know what that means. But I remember playing
the game on a computer. – Damn, that’s like
three years older than me. – I was negative five
years old. (chuckles) I was just not even a thought yet. – (Finebros) You ready to get started?
– (nervously) No. – “Hurt me plenty”?
– (Finebros) Yeah, “hurt me plenty.” – Savage!
♪ (intense 8-bit rock music) ♪ Oh. Oh, whoa! I’ve seen this before! – Oh my gosh, the music. Throwback. – Oh shit, look at
those graphics. [Bleep]. This is ’93? God damn!
Look at the technology. Okay, let’s get it. – Let’s see. We’re going
left, forward, back. Just got to try out all the keys. – Okay. Oh, I can’t look down?
That’s disappointing. – What is this? Oh, 101% health? – All right, then.
I’m out to save the day. – Do I have to jump? Okay, cool. I already get up these things. Do I have to kill those? I can’t tell. We’ll see. We’ll see.
Is that anything I need? – 100% armor. – I already know the layouts of the level. Like, I already know where I’m gonna go. – Oh. There’s a corridor. – Is free roaming
wherever I go or what? – And I think that’s a dead monster. Okay. Let’s go this way.
There’s another dead guy. – Are you a door? All right. Oh, I see you guys. – Oh no. Dude, do I like them?
Do I not like them? (demons screech)
Ugh. (gunshot)
Aah! – Oh, [bleep]. – Die, heathens!
(demon groans) – These are armor. Okay. – Oh. Nope. Nope. (gunshots, demons lowing) – Okay, cool. I killed him. – Ooh, head shot, head shot, head shot. Damn, bang bang. – Oh, there’s a guy
right there. Oh my god. – Those things in the back
are gonna shoot fireballs at you. So don’t get too close. – Okay. Let’s try not to get killed. That might not be an option. – Bang bang. Ah ah ah, ooh. I see the– I see, uh–
can I not raise my gun? – How do I get up there
and kill that thing? I don’t think I can, ’cause it’s high.
And I can’t aim up. – I should probably kill him. (gunshots, demon growling) Okay. Oh, Jesus Christ. (giggles) Okay. – Make my way through here,
get some ammo-nition. – Okay, let’s go. Oh shit! Oh god! – Oh my god. (screams shrilly) Oh, I killed him though, I think. (gunshots and growling)
– Argh! Aw, yes, I killed it!! – Oh. Argh, you sumbitch. – Okay. This is the end? Right here? But there’s a secret over here. (player grunts, pants)
And there’s a new gun and health. So now I have a shotgun. – Hold up, let me jump through that. Oh my god. I just got a shotgun? I just got a secret–
come on, man. Look at this. – It’s an exit? Wait,
is that where I have to go? (door whirs) – Oh, it’s an elevator? ♪ (jittery beat) ♪
Oh, I did stuff. Yeah! ♪ (jittery beat) ♪ – Oh heck yeah, I didn’t die? – It is pretty cool. I can see why people were
addicted to it back then. – It was easiest. There was more to it. If that’s just level one, understandable. – This one’s gonna be easy as well. Okay. I am here. – I am there. “Nuclear plant.” – All right, cool. ♪ (foreboding music) ♪ – Oh my god. There’s so many
dead friends everywhere. – I think in this level, you need keys. – It’s a little sketchy. (demons lowing) (gunshots, demons groaning) Die! This is fun. (demon growls)
– Oh my god, oh my god. Did you hear that? Oh my god. (gunshots)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Brah. – Oh damn, one hit. – Is there armor? There’s
a chest plate up over there. (beep)
(hums nonchalantly) ♪ (beat picks up) ♪
– I want to find secret stuff. Okay.
(lift whirs) This seems promising. (lift whirs) Ooh, look at that. See?
Put your mind in something. – Whoa. What? Oh. (excitedly) Oh, is this another weapon? (whispers) Yes! – (gasps) I found another gun! (demons roaring) – Aah!
(demons groan) See how helpful the shotgun is? (demon groans)
One-hit kill. So this red thing means
I need to find a red key to get into that door.
So I have to look for the red key. – Just gotta– all right,
I think this is where I have to go. (door whirs)
Ooh! Ooh, you dead. (chuckles) (demon groans)
– Cool. Health-healths. – Okay, we’re at 72% health. (gunshots)
No! Okay, cool. – Ugh, that’s one! Get– Oh, hey buddy. Bam! (laughs) – Oh. I got a red thing.
What is that? Is that a secret? – The red key should be
right here, around here. There it is. See, I remember.
I remember. Heh. (demon groans)
– Head shot. (door whirs)
Oh, it looks like we’re back here. – Uh, I don’t really know
where I’m going now. – All right. I don’t know
what my main plot is. I think that’s the only thing
that I’m confused about. But everything else
seems to be pretty good. – I feel like there’s some
lore to it that I’m missing. But I don’t know if this game
really dives into that. – This one I didn’t go through. (door whirs) – Here’s the red door.
So I’m gonna go in there. (door whirs) – People to kill. Die!
Take me to your leader! – Oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. (shaky sigh) That’s what happens
when you don’t be low-key!! (door whirs) – Okay. I feel like there’s
gonna be a lot of monsters, since they gave me a lot of health. So… (door whirs, demons low) Oh, I was right. – Oh, shit. Why does a game that’s
over 20 years old startle me? – Oh my god. Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap! Oh my god. Bro. – [Bleep] that, bro. [Bleep] that. – Oh, crap! Die! (cracking up) Die… die… This is awesome. (gunshot and growl)
– (fiercely) Yes! Okay. I just killed another
one of those demon people. – Can’t see anything. Maybe this way. I was already here. You know, just because
I don’t know where I’m going doesn’t mean I’m lost. I’m just exploring. Not all those who wander are lost. Although in this case,
I have no idea where I am. – So we’re gonna click this. (door whirs)
That opens that. – There IS a switch.
Is that a space bar too? (door whirs)
Yes. Ooh! Secret passageway. – Ooh. Ooh, this looks suspicious. Oh, what the heck? What is this? – This game has a lot of secret pathways. I think that’s the only thing
that’s gonna screw me over in the long run. (door whirs, demons growling) – (stoically) Oh, I’m scared.
I’m so scared, man. (gunshots, demons groaning) – Too easy. (player panting) – (nervously) No! Aah, aah, aah. Don’t kill me. Don’t kill me. Okay. So I killed one of them. (door whirs, demons groaning)
– Kill it. Die. (demon groans)
Aah! (demon growling)
Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Literally oh my god. This thing looks promising, I guess. There’s a switch right there. – There’s like a little triangle glowing. – Think I killed everything. ♪ (jittery beat) ♪ (excitedly) Wait, did I finish? – I’m gonna leave this stupid place. ♪ (jittery beat) ♪ I beat it. – This game’s actually not
that bad for such an old game. – You have your mazes,
and then you have your monsters. Portal and Gears of War into one. – That was really fun.
I’m excited for the new version. – The game itself– there wasn’t
anything special about it, ’cause I personally don’t really
like games where you just go and you shoot, and that’s
all you do, and you collect stuff. I like story-based games,
so I was not a big fan of this game. – It was fun how you had to explore and figure out which way you were going. – I’m having fun going around
finding out what’s going on, shooting all these
bad guys with a shotgun. I’m glad I found it. – Oh my gosh. Like,
I totally forgot about this game. I used to play this game
so much when I was younger. And I know all the secrets. I know all the different
levels and endings. It’s just a really fun game. – (Finebros) Like we mentioned, Doom is being remade for the current gen, and we want you to take a look at it.
– All right. – I think it probably will look cool. I’m imagining a really
Halo-y looking thing. ♪ (intense music) ♪ – Definitely amped up the graphics. – Bethesda or whatever.
The same people who make Fallout. – (laughs) Already I’m like,
“Well damn, what an improvement.” (chuckles) – Okay, this looks good so far. (blast)
Okay, see, like, look. Now those monsters actually look scary. I would not play this game. (metallic ringing, gun blasts) – Double barrel.
It’s actually pretty cool. – Okay. I don’t know. It doesn’t look as scary
as I would imagine it. (mechanical whirring) (boom)
– All right, this is pretty sick. Oh– oh jeez. (saw grinds)
– Oh, and the blood looks realistic too. – See, if this is what
I was going through, I would be way more enter– Yes. I would be so entertained. – Oh. It looks more futuristic than scary. – Okay, I’m feeling that.
I’m feeling that. That kinda like Gears of War
type stuff going on. – That’s so cool. That’s so cool! – That’s– that’s an
improvement, all right. I would actually want
to keep playing this game now. It’d make you badass as hell. Like, this doesn’t even
compare to Halo anymore. – Thanks for watching Gaming
on the React channel. – What games should we play next?
Let us know in the comments. – Subscribe to get more Gaming episodes. – Bye! I’m not that sure we should
be trying to land on Mars now. ♪ (old-school video game music) ♪

FLASHOUT 2 – MAKING OF VIDEO – Futuristic anti-gravity racing game by Jujubee!


FLASHOUT 2 is very much different from its precedessor. Tracks are more curvy and offer a lot of variety, with many sharp corners, twists, bends, loops, racing upside-down, blood freezing speed jumps and so on, so in general the game is not only faster but also extremely exciting. FLASHOUT 2 is a much bigger game. There are more circuits, licensed music tunes, more leagues, there’s also an animated story, 11 different languages are supported and of course the highly-anticipated multiplayer mode is also there. Moreover we’ve made many changes to the Career Mode which is now much more exciting thanks to new racing modes, such as Elimination or for example the Destruction Mode, which is a bit similar to a deathmatch because your goal is to destroy as many enemies as possible, so there’s a lot more going on. We’re very happy that Apple made the decision to support game controllers and thanks to our cooperation with Moga FLASHOUT 2 features full controllers support on both iOS and Android devices, and I must say the feeling and the overall experience is simply amazing, the game is very responsive and makes you feel like you’re playing on a portable console. In such games as FLASHOUT 2 you want to get the best and flawless experience, so we put a lot of effort to get as much as 60fps on high-end devices such as the iPhone 5s and iPad Air. As result the gamplay is amazingly smooth and thanks to geometry streaming and heavy code optimization FLASHOUT 2 is still able to offer console-quality graphics and spectacular visual effects, even on older devices! In reviews and comments players asked us for an online multiplayer mode and we are happy to confirm that the game will launch with this exciting new feature. You will be able to challenge your friends or compete against random players from all around the world and we are sure that you will love the online experience in FLASHOUT 2! There’s no doubt that FLASHOUT 3D was a success for Jujubee, and we knew from the very beginning that we want to go further with this franchise and that the second game will be even better. In the case of FLASHOUT 2 we had more time to polish every little detail and we could take profit of all the great feedback we got from players and fans. As result, FLASHOUT 2 is a completely different game, made 100% from scratch and it offers you a console-like gaming experience like never before. FLASHOUT 2 – Coming Q1 2014 Android, Windows Phone, PC and Mac versions will be out at a later date.

The 5 Funniest Comedy Slot Games Available For You To Play Right Now


For all the slot games out there, it’s surprising
how many of them play it straight. Maybe we’ll get the odd silly mascot here and there, but
there are very few slots which actually aim to be funny in all aspects. In this video, we’ll see the 5 times that
slot developers made an effort to make us laugh, outside of when we got that big win. Machine Gun Unicorn – Genesis Gaming Machine Gun Unicorn is the trashy b movie
of the slot world. A peaceful world of unicorns is beset by zombies and only our heroic machine
gun unicorn can save the day. Slots are 18 rated by default due to gambling laws, but
Machine Gun Unicorn is one of the few slots which truly earns that rating for its over
the top violence and utter ridiculousness. Family Guy – IGT Take the stupid and random humour of Family
Guy and it’s almost impossible to make a slot that isn’t funny. In the same vein
of the show’s irreverent cutaway gags, the Family Guy slot has all that same madness;
featuring a random bonus, where characters will just walk onto screen and do something
usually disgusting whilst dropping off an extra cash prize. Add in a world domination
bonus round featuring Stewie Griffin and a boxing match between Peter and a giant Chicken,
and you have a slot game that’s completely faithful to the much loved Family Guy style
of comedy. Gonzo’s Quest – NetEnt On a Spanish expedition for gold, a treacherous
conquistador called Gonzo steals the ship’s only map and heads out by himself to find
the lost city of gold deep in the South American jungle. Put aside the fact that he may have
stranded over 100 souls and Gonzo reveals himself to be a classic comedy slot mascot.
He’s completely brainless, greedy and excitable which makes him extremely fun to watch. Gonzo’s
animations are over 5 years old but still some of the best around as he dances excitably
around the reels with every successive win. Even after all these years, Gonzo’s Quest
is still one of the most enjoyable slots from both NetEnt and the industry at large. Taco Brothers – Elk Studios Set in a small Mexican town, where an evil
Captain has taken away the once free tacos that each citizen could enjoy, it’s up to
3 brothers to steal back the tacos from the town’s bank. We’re not sure we’d want
a taco that’s been locked up in a sweltering safe, but everything else about Taco Brothers
suits us down to the ground. It’s a whacky comedy caper in slot form, which makes us
only wish more slot devs had fun with their slot themes. Spinions – Quickspin If you hate the Minions, then these Spinions
probably won’t win you over. However, if you’re a fan of Minion antics then Quickspin’s
Spinions slot might be enough to raise a smile. Quickspin started everything off with a great
ad campaign showing a series of skits of Spinion antics before delivering the final slot which
brings all that mania together in one excellent game. Thanks for watching this latest top 5 from
Fortune Frenzy. If you want more from us then you can give us a like and subscribe to our
channel. You can even check out our blog using the link in the description below if you
want to see some more from us. We’ll see you, later.

10 Worst PS4 Games of All Time | whatoplay

October 11, 2019 | Articles, Blog | 34 Comments

10 Worst PS4 Games of All Time | whatoplay


10. ARK Park
Sure, ARK: Survival Evolved is a great MMO game, but this VR take on the Jurassic Park-like
experience isn’t as grand as everyone thought it would. ARK Park has glaring issues. First, it’s obvious development was rushed. Resulting in an unfinished mess. Second, it’s expensive for a glorified tech
demo. Intended as a groundbreaking VR title, it
disappointed most of the ARK player base with Chinese developer Snail Games’ shady cash-grabbing
practices. Graphics-wise, the game is impressive. Every detail feels like you’re part of a
Jurassic Park movie. However, the rest is clunky, controls are
wonky and movement is a vertigo-inducing trip. Cubed3’s Drew Hurley criticized the gameplay
loop, saying that, “The gathering is grindy, the crafting unrewarding, and the combat boring
and repetitive.“ He gave it a 3 out of 10. It’s devoid of all the great things that
made Survival Evolved fun to play at. Performance-wise, compared to the abysmal
PC version, this PS4 port is a smoother experience… but that doesn’t mean it’s still good. It receives a playscore of a 5.33. 9. Afro Samurai 2: Revenge of Kuma – Volume One
Rare is a game SO BAD the developers decided to cancel every future plan of the project
and remove it from the face of the Earth, they even had to issue refunds to those who
buy it. It was so terrible they no longer want to
complete the next two volumes. It’s based on a very popular manga about
afro samurais and hip-hop. It’s a huge downgrade from the first Afro
Samurai game from 2009, which received favorable reviews. Calling this game “bad” is an understatement. To start off, it has no direction. The entire pilgrimage of the hero is never
realized. Every time it comes close to major story development,
the game completely forgets about it. The blatant sexism, the terrible gameplay
and a bit of bug in between, it is an obvious flop. Of all the reviewers, Destructoid hated the
game so much they gave it a 1. Reducing its review to two words: ‘Digital
Seppuku’ I mean, come on. There’s no reason to seriously consider
buying this game, even the devs are removing it from most major video game stores. At least the soundtrack is a banger. It has a playscore of 5.16. 8. Left Alive
Considered as a spin-off for Front Mission, Square’s brand-new action-survival game
feels like a hot topic version of Metal Gear. The game takes you to the dark and gritty
future where technology is rampant and mechs are a thing. You take control of three protagonists with
different perspectives, sounds cool, right? But no. According to most players, the game is ‘complete
garbage’. The game’s lackluster content makes you
feel that the devs knew what they were doing when they named it Left Alive. Most of the game’s issues come from its
performance issues that come alongside a triple-A price tag. There’s no good reason to purchase this
title in its current state, or maybe forever. Push Square gave it a 2 out of 10. Disappointed by everything the game delivered. Saying that, “Left Alive categorically fails
at everything it sets out to accomplish”. It’s a shame since a lot of talented people
from popular video game franchises extended their help only to produce this… abomination. It’s better off dead, really. It receives a playscore of 5.13. 7. Tennis World Tour
Sports games can be bad too, especially when the developers don’t bother trying. Tennis World Tour was supposed to be the new
standard for Tennis. You could choose from a wide variety of iconic
professional players and even experience a career mode. You might be asking, “How is it bad when
it follows the same formula as other sports titles?!” The answer is, like most games on this list,
it is an incomplete mess. Even after a year since its release, no major
improvements were made to the game regarding its slow movement and game-breaking bugs. Not to mention the shady practice from the
developers. Dual Shockers gave it a 3 out of 10. Attacking the game’s terrible marketing
and presentation. They said, “It’s one thing to not have
key features at launch, but the absence of solid gameplay puts the final nail in the
coffin.”. The game might appease some casual players,
but those who spend the full price would think it to be a waste of their money and their
time. Other Foreign reviewers, such as Multiplayer
and IGN Italy both gave it a 5 out of 10. At least they’re a bit forgiving, but still
share the same concerns from most people. It has a playscore of a 5.04. 6. Bravo Team
This is an unexpected disappointment from the company that gave us the horrifying Until
Dawn and even The Dark Pictures: Man of Medan. Bravo Team is a VR shooter and another victim
of rushed development. Only created within 13 months, it gave a bad
rep for Supermassive Games considering that they should know better. It was intended to be this groundbreaking
VR shooter but unfortunately, it was far from that. Its cover-shooter elements are broken and
it doesn’t feel like it’s a 2018 game. Aside from that, the enemies are bullet sponges
that make no sense. Their AI is so bad it feels like they wanted
to die with the game too. TechRaptor was furious and confused by the
game’s design. Giving it a 2 out of 10. Saying that “It is absolutely baffling how
truly bad Bravo Team really is. Nothing about this game screams “this is
a final product ready for release”.” It is marred by numerous bugs and various
performance issues resulting from the rushed development. It is as expected. Bravo Team is FUBAR and it has a playscore
of a 5.04. 5. THE QUIET MAN
Another example of ambitious titles that failed to thrive. The Quiet Man is Square Enix’s immersive
narrative-driven story accompanied by an energetic combat and live-action sequences. They even had the gall to hire actors for
this one but to be fair, they’re kinda good, the game is just bad. It has a really interesting concept, but horrible
execution. The entire game is set within ‘one night’
and it showcases Square’s seamless mix of Live-Action elements and CGI… but it all
boils down to one thing: IT’S BORING. Cultured Vulture’s Ashley Bates gave it
a 2 out of 10, saying that, “…consider it a fairly cheap palette cleanser that’ll
make you appreciate the much better games on the market.” Most of the major concerns come from its ‘silent
world’ since you take control of a deaf protagonist. You literally can’t hear anything at all. There are no subtitles even when other people
are talking. It’s a conceptual catastrophe that failed
to capture the real intention of the creators for the players. Even GameSpot gave it a 2 out of 10. Criticizing the boring combat. Saying that the“Simplistic, ungainly combat
is all the more surprising given that it is The Quiet Man’s only gameplay mechanic.” It receives a playscore of a 5.02 4. Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5
It’s heartbreaking to see one of our favorite childhood games get sequels that don’t even
compare to the original. Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 is a sad and disappointing
follow-up to a legendary series. To make the long story short, it’s a technical
mess. Most of the controls don’t even work as
intended and the classic attitude that made Pro Skater great was gone. Jimquisition’s Jim Sterling gave it a 2
out of 10. Saying that, “Tony Hawk 5 looks like the
burned corpse of a three-legged sheep and plays like the results of teaching a chimpanzee
how to code.” Even with an online mode, it’s better you’re
doing it offline on your own as it adds no variety to the gameplay. The lack of social features make multiplayer
tedious, jarring and could cause some performance drops to your gameplay. GamesRadar gave it a 1.5 out of 5, citing
that “..it’s a constant reminder of how much greater the originals were, and how much
you’d rather be playing them instead.” Purchasing this game at its full retail price
is a terrible idea. Just like most of the criticisms from this
game, you’re better off playing the classics instead. It has a playscore of a 4.90 3. Weeping Doll
Horror games are a unique bunch. As long as they scare the crap out of us,
they have the pass to be ‘okay’ and we’d recommend it to our friends. Weeping Doll is unlike any other horror game. It’s a cheap pandering for the fans of the
genre with its uninspired and generic designs. It’s a VR title that tries to accomplish
something great with its haunting atmosphere, but fails to retain its consistency in its
short game time. ZTGD gave it a 3, citing that, “…it’s
not even terrifying; the only thing scary is how disappointingly mediocre this experience
is.” There’s a lot of horror games on the market
and Weeping Doll shares no distinctiveness to the other great titles. It’s a shame, considering the visuals are
really top-notch. GameSpew disliked the game’s presentation,
giving it a 4 out of 10. Saying that “The confusing set pieces, empty
story, and rough dialogue will distract you from enjoying the experience.” It sets a lesson that horror games don’t
always have to be played in Virtual Reality. It has a playscore of a 4.78. 2. Road Rage
Also another example of a game that you’re better off playing with its original version. Road Rage is a shoddy racing game with open-world
elements. As a rider, it is your job to own the streets
and smack those who stand in your way. But underneath it… testosterone-fueled presentation,
it’s an underwhelming game with no reason to play. Everything is monotonous and it gets pretty
repetitive doing the same missions again and again. TSA was so annoyed at its gameplay loop, especially
the unfulfilling combat and ‘road raging’. They gave it a 2 out of 10. Saying that the game has “…become harder
to tolerate knowing just how deeply unfulfilling the core gameplay is, even when you factor
in the budget price tag.” It is a terrible title that leaves no satisfaction
at the end of the road. It’s a shame since the PS1 classic was so
well-received. It has a playscore of a 4.56. 1. Basement Crawl
This pathetic excuse of a Bomberman inspired game is still the reigning champion of Whatoplay’s
worst PlayStation 4 games. It is so terrible the devs decided to remake
the game from the ground up, giving it free for the poor players who purchased it. Just like Bomberman, you blow up your enemies
to smithereens. But Basement Crawl isn’t just that… it
also has major horror elements and it’s sad nobody gets to feel its bone-chilling
atmosphere due to its… abysmal performance issues. In addition to that, the game’s other major
concern comes from its easily exploitable online mode. Hacks and game-breaking bugs plague its servers,
ruining the entire experience. There is no sense going back to this already
broken title so it’s best we leave it in the basement. PS Universe gave it a 4 out of 10, saying
that, the game “…tries hard to recapture the magic of Bomberman but has a hard time
with its horror theme, lack of a real tutorial, and online connectivity issues.“ There’s no saving this one and it sets another
lesson to the developers that games should be polished before its release. There’s no point releasing unfinished products
only to issue refunds. The rest of the reviewers, including IGN,
GameSpot, GamesRadar, Polygon and Destructoid all had one thing in common to say about this
trainwreck: It’s best we play the original Bomberman instead. It has a playscore of a 4.26

Video Game High School (VGHS) – S2: Ep. 1

October 11, 2019 | Articles, Blog | 100 Comments

Video Game High School (VGHS) – S2: Ep. 1


( birds chirping ) ( battle cry ) HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT ITALIAN? FOR A FIRST DATE? DEPENDS. WE TALKIN’
PIZZA OR PASTA? IT’S SO COMPLICATED. ( battle cry ) TED, MY SWORD! HANG ON, DUDE,
I GOT SOMETHING COOLER. YOU SHOULD INVITE HER
ON A STUDY DATE. EVERYONE LOVES TO STUDY. OH, MAN, NO PERPS? WE WERE UP ALL NIGHT
FARMING THIS GUY. ALL NIGHT? ALL NIGHT? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? ( alarm rings ) Both:
WE’RE LATE FOR CLASS! COME ON, KI. COMING! DELIVERY. LET’S GO. ( class bell rings ) CLASS IS CANCELED? SCORE! MORE TIME FOR QUESTING.
B.D., I’M LOOKING AT YOU. OH, SORRY, DUDE.
I GOTTA GO GET READY. WE’RE MEETING THE NEW
FPS COACH TODAY. AW, MAN, THERE’S ALWAYS
AN FPS THING. WHAT ABOUT IT, KI? WANT TO GRIND SOME MOBS? HOW CAN YOU
THINK ABOUT GRINDING
AT A TIME LIKE THIS? WE HAVE NO CLASS. I HAVEN’T LEARNED
ANYTHING IN WEEKS. I’M OFF TO YELL AT CALHOUN. WHATEVER. I GUESS
I’LL NAB SOME Z’s
BEFORE DRIFT CLASS. PSYCH. I DON’T
GET SLEEPY, B.D. I GET GAMEY. I GET GAME– OH, MAN, I’M TIRED. HERE. YOU COULD USE
THE EXTRA FUEL. OH, YEAH! BRIAN! THANK GOD.
HOLD THIS. WHAT IS ALL THIS
STUFF, JENNY? PLAYBOOKS, KILL REELS, ANYTHING TO SHOW
THE NEW COACH
I AM AWESOME! STILL GUNNING
FOR VARSITY, HUH? OH, YEAH, WHATEVER GETS ME
TAPED TO THAT FLAGPOLE. WAIT, THEY TAPE YOU
TO A FLAGPOLE? IT’S AN OLD
VARSITY TRADITION. PLUS I’M GOING
TO LOSE MY MIND IF I HAVE TO
KEEP BABYSITTING J.V. OH, NOT YOU.
I MEAN, YOU’RE GREAT. IT’S JUST… THEM. Girl:
ONE… TWO-THREE! OH, YEAH. STOW IT, NERDS!
THE TRIAL’S ON! WELL, ANOTHER BAD DAY
IN COURT FOR VGHS
SUPERSTAR THE LAW, ACCUSED OF FIRST-DEGREE
HACKING BY THE ANTI-AIMBOT
ASSOCIATION. WORD HAS COME IN THAT
FORMER FPS COACH BOB JACKSON HAS FLED TO ZANZIBAR, REFUSING TO TESTIFY
ON LAW’S BEHALF. HEY. HOW Y’ALL
DOIN’ OUT THERE? THANKS FOR COMING OUT.
REALLY MEANS A LOT. ALL RIGHT, LET’S JUST
GET THROUGH THIS. UM… IN LIGHT OF THESE SUPER
BOGUS CHEATING ALLEGATIONS, AND OUT OF RESPECT TO VGHS, THE LAST PLACE IN THE WORLD
THAT TRULY BELIEVES IN ME, MY LEGAL TEAM AND I… …FEEL IT’S IN MY BEST INTEREST TO PUNCH THROUGH
MY PREPARED STATEMENT, FIRE MY LEGAL TEAM, AND SWEAR VENGEANCE
ON THE LOSER WHO DARED FRAME THE LAW! YOU’RE GOING DOWN, BUDDY,
JUST LIKE THIS PODIUM! NO! I NEVER CHEAT
AND I NEVER LOSE! YOUR BOASTS FUEL ME! I’M ALL GASSED UP
AND READY TO RIDE! WHOO! I CAN’T BELIEVE
I DATED THAT GUY. YEAH. WHAT–? UM… SO, I WAS GONNA GRAB
SOME PIZZA AND PASTA WITH TED AND KI AT ROMERO’S TONIGHT, BUT… THEY KIND OF WANT TO JUST
STAY INSIDE AND HANG OUT. DO YOU WANT TO COME? OKAY. WHA– REALLY? MM-HMM. AWESOME. I-I WAS THINKING
AROUND SEVEN. OH, ARE THEY
ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING,
BECAUSE I COULD MAKE MY SEVEN-NUT
SHELLFISH ONION DIP. OH, NO. UH, THEY’RE NOT COMING. UM, IT WAS JUST GONNA BE
THE TWO OF US. GRAB SOME ITALIAN FOOD
AND MAYBE CATCH A MOVIE. JUST…
YOU KNOW, HANG OUT. DOESN’T REALLY SOUND
LIKE HANGING OUT, BRIAN. SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE
ASKING ME ON A… WHAT IS THAT CALLED? YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU LIKE SOMEONE AND YOU’RE ASKING
THEM ON… WHAT? A DATE. YES. I AM ASKING YOU
ON A DATE, JENNY. PLEASE COME TO MY DATE. OKAY. ( class bell rings ) THIRTY SECONDS LATE, JENNY.
OFF TO A BAD START. MOM? COACH MATRIX. FALL IN. ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL,
THEODORE? SORRY, D.K.
LONG NIGHT. AH. NO DOUBT TOILING
OVER THE BOOK REPORT YOU WERE ABOUT TO GIVE ME. THE ONE THAT’S DUE TODAY. BOOK… REPORT? AW, SHUCKS,
I LEFT IT IN MY ROOM. CAN I JUST
GET IT TO YOU MONDAY? YOU DIDN’T DO IT, DID YOU? NO WAY. I SUPER DID IT. I SWEAR. IF YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH, THEN DELIVER UNTO ME
AT THE FPS TOURNEY THE REPORT. YOU WANT IT BY TOMORROW? I WANTED IT BY TODAY. ( chortling ) Man: WE HAVE AN FPS TEAM
IN SHAMBLES, WITH SPONSORS DROPPING
LIKE FLIES, AND YOU BRING ON A WILD CARD
LIKE MARY MATRIX? FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR JOB,
CALHOUN, I HOPE YOU MADE
THE RIGHT CHOICE. NOT THE RIGHT CHOICE;
THE ONLY CHOICE. NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE A SCHOOL TO RUN. WHAT THE CRAP
DO YOU TWO WANT? TELL FREDDIE
TO GIVE ME HOMEWORK. WE HAVEN’T HAD
AN ASSIGNMENT IN WEEKS. YOU WANT HOMEWORK?
DIDN’T YOU COME HERE
TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES? ACTUALLY, I CAME HERE
TO LEARN ABOUT GAMERS: WHAT MAKES THEM TICK,
AND– TLDR, KI. NOBODY CARES. FREDDIE, COME ON.
YOU KNOW THE RULES. ( scoffs )
I KNOWIRULE. JUST GIVE HER HOMEWORK
EACH WEEK. THIS IS A SCHOOL,
GODDAMN IT. UGH, FINE, FINE. UH, KI, YOUR HOMEWORK
FOR EVERY WEEK FOREVER IS TO DO NO HOMEWORK. NICE TRY, FREDDIE,
BUT I DON’T THINK
THAT COUNTS. – THAT COUNTS.
– WHAT? IN YOUR FACE! JUST BREATHE, KI. KEEP IT TOGETHER. DEAN CALHOUN,
I RESPECTIVELY REQUEST TO BE WITHDRAWN
FROM FREDDIE’S CLASS. YEAH, NO. NO, YOU DON’T
GET TO DO THAT. YOU DON’T GET TO WITHDRAW
FROM CLASS, YOU HAVE TO GET KICKED OUT
BY THE TEACHER. AND THAT AIN’T NEVER GONNA
HAPPEN, YOU UGLY NARC! BUT… OKAY, BUT THAT
DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE. THERE’S GOT TO BE
A LOOPHOLE OR SOMETHING. WHY DON’T YOU GO LOOK FOR
THAT LOOPHOLE ELSEWHERE? IF YOU TWO DON’T MIND,
I HAVE A SCHOOL TO RUN. HM! ( chuckles ) THAT’S
WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. I KNEW I COULD COUNT
ON YOU, MY MAN. RIGHT THERE. LAYING IT DOWN,
LARGE AND IN CHARGE. GIMME THE BONES. POUND IT. RIGHT HERE. POUND ME.
KNUCKLE SANDWICH. SO YOU LOST YOUR
STAR PLAYER. BIG WHOOP. YOU KNOW WHAT’S BETTER
THAN A STAR PLAYER? – HAVING A STAR TEAM.
– NO. A STAR COACH. THAT’S ME. AS HEAD COACH OF
THE DENVER COMMANDOES, I HAVE NEVER LOST
A PRO CHAMPIONSHIP, AND I’M SURE AS HELL
NOT GOING TO START AT THE HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL. I DO NOT LIKE WASTING TIME. SPEAKING OF WHICH, J.V.,
I CAN’T BOTHER WITH YOU, SO YOU JUST DO
WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU DO. VARSITY,
LET’S TALK BUSINESS. THIS IS THE NEW PLAYBOOK. BANGED IT OUT LAST NIGHT.
MEMORIZE IT BY GAME TIME. MEMORIZE A MILLION MOVES
BY MONDAY MORNING? MS. MATRIX,
THAT’S MARBLE MADNESS! YOU’RE CUT FROM
THE TEAM, ALLITERATOR. ANYONE ELSE? WELL, IT WAS FUN
WHILE IT LASTED. GOODBYE, EVERYBODY. SO I’LL SEE THE REST
OF YOU AT THE GAME. ( class bell rings ) DISMISSED. MOVE IT. SO YOUR MOM’S
THE NEW COACH. THAT’S, UH,
COOL, RIGHT? I’LL SEE YOU
AT SEVEN, BRIAN. OKAY, YEAH.
SEE YOU AT MY PLACE. MY PLACE…? TRYING TO BUTTER UP
THE NEW COACH? YEAH, SO I CAN
HANDLE OUR ANNUAL
PHONE CALL, BUT, UM, IS THERE A REASON
WHY YOU’RE HERE? YEAH, CALHOUN
CALLED IN A FAVOR,
AND I THOUGHT, WHY NOT? I’LL STOP MY DAUGHTER
FROM SCREWING UP HER CAREER. OKAY. YOU’RE HERE.
WHATEVER. YAY. ABOUT THAT SPOT
ON VARSITY, I WANT IT. – AND WHEN YOU’RE
READY FOR IT, I’LL–
– READY? ARE YOU SERIOUS? IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?
I HAVE A GAME THAT
I NEED TO PREP FOR. STORY OF MY LIFE. GOOD TALK, MOM. THAT’S
THE LAST RULE BOOK. THERE ARE NO LOOPHOLES. I’LL NEVER
HAVE HOMEWORK AGAIN. OH, GOD. HEY, KIWI. GOT THE HOMEWORK BLUES? ME TOO. I’M GONNA BE UP ALL NIGHT
DOING THIS LONG, BORING, SUCCULENT, SAVORY HOMEWORK. MAN, I’M HUNGRY. AND SLEEPY. DO YOU WANT TO SPLIT
A PIZZA AND GO TO BED? HEY, TED,
I NEED YOUR HELP! YOU GOT IT, BEST FRIEND! TED, WAIT!
YOU LEFT YOUR HOME… WORK. ( sighs ) OKAY, MAN,
THIS PLACE IS BOOKS! NOW I’VE REALLY GOT TO HIT
THE CLEAN THIS PLACE SPOTLESS. ALL RIGHT, THANKS, BUDDY. HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK–
TOMMY VERCETTI OR MAX PAYNE? I DON’T WANT TO
SMELL LIKE A GUY
WITH NOTHING TO LOSE– OR DO I? NO, NO, NO, NO.
TED, YOU GOTTA WAKE UP, MAN. JENNY’S GONNA
BE HERE ANY SECOND! ( knock on door ) I’LL GET IT. – WHY, HELLO.
– GOT A MOMENT? UH, SURE THING, MISS…
COACH. WHAT’S UP? IT SMELLS LIKE YOU GOT A DATE,
SO I’LL JUST CUT TO THE CHASE. I JUST TALKED TO VARSITY.
WHEW, THEY HATE YOU. OH. GOOD? YEAH,
I SAID THE SAME THING. SEE, I NEED SOMEONE
TO MAKE THEM MAD, TO LIGHT A FIRE
UNDER THEIR ASSES, AND YOUR ASS IS THAT FIRE. SO, I AM STARTING YOU
IN THE VARSITY GAME TOMORROW. WHAT? – ( knock on door )
– JENNY. UH, BENNY. TED BENNY.
MY ROOMMATE TED BENNY. THE STORIES I COULD TELL YOU
ABOUT TED BENNY. OH, MAN, I’M SURE
HE’S ON ONE OF HIS
CLASSIC JAMS AGAIN. UH, BEAR ME. ( laughing )
HEY, YOU. DO YOU MIND IF WE SKIP DINNER
AND JUST STAY IN TONIGHT? BUT, UM, THE DIP, THE DIP–
WHERE’S THE DIP? DIP?
OH, I MUST HAVE FORGOT. LOOK, JENNY, JUST BECAUSE
TED AND KI AREN’T HERE DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T WANT DIP. OKAY. UM… I THINK I HAVE
SOME PICANTE IN MY ROOM. THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
YEAH, GO GET THAT. PLEASE. OKAY. SURE. OH, BRING CHIPS, TOO. ( feigned laughter )
OH, HE’S SO FUNNY! OH, MY GOODNESS! OH, THAT’S SO FUNNY. SO, ABOUT TOMORROW’S GAME, I REALLY THINK
THAT WHO YOU SHOULD– I’LL SEE YOU
AT THE GAME, BRIAN. YES, MA’AM. BAD TIE. MY GOODNESS. HERE’S YOUR SALSA,
WEIRDO. JENNY, WAIT. LISTEN,
WE GOTTA TALK, ALL RIGHT? – YOUR MOM WANTS–
– BRIAN, PLEASE. DO YOU MIND IF WE
JUST RELAX TONIGHT? WE NEED CHIPS. WE NEED CHIPS.
AHEM. CHIPS. BRB. ( ringing ) COME ON, TED.
COME ON, TED, BE AWAKE. TED! JENNY’S HERE, IN HER PJ’s. SHE LOOKS ADORABLE.
I THINK WE’RE GONNA CUDDLE! BUT– BUT– HER MOM WANTS
TO START ME IN VARSITY TOMORROW, BUT SHE WANTS TO START TOMORROW, AND IF I TELL HER,
THAT’S GONNA RUIN OUR DATE. – DUDE, WHAT DO I DO?
– Ki: BRIAN? KI? BRIAN, DO YOU HAVE
ANY HOMEWORK? WHAT? WHERE’S TED? OH, I DON’T KNOW,
AND I DON’T CARE. I JUST FINISHED HIS HOMEWORK,
AND I NEED MORE. – Ki: WHAT DO I DO?
– HAVE YOU TRIED–? WELCOME TO VARSITY, BRIAN! HA HA HA HA HA! ( muffled cries ) Ki: BRIAN? BRIAN? BRIAN? ONE SECOND, BRIAN, I HAVE
ANOTHER PHONE CALL COMING IN. HELLO, KI’S PHONE.
THIS IS KI SPEAKING. HELLO, KI. THIS ISN’T
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE
DOING YOUR HOMEWORK. THIS IS NOT MINE,
I PROMISE. OH, IF IT’S
NOT YOURS, THAT’S– WAIT A MINUTE. NOT DOING YOUR HOMEWORK– ISN’T THAT THE HOMEWORK
I ASSIGNED YOU? ( laughing ) “F” STANDS FOR MORE
THAN JUST FREDDIE, KI. IT ALSO
STANDS FOR “YOU FAIL”! – NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
– YES. ( laughing ) YOU’RE FAILING
MY CLASS, KI. NO. OH, GOD. BRIAN? SO… YOU’RE STARTING TOMORROW. ( sighs ) YEAH. SORRY.
I WANTED TO TELL YOU, I JUST… I MEAN, YOU SAID YES
TO US DATING– OR AT LEAST
GOING ON A DATE– AND I… I DIDN’T WANT TO RUIN IT. YEAH, I GET IT. YOU’RE PROBABLY
PRETTY PISSED. OH, YEAH. WELL, IF IT MAKES YOU
FEEL BETTER, I HAD A WEDGIE BEFORE
THEY PUT ME UP HERE, AND EVERYTHING I DO
MAKES IT WORSE. WELL, SETTLE IN. YOU’VE GOT A LONG NIGHT
AHEAD OF YOU, AND AN ENTIRE PLAYBOOK
TO LEARN. IF I GROVEL SOME MORE,
WILL YOU CUT ME DOWN? AND RUIN 40 YEARS
OF TRADITION?
FAT CHANCE. ( clears throat )
OKAY. PAGE ONE. THE PANAMA
PINCER FORMATION. YOU HAVE TWO
GUYS ON THE LEFT, AND THE REST OF YOUR TEAM
STAYS BACK ON BASE. AT SECOND 30, YOU SEND OUT
THE REST OF THE TEAM… GOOD MORNING. OH, CRAP,
I FORGOT MY HOMEWORK! SO BOTH ASSAULTS
FLANK LEFT. EXACTLY. PIE PUPPY!
WHAT’S GOING ON? THE LAW’S VERDICT
CAME IN. THE LAW, IN REGARDS
TO THE CHARGE OF AIMBOTTING
IN THE FIRST DEGREE, WE FIND YOU… GUILTY. ON BEHALF OF “FIELD OF FIRE”
CUSTOMER SUPPORT, YOUR ACCOUNT IS HEREBY BANNED
FOR A PERIOD OF NO SHORTER THAN, LIKE, FOREVER. ( general exclamations ) WHAT?! ALSO, THE VGHS VARSITY FPS TEAM
IS STRIPPED OF ITS VICTORIES AND BANNED FROM THIS YEAR’S
HIGH SCHOOL CHAMPIONSHIP. WHAT?! THANK YOU FOR CONTACTING
CUSTOMER SUPPORT, AND MY GOD HAVE MERCY
ON YOUR SOUL! WAIT.
SO DOES THAT MEAN…? IT MEANS
THE SEASON’S OVER. VARSITY CAN’T EVEN
GO TO PLAYOFFS. WELL, PEACE, GUYS. I’M GOING TO YALE. HEARD THEY NEED A SNIPER. DID YOU EVEN READ
YOUR CONTRACT, MARY? YOU SIGNED ON FOR A SEASON. – NO DICE.
– DON’T YOU DICE ME. ERNIE, IT’S BEEN REAL. HAVE YOUR LAWYERS
CALL MY LAWYERS. Ki:
THAT WON’T BE NECESSARY. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? A LOOPHOLE. ( powering down ) ( indistinct idle chatter ) AND IT LOOKS LIKE THIS GAME
IS FINALLY GETTING UNDER– WAIT A MINUTE.
IS THIS THE J.V. TEAM? WHAT THE HECK IS
MARY MATRIX THINKING? IF SHE JUST RECEIVED THE SAME
NEWS BULLETIN I DID, SHE’S THINKING, THANK GOD
FOR WEIRD STUDENT KI SWAN, WHO JUST DISCOVERED
A LOOPHOLE ALLOWING J.V.
TO TAKE VARSITY’S PLACE IN VGHS’S BID
FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP. I GUESS SINCE TECHNICALLY
THE CSA’S RULING APPLIES ONLY TO VARSITY,
THE J.V. SQUAD CAN DO– WELL, WHO CARES.
IT MAKES FOR GREAT TV. THANKS FOR WATCHING! IT’S JUST LIKE
ANY OTHER GAME, GUYS. Jumpin’ Jacks:
EXCEPT WE LOSE ALL OUR GAMES. YEAH, WELL, NOT THIS TIME. – Jenny: LET’S GO!
– All: VIDEO GAME! ( automatic gunfire ) ( cheers and applause ) – GO FOR THE BOMB.
– THIRTY SECONDS TO PLANT. YEAH! YES! Spectators: CYBERDWARVES!
CYBERDWARVES! KI, THERE YOU ARE. HAVE YOU SEEN MY…
BACKPACK? OH. ALL RIGHT.
LET’S DO THIS THING. OH, WAIT, UM… I ALREADY… TED, UH… BE THAT WHAT I THINK IT BE? BY MY TROTH! THIS IS… AMAZING. “A”-PLUS. THE BEST PAPER
I’VE EVER LOOKED AT. SO MANY WORDS. AH. IT PAINS ME TO ADMIT,
OLD FRIEND, THAT I DOUBTED YOU. PLEASE
ACCEPT MY APOLOGIES… YEAH, UH, AND MY CORNDOG. Spectators: YEAH! Girl: WE LOVE YOU, GAMES! THEY’RE COMING.
LOCK IT DOWN. WATCH OUT FOR SNIPER FIRE. HA HA! YOU TALKIN’ TO–? ( audible reactions ) ( cheering ) WHERE’S THE BOMB? ( pinging sound ) ( pinging sound ) TIE GAME, AND VGHS SCORES BY THE SKIN
OF THEIR LUCKY UNDERPANTS. THEY’LL NEED MORE THAN
UNDERPANTS TO CLOSE THE DEAL AGAINST THIS POWERFUL
CYBERDWARF DEFENSE IN THE FINAL ROUND. D.K.! TAKE IT BACK. I DIDN’T WRITE THAT PAPER. I DON’T KNOW WHO DID, BUT…
I’M REALLY SORRY. I WANTED TO DO IT,
I JUST… DIDN’T. THERE’S NO EXCUSE.
I’M A BUTT. OH, THEODORE. A BUTT YE MAY BE,
BUT AN HONEST BUTT AT THAT. AH. THE CORNDOG IS YOURS. THE PAPER IS MINE. BY MONDAY. YOU GOT IT! YEAH! WHOO! CORNDOGS! ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
FINAL ROUND. PLEASE TELL ME THAT SOMEBODY
READ MY PLAYBOOK. – I DID.
– I DID. SPECIAL DELIVERY. Mary Matrix:
GOT IT? GO! ( automatic gunfire ) TANK UP FRONT. GAMES,
MORIARTY, MAKE SOME NOISE. BOOM. ( battle cries ) AAAAHHHH! – OHH!
– AAH! ( cheers and applause ) SPLIT! THEY’RE FLANKING
LEFT AND RIGHT– ( gunshot ) ( automatic gunfire ) ( cheers and applause ) ( audible reactions ) HERE I COME! LOOK OUT
FOR JUMPIN’ JACKS! AAAHHH! ( strange, metallic groan ) ( spectators react ) Students: VGHS! VGHS! FINAL CHANCE FOR VGHS. IT ALL COMES DOWN
TO JENNY MATRIX AND BRIAN D. BRIAN,
THEY’RE ON TO YOU! DON’T BLOW UP!
DON’T BLOW UP! JENNY, GET READY FOR
THE SHOT OF YOUR L– UNH! OHH! VGHS WINS! ( cheers and applause ) Mary Matrix: HEY! PRACTICE IS AT FIVE A.M.
DON’T BE LATE. NICE LOOPHOLE, KI. CONSIDER YOURSELF OFF
RHYTHM GAMING. BUT I DIDN’T FIND
A LOOPHOLE FOR, UM… KI. HE MEANS
A LOOPHOLE TO HIS HEART. I HATE BOTH OF YOU. I WON! YOU WON! YES! WE WON! OF COURSE WE DID! WELCOME TO VARSITY. ( chuckles )
THANKS. YOU TOO. SO… PIZZA OR PASTA, HMM? BRIAN, I CAN’T. IT SUCKS, BUT WE’RE
ON VARSITY NOW, AND MY MOM’S THE COACH, AND I’M THE CAPTAIN
OF VARSITY. I HAVE TO GET US
TO PLAYOFFS. IT’S JUST– IT’S– IT’S TOO MUCH. PROBABLY HATE ME NOW,
HUH? NO, JENNY,
I DON’T HATE YOU. I REALLY LIKE YOU. I KNOW. FRIENDS? ( sighs ) I’LL SEE YOU
AT PRACTICE, CAPTAIN. THIS IS GONNA BE
A WEIRD YEAR, BRIAN. YOU SAID IT. YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS? AS LONG AS THE THREE
OF US ARE TOGETHER– TED! GET BACK TO WORK! NO QUESTING UNTIL
YOU HAVE TEN PAGES. OKAY, OKAY. SORRY. ( soft knock at door ) SORRY, BUDDY.
YOU JUST TOLD US
TO KEEP YOU FOCUSED. HEY, BRIAN D!
MY BEST BUDDY!
WHAT’S UP? SO, MARY MATRIX MADE
YOU AND ME ROOMMATES. ISN’T THAT AWESOME? PUT ALL OF
MY STUFF EVERYWHERE.

Top 10 FREE iPhone & iPad Games of 2019 | whatoplay


10. Revolve8
Our list gets us started with a real-time strategy from SEGA Games. Revolve8 combines cardgame mechanics into
their tactical gameplay, which makes it a little similar to the popular Clash Royale. This time, it’s wrapped in anime aesthetics
that will be attractive to any fan of JRPGs. Build your deck out of their roster of interesting
heroes and learn to make use of your skills at the perfect time to maximize damage. Just to add to the interest and excitement
is the fact that famed Castlevania designer, Koji Igarashi, took part in designing the
characters. As a SEGA mobile game, Revolve8 looks really
good but it’s not exactly the groundbreaking original title we could’ve had. Still, it’s a great choice for fans of Clash
Royale gameplay and JRPG aesthetics. It has a playscore of 8.68. 9. Langrisser
A name that might be familiar to long-time fans of the role-playing genre. A classic game first released in 1991, Masaya
Games’ tactical RPG has found its way to the modern age in this free to play iOS port. In this new mobile version, Langrisser becomes
a blend of old and new. It lets you revisit the 300 levels of the
original game, as well all the modern conveniences of guild battles and boss raids together with
friends in real-time tactical battles. This new Langrisser tells an original story
with an all-star cast of voiceover legends. Thanks to all these new changes, saving El
Sallia from the looming darkness once more will be a treat on the portable platform. If you’re looking for a mobile gacha game
that could compete with today’s best SRPGs, Langrisser is a great choice with a playscore
of 8.69. 8. AFK Arena
Still in the realm of role-playing games, Lilith Games offers a solution to RPG enthusiasts
with an itch to scratch, but without the time for it. AFK Arena, as their title suggests, allows
you to go on marauding adventures using a crew of varying classes–with you, or without. In this game, you’re free to wander about
doing whatever it is you should be doing, while your collection of heroes does the job
for you. But, AFK Arena does a good job of making you
want to stay. Its artistic 2D visuals are pleasing to the
eyes, and this attention to detail can be seen most in their array of heroes and their
respective animations. Take on the quests and challenges of their
storyline or battle it out in their PvP arenas. Offering a little bit of both, AFK Arena gets
a playscore of 8.72. 7. Godzilla Defense Force
One of Japan’s longest-running kaiju franchise has made its comeback in the new age. Along with the brand new monster movie franchise,
NEXON jumps into the cash cow bandwagon with a first-hand experience at bringing down strange,
colossal beasts. Based on TOHO’s official IP, Godzilla Defense
Force features the series’ mightiest Kaiju, from Mothra to Rodan, to Godzilla himself. Defeat them in battle and you’ll get to keep
them as Monster Cards to use their skills and buffs in your next fights. The waves are relentless and it does a great
job of building up anticipation for the next big boss. In this way, Godzilla Defense Force is immersive
and engaging. Make your way through their many awesome monsters
and tap away to defend your cities with a playscore of 8.73. 6. Forgotten Anne
Already a beloved title on the PC and consoles (PS4, Switch, and Xbox One), Thoroughline
Games’ hit adventure breaches the mobile with this iOS release. If you’re one of the many fans of Studio Ghibli’s
enchanting films, Forgotten Anne might just be a perfect fit for you. Steeped in the wonders of magic realism, the
game tells tales of a world where objects take sentience. Seeing it through the eyes of Anne, we get
to decode the strange phenomena as she herself takes on her journey home. On top of their Spirited Away-like atmosphere,
what makes Forgotten Anne stand out is their uniquely engaging platform puzzles as well
as the charm of their well-written narrative. A bit of bad news: the game is only free to
start and you’ll have to shell out some money to see how it through. Still, its free chapter has enough touching
moments to show you exactly what you’re in for. It has a playscore of 8.74. 5. Bombastic Brothers – Top Squad
Now for a taste of the old Contra days. The run and gun shooter has made its way back
and it looks better than ever. Bombastic Brothers commits to the modern age
with its cartoon visuals, peppered with satisfying explosions that will fill anybody’s desire
for destruction. It doesn’t exactly reinvent the wheel, but
it reintroduces a missed genre with a host of improvements in graphics and game modes. There’s plenty of variety in the Bombastic
Brother’s gunfights. Take on their thrilling campaign and its many
mission types, master the art of shooting in their endless modes, or show everyone who’s
boss in the Global PvP battles. All that against their roster of characters,
the artillery of guns, and tons and tons of loot. It has a playscore of 8.75. 4. BTS WORLD
Now a global sensation, the Bangtan Boys, or BTS as they’re popularly known, has taken
over the mobile too. BTS World is their official game and it mixes
different methods to tell the story of each of the nine members and their relationship
with each other. Go through visual novel narratives, short
films, video calls, and even texts. It lets you get to know each of their lovable
members and makes you feel that much closer to them. BTS World also lets you dress up the members
as you please. Go through their wardrobes and switch up their
hairstyles into your whichever is your ultimate BTS phase. It’s a charming look at each character and
it’s got enough content to fulfill even those who aren’t part of the massive BTS Army. It has a playscore of 8.9. 3. Sky: Children of the Light
We’ve probably all heard of Journey, that indie game that still ranks 6th in the PlayStation
4 top charts after almost 4 years. Well, the makers of that game have gone on
to create equally amazing games, and their latest happens to be another atmospheric adventure. It is perhaps one of the most breathtaking
mobile games so far and it’s something you can experience alone, or with the aid of your
friends. Sky puts on a pretty minimalist art style. But with it, Sky manages to do so much thanks
to the backing of its vast explorable lands and powerful soundtracks. Uncover the mysteries of the land, evolve
along with it, and prepare to take flight. If you want to support the developers, you
can do so by getting the game’s Season Pass. If not, Sky is just as beautiful–or more
so–as a completely free to play experience with a playscore of 8.91. 2. Chess Rush
We are in the advent of auto battlers and this year, Chess Rush manages to beat out
even their more original competition. For the uninitiated, auto chess focuses on
strategy and battle preparation where you, the player, have no direct control over what
happens mid fight. All you have to do is choose from a pool randomly
generated units and managing them to the best of your abilities. Putting rush into the auto chess formula,
it’s definitely the more fast-paced and fun alternative. The battles are tough, fair, and fairly short–so
much so that their 10 minutes or less formula is one of their biggest selling points. For beginners to the Autochess world, Chess
Rush might just be the best place to start thanks to its casual yet rewarding gameplay. It has a playscore of 8.92. 1. ANOTHER EDEN
The mobile hemisphere finds itself in possession of one of its most powerful crossovers. In Another Eden, some of the best minds of
the JRPG generations came together to bring about a title that everyone can enjoy. Play as one of their brave heroes and journey
through time and space to save the future form the darkness. It’s a pretty typical JRPG tale as far anyone’s
concerned, but it was written by Masato Kato who earned his reputation for writing the
script to Chrono Trigger. Him, along with the musical talents Yasunori
Mitsuda and Shunsuke Tsuchiya, make for an RPG title you can’t miss. As a free-to-play game, it’s unfortunately
injected with gacha elements that might take away from an otherwise fun, premium experience. It has a playscore of 8.95.

Fortnite maker Epic Games facing lawsuit

October 8, 2019 | Articles, Blog | 100 Comments

Fortnite maker Epic Games facing lawsuit


>>WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF ADDICTION, MAKER OF FORTNITE HOLDING LEGAL TROUBLE CLAIMING GAME IS TOO ADDICTIVE. LAUREN: LAWSUIT COMPARES FORTNITE TO COCAINE. I WAS READING IT –>>THAT’S A PRETTY SERIOUS CLAIM AND THEY HAVE A SERIOUS LAWSUIT AGAINST THEM, MAKERS OF FORD NIGHT EPIC GAMES, THEY ARE SAYING THAT EPIC USED PSYCHOLOGISTS TO USE FORTNITE AS ADDICTIVE AS POSSIBLE. WE HAVE HEARD STORIES THROUGH THE WORLD OF VIDEO GAMES FOR OVER A DECADE OF PEOPLE WHO START PLAYING ONLINE FANTASY GAMES AND JUST DIVE IN HEAD FIRST AND DON’T COME OUT, PEOPLE LOSING THEIR JOBS. THE ISSUE HERE, CONCERN HERE, YOUNGER CHILDREN, TEENAGERS THAT BRAINS AREN’T DEVELOPED, YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH, SOME PARENTS ARE STRUGGLING IN THE STORIES, STRUGGLING WITH THAT. SET LIMITATIONS AND THEY ARE SNEAKING AROUND FINDING OUT HOW TO PLAY THE GAMES. IT’S A VERY SERIOUS ISSUE, WE HAVE SEEN IT TIME AND AGAIN, THE CONCERN IS ALWAYS GOING TO FALL ON IS IT THE GAME-MAKER’S FAULT THAT THE GAME IS ADDICTIVE. THEY ARE USING PSYCHOLOGISTS TO MAKE THE GAME MORE ADDICTIVE. I THINK THE LEGAL ARGUMENT –>>DRUG MAKERS ARE NOW RESPONSIBLE FOR OPIOID ADDICTION, FORGET PERSONAL CHOICE TO TAKE THE OPIOIDS IF I’M THE DRUG MAKER, ALCOHOL COMPANIES, CIGARETTE MAKERS, WE’VE HAD CLASS ACTION LAWSUITS AND SOME SETTLE TO GET OUT OF IT.>>WE COULD SEE — THE ARGUING COULD BE MADE BUT IT’S ADDICTIVE. THEY WITHIN THE YOU TO BINGE-WATCH THE SHOWS AND YOU KEEP WATCHING. WHERE DOES PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY COME INTO THIS? WHEN YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT KIDS AND TEENAGERS, THAT’S A DIFFERENT STORY, YOUR PARTICIPANTS SHOULD KEEP AN EYE AND SETTING TIME LIMITS. LAUREN: SOME KIDS GET TUTORS SO THEIR KIDS CAN COMPETE.

Games That Embarrass The “AAA” Industry (The Jimquisition)


(stuttering) – Markets. (applause) (upbeat music) ♪ Born different ♪ ♪ Born innocent ♪ ♪ Born perfect, I’m not like you ♪ ♪ I’m a born lover ♪ – Today, we’re going to
talk about some good games that do good things. Can you believe it? Oh my, yes. These are games in or around
the so-called Triple A space that do not behave like
so-called Triple A games. And in exhibiting distinctly
non-Triple A behavior they absolutely shame,
humiliate, and embarrass big budget’s mainstream
so-called Triple A games. Some of them do it by
offering complete experiences, some of them do it with
a wealth of content, some of them do it with cosmetics. Oh, and speaking of cosmetics. (arcade game music) Oh that’s much better. That is much, much better. ♪ Don’t you wish your
girlfriend was hot like me ♪ (claps) ♪ Don’t you wish your
girlfriend wore a hat like me ♪ (claps) – Playing Borderlands 3 was
something of a revelation, not because it’s particularly
remarkable or brilliant as a game. It’s fine in general. It’s more Borderlands, with a
few extra gimmicks tacked on and that’s totally acceptable. No, no, no, no, no The revelation comes from
how it rewards the player not with gambling mechanics, not with the chance to pay
more money to earn more stuff No, Borderlands 3 does something
practically revolutionary in the modern Triple A gaming space. It actually rewards you for playing it! For just playing it! Borderlands 3 constantly
showers players with loot and riches to encourage them to play more. It is one of several games
that have come out recently that downright embarrass
the mainstream game industry by reminding us of what
games used to be like and what they could be again
if most publishers weren’t such grasping, money-hungry parasites. If you’ve played a Borderlands game, you know loot is a big
part of the experience. There are thousands and
thousands of guns with different rarity rankings, stat
changes, and unique features. Basically, a dungeon crawling
“loot-em-up” like Diablo but guns instead of swords. You can already imagine how this makes it ripe for exploitation by
unscrupulous publishers. Many of which have their
own Looter/Shooters, but really drab, repetitive,
awful takes on the idea. Trash like Anthem or The
Division where you just get incrementally better
pistols or assault rifles, really boring stuff, and anyone who wants a splash of color or
variety in their experience has to buy into the micro-transactions. Despite Borderlands being
published by one of the greediest corporate wank-barons out there, Borderlands 3 has managed
to remain a Looter/Shooter without loot boxes. A game primed for live service bullshit, but none of the monetary trappings. More than that, however, Borderlands 3 mixes in cosmetic rewards, actual fucking cosmetics
with its loot drops Yes, unlike most modern games,
where you can be expected to pay real money for a
new hat or color scheme, you can find skins for
your characters and guns, by just playing the damn
game and it feels awesome! Unlocking a new hairstyle or
skin is rare in Borderlands 3 but every time it happens, it
feels special, extra rewarding because you got something
unique and unexpected and cool among the usual avalanche of gumdrops. Borderlands 3 is inherently
more rewarding because go figure, it features
such a variety of rewards. Even though the game
itself is as a Shooter is not all that remarkable, the sense of reward absolutely stands out. Unlike with most Triple A (gibberish) video games, in Borderlands
3 I can take a character and make them look exactly like Scare Glow, the evil ghost of Skeletor, which was a ghost that
worked for Skeletor, it wasn’t Skeletor’s ghost that was eventually cleared up but look, here’s Scare Glow,
the evil ghost of Skeletor. Compare to Borderlands 3 to Overwatch, a game many would say is
objectively a better game but it’s a game where your
potential unlocks are found in a loot box system littered
with disappointing items and duplicates that exist to
try and frustrate the player. In Overwatch, you’re drip fed
the occasional free loot box as a prize for leveling up, but so many of the loot box
openings are deliberate letdowns robbing you of your sense of reward, in the hopes that you’ll spend money and chase the high you were denied. The high that you are
entitled to with someone who just leveled up, but didn’t
really get a reward for it. The free-to-play game Apex
Legends does this as well, it drip feeds the occasional loot box, but overtime it dishes out
these rewards less and less, and the loot boxes are, like Overwatch, filled to the brim with crap. Many games do this and it’s
something I’ve termed the Unreward System, a devious
scheme that does what video games are not suppose to do, disappoint the very
people playing the game. These days disappointment is a commodity, letting the player down, frustrating them, willfully cheating them
out of a reward that they have earned by playing, is
all part and parcel of the manipulative micro-transaction economy: exasperate and frustrate the player, get them chasing their
sense of achievement, their sense of, as EA calls
it, “Pride and Accomplishment”. In Borderlands 3, you can just, you know get stuff as you play
constantly and consistently. Even if a loot drop doesn’t
give you anything good, there’ll be another loot drop
literally around the corner and the in-game currency, all
of it actual in-game currency, rather than premium Monopoly
money, is given at such a rate that any item you want from
in-game storefronts is pretty affordable and only requires
more gameplay to achieve. Folks say that micro-transactions
for skins and costumes are fine because they’re just cosmetic. But Borderlands 3 demonstrates
what bullshit that excuse is. People claim cosmetic
mirco-transactions are fine because they don’t affect
gameplay, but they do. The affect cosmetic rewards
have on Borderlands 3 and ones’ enjoyment of it is tangible. No, it doesn’t make
you better at the game, but that’s only one way we judge gameplay and acting like its the only metric is being willfully blinkered. Unlocking cosmetics in Borderlands
3 always feels special. It feels like a unique treat. That is gameplay being affected because that positive experience
inherently impacts how I feel while playing the game. In short, it feels good to
unlock a cosmetic reward by playing it, which is
how it felt in many games before cosmetics were portioned off and placed squarely behind a pay-wall. Nowadays, cosmetics are used, not to give players a positive feeling, but to taunt and tease them
from behind said pay-wall. This is important to note. It’s important to contrast
the positive feeling one gets from Borderlands 3’s
expansive and varied loophole against the average
Ubisoft or ActiVision game. Other games have deliberately
elected to take a genuinely positive experience out of their game, in order to sell it back
to you for quick cash. Mainstream game studios
decided to make their games inherently less special,
less rewarding, less fun. They took out the concept
of finding rewards via self, of being
surprised and delighted, by a random drop or cool unlock. Now, you just buy the
shit you want outright in a grubby little transaction. No actual reward. Just another purchase in a
game you already purchased. No cool surprise for the
player, unless that surprise is squirreled away inside
a fucking loot box. Where Borderlands 3
constantly showers the player with rewards both mechanically
and cosmetically , most games in the mainstream
space now reserve their best items for their premium storefronts. Borderlands 3 exposes
how downright withholding modern Triple A video games have become. Just look at how soulless and tacky Ubisoft’s Ghost Recon Breakpoint is. Barely any aspect of the
games hasn’t been monetized: weapon upgrades, in-game cash
vehicles, crafting materials and a massive range of cosmetic items have all been price-tagged and sold to the player at a premium in a boring, sloth of a game that sells time savers to make the interminable
grind more bearable. It was even selling skill
points, outright skill points to just buy your character’s
progression until the backslash forced Ubisoft to do a
u-turn on that one element. Christ, Ghost Recon Breakpoint is shit. I never once felt the need for
time savers in Borderlands 3 because the experience
of playing and shooting and getting rewards was compelling enough that it didn’t feel like a grind. And call me old fashioned, but isn’t that how games are
supposed to fucking feel? They’re not meant to feel like a grind, like a goddamn chore. This is the difference
between a game designed to sell micro-transactions
and a game designed to just sell a good honest fun experience. One’s a job, one’s fun. And I’d rather pay for
fun than to do a job. Ghost Recon Breakpoint is fucking shit. Anyway, I didn’t want to
focus on shit games this week. We’re going to talk about good
games, games that do good. So, here we go again. Another game that’s made waves recently for its cosmetically
rewarding nature is Code Vein, an anime flavored Souls-alike
from Namco Bandai. Not being a Looter/Shooter, or any kind of loot-based game really, one doesn’t actually find cosmetic rewards while playing the game. Instead, players are given
an absolutely incredible character creator up front,
which allows them to make the anime bishounen or waifu
of their dreams and boy oh boy, did I make me a very pretty
boy with some pretty makeup and tight, tight pants. Very tight pants! And I made his clothes all pink and purple from a color palette that has
more range than Mariah Carey. The sheer depth of
creativity one can indulge in when making a character for Code Vein mirrors the scope of a
character creation system in another Namco property, Soulcalibur. While you can’t get quite as
wacky as you can in that game, Code Vein, nonetheless, gives you an overwhelming amount of flexibility. You can take accessories
and put them anywhere on your body you choose,
from all manner of gloves, glasses, cat ears, headphones. I wasted over an hour in the
character creation because there was just so much
to tinker around with and I wanted my beautiful
boy to look just right. Carefully applying my lipstick,
cycling through hair options with giddy indecision,
turning up the dial on the flamboyant coloration to find the right amount of eye-searing gaudiness. But this was all a mere
hors d’oeuvre, mere prologue when I found the goddamn hat. And if there’s one thing that this video should make abundantly clear, it’s that I am a bugger for a hat. I was blown away when I
realized that I could put a big fuck-off Carmen San Diego
hat on my character’s head. A big old hat with shades of Alucard, like something you’d find in Bloodborne, but massive and customizable
and gloriously absurd. Once I found the big hat, it was over. All other headwear was
null and void for me. And you want to know what’s sad? You want to know what’s pathetic? I was shocked and grateful for it. Thankful that the game
allowed my character to wear such an audacious hat without
charging me money for it. Me! Grateful! For a fucking hat. I mean, hats are some of the easiest micro-transactions fodder out there. It’s relatively simple and
unobtrusive for a developer to stick a hat on a character’s head and hats are always rather eye-catching. So, they’re tempting properties. Hats were hugely popular as
random drops in Team Fortress 2. And the game industry realized
pretty soon after that: “Hey, you can make money
selling these things.” If you want more than
a shitty little helmet in The Division 2, you are
expected to engage with its fully stocked premium store. But here I was, gazing upon
the majesty and splendor of my massive fucking anime
hat and my appreciation was off the bloody charts. Yet again there was a tangible
impact on gameplay here. No, it didn’t make my
character faster or stronger. I didn’t deal more damage, my
health bar wasn’t expanded, my massive pink hat didn’t
make me a better player. Lord knows it didn’t. But it made me a more enthusiastic player, a more contented player,
a more satisfied player because I had made my
character, in my color scheme, wearing my idea of tastefully
tasteless headwear. I felt intrinsically
more invested in the game because I was able to
invest my time into crafting a sublimely splendiferous pretty boy, whose vibrant colors and
nonsense hat would leave a mark, a deep scarring mark on any co-op players
I happen to encounter. Throughout my time with Code Vein, I would constantly stop to
admire my extravagant work, made even better by the
fact that you can return to a home-base area and
further tweak your design at literally any time. Code Vein happens to be a very
enjoyable game on top of that though, it certainly not
got a super wide appeal and it’s something of an acquired taste. It’s a complete experience without aggressive or predatory monetization, giving players outright
tools to visually alter their appearance on a whim, while
providing a surprisingly deep and complex approach to Souls-like combat. It has its issues. It’s relies on cheap tricks
like ambushes and ridiculous enemy tracking and pitfalls a bit too much and its cut scenes can be
irritatingly pointless. But it’s a game that, like Borderlands 3, offers a comprehensive amount
of content and somehow looks generous just for being a full
product, sold at full price. And it looks generous because
we’re being trained steadily to believe that it’s acceptable
for games to not be that. To no be feature complete. To not offer the full
suite of available content, yet still ask for the
same amount of money. I made a point a long time
ago and it’s worth repeating. It’s not like us to repeat
points on The Jimquisition, but here’s a point worth repeating: If cosmetics didn’t matter, Fashion Souls wouldn’t be a thing. People wouldn’t flock to the internet, flock to online communities to show off how they’ve used armor
pieces and gear pieces in Dark Souls to make fashion statements. People wouldn’t parade around in Dark Souls’ own online
modes, showing off. There are people that would do Fashion Souls processions in-game. They will enter someone
else’s game, wearing whatever fancy clothes and armor
pieces they’ve found, and just parade about the place. And that’s fun, and that is gameplay! That is a special form of
gameplay, is making a character you love the look of and
sharing that look elsewhere. How is that not gameplay? How does that not affect gameplay? The way you play and enjoy a game. It’s important. Cosmetics are important. Video game publishers
know they’re important, know they can slap a monetary value on it, and therefore, take all that
fun out make an inherently worse game, and sell you back what used to be in these
games as standards. Cosmetics matter! Matter! See, they matter. Goggles on this are making clacky noises. I have to fix that. Meanwhile, and I’m going
to take a diversion from the cosmetic here. You can take a look at the recent output of publisher Focus Home Interactive. Focus’ library these past
few years has been doing a tremendous job of keeping the idea of the mid-tier game alive. Games that don’t boast the
massive budget of a major Triple A game, but aren’t
small indie experiences either. Last generation and
generations before were stuffed full of these mid-tier experiences. Offering all sorts of
curious ideas and particular sometimes niche adventures. Most mainstream publishers
having adopted an all-or-nothing approach where they want
every game release to make all the money in the world
rather than just some money, have starved their audiences
of mid-tier level games. But Focus Home Interactive’s
roster of inventive studios has filled that hole with
enthusiastic thrusting. While BioWare was wasting
its and everyone else’s time with their live service garbage of Anthem, Don’t Nod Entertainment
and Spiders were giving us two rock solid BioWare flavored
RPGs in Vampyr and GreedFall Games with creative premises
and all the weird storytelling leveling up and hitting stuff
that you could hope for. Do you want an exquisite story
driven stealth action game with fantastic character development and an incredible foreboding atmosphere? I give you A Plague Tale:
Innocence, one of the best examples of such a game
I’ve ever friggin played. One of the best games
I’ve ever played, period. How about Call of Cthulhu? It’s not brilliant but
it’s a fun and moody little game about investigation. It’s a solid 7 out of 10, making it as good as Breath of the Wild. Focus even has its own
Souls-like series in The Surge, a Sci-Fi take on the subgenre, and The Surge 2 is fucking excellent. I didn’t even care that
much for the first one, but the sequel is, in my
opinion, utterly amazing! Even when most of the textures don’t load in the fucking thing,
it’s still incredible! The developers making Focus’
games are so damn creative and they offer complete games that last hours and hours and hours. They’re not as pretty
looking as mainstream games. They don’t boast massive
budgets and they are often a touch on the janky or buggy
side, and yet, they still feel more finished than most big budget games, offering a robust wealth of content and often at a cheaper
price than some of the underbaked, overly monetized
live service crap from an arrogantly self styled
Triple A publisher. The existence of Borderlands 3, Code Vein, and Focus Home Interactive’s
library should be a fucking embarrassment for
the mainstream industry. Anyone who’s worked on a grinding,
unrewarding, unfulfilling sliver of shallow trash from
EA, ActiVision, or UbiSoft should look at these games
and feel downright humiliated that they can’t produce
something so gratifying and worthwhile without first
charging even more money for a shallow facimily of satisfaction. There are games proving that
it’s viable and possible to make games that simply
sell themselves and provide exhilarating and encouraging
gameplay in exchange for that one time purchase. They show how restricted,
stripped down, and undermining modern games have become. And as game publishers work
overtime to scrub our memories of these sorts of productions,
it’s worth remembering they’re still out there. Games used to feel like
Borderlands 3, Code Vein, like Vampyr. All the time! It’s how they’re suppose to
feel and that is why these games I’ve talked about today put
the entire Triple A industry to fucking shame. Now I would like this video
to be a lot more positive than it is but unfortunately
there are caveats attached to some of the games we talked about. Borderlands 3, of course, I
don’t think we need to go too far into it, GearBox’s software history. The history of its CEO Randy Pitchford are a matter of public record. This show has talked about the
behavior of Randy Pitchford and the publisher 2K Games many
many times before, but it is how they, ya know, Randy
has been credibly accused of physically assaulting an
employee in a hotel lobby. He’s an asshole on
Twitter and he’s a liar, and 2K Games basically loves
to swing its legal dick around bullies people, he’s incredibly greedy, has turned NBA 2K as a
series into little more than a glorified free-to-play
mobile game except it charges a full premium game price tag. So that’s a bit of a sad thing. And then there’s Focus Home Interactive, I would have liked to
have done an entire video praising Focus to high heaven,
but there’s a reason why I talked specifically about its
developers more than it as a publisher because it as
a publisher has been, well, a bit of an asshole of late. Frogwares, the studio known
most famously for the weird janky, to be honest,
Sherlock Holmes games and the wonderfully awful, amusingly, entertainingly shite The Sinking City, basically
had any of their games that Focus published removed from storefronts and Focus will not give them
the rights to sell the game. Even though Frogwares owns the IP to their games, Focus doesn’t. The distribution agreement
has ended, but Focus said its got some new policy in
place now where it won’t allow developers to sell
games they literally own. I have a video on this
on the channel elsewhere. Do check it out. Although I do erroneously
say that Focus published The Sinking City, it did not. That was another publisher whose name I’ve now completely forgotten. So, this is useless information. But anyway. Do sort that out Focus, because
I’ve said many times before I love your output. I love what your studios are making. I think they are important games in an industry so infested, so ruined by a lot of modern development, concessions that have been made
in the name of monetization. I’m just incredibly
disappointed that you’re doing one of your studios dirty like this. Or at least one of the studios
you work with, that you treat them like that,
because without your studios, without the likes of Frogwares,
the like of Spiders, Cyanide Don’t Nod, you’d be nothing. Ultimately, you’d be nothing. So, sort it out, yeah? Don’t keep disappointing us and if you find some time
in your busy schedule, Focus you can join the rest of the nation and thank God for me. (funky alternative jazz) (funky alternative jazz) ♪Everybody’s thinkin’ ’bout me! ♪ (funky saxophone scale)

This Is What a “Second-Person” Video Game Would Look Like


– [Narrator] Most 3D
character-driven video games can be pretty easily placed
into one of two categories: either first person or third person. In a first-person game,
you see the game world through the actual eyes
of the player character as if you were that character, and in a third-person game
you see the player character from the outside, often
from behind their back or from a fixed asymmetric perspective. But the existence of
these two perspectives begs the question: if this is what a
first-person game looks like and this is what a third-person
video game looks like, what exactly would
second-person look like? Now, I’m not the first
person to wonder about this. The question of whether or not a second-person shooter
could actually exist is one that has plagued
video game message boards just about as long as
the Internet has existed. It’s also served as the premise for some pretty good comedy
sketches over the years, like this one from Mega64. – [Announcer] Introducing the world’s first second-person shooter. (video game music) (rock music)
– No, no no no! – [Narrator] And this one from The Onion. – To enter second-person shooter mode, you just simply adjust
the narrative slider from first to second. – You are walking down a long corridor. Suddenly, a Nazi leaps out
from around the doorway and unleashes a hell of machine
gun fire in your direction. – [Narrator] But to help
us actually figure out what a second-person game would really be, I think it would be helpful
to look at this grammatically. In written language, the term first person denotes any writing
where the point of view uses phrases like I or my to tell the story from the
perspective of the protagonist. Third-person writing, on the other hand, uses third-person pronouns, for example, he went this way,
she went that way, et cetera, to talk about characters
from an outside perspective. Now, second-person writing does exist, but it’s kind of a weird one. In second person, the
primary pronoun used is you. You do this, you go there, et cetera. The second person is
actually a lot less common in narrative writing and it’s actually something
you’re more likely to encounter in, say, a list of instructions or a choose-your-own-adventure book. Now, the analogous video
game camera perspectives for first and third-person
writing are obvious, but what about for second-person? We know what an I game looks like and we know what a he game looks like, but what about a you game? Strangely enough, I actually
found the answer to this before I even came up with the question, and, believe it or not, it
came to me courtesy of a game you may have heard me
talk about once before, and that game is “Driver: San Francisco.” See, for all the interesting missions in “Driver: San Francisco,”
and there are plenty of them, there’s one mission in particular that I swear to God I
think about all the time. The mission in question
is called “The Target” and it’s the final mission
of chapter six of the game. In the game, you play as
a cop named John Tanner who, for reasons I won’t get into here, basically has a superpower that allows you to take over the bodies
of any other driver, and has begun using that superpower to foil a possible terror plot from a gangster named Jericho. Over the course of the game Tanner decides that the best way to
unravel Jericho’s plans is to do it from the inside, and in order to do that,
Tanner takes over the body of a low-level henchman named Ordell and uses his driving skills to help move Ordell up the ranks. The final mission in this story arch sees you inhabiting
Ordell’s body one last time to complete a major assignment
from his boss Leila, who is this international assassin and Jericho’s second in command. Tanner’s plan? Warp into Ordell’s body and,
without arousing suspicion, drive Leila and Ordell
directly into police custody. Now, the mission begins as normal with Tanner and his partner Jones driving their iconic
orange Dodge Challenger, and soon enough you
warp into Ordell’s body with Leila in the passenger seat where she gives you some
clarity on the mission. (car engine roaring) – [Leila] Ordell, I need
nothing but your best today. – [Ordell] What’s going down? – [Leila] Jericho’s got
a problem he wants fixed. Get me to the target and I’ll fix it. – [Narrator] So you
drive to the destination she’s given you, closing
in on your target, and as you get close, this happens. (car engine roaring) – Slow down. We should acquire the target any time now. (car engine roaring)
(tires screeching) The other Dodge, up ahead. Stay close but don’t be obvious. – That’s my car. – What? That’s the cop that’s
been getting in our way. – Do we follow him to the target? – He is the target. – [Narrator] It’s you. You’ve been assigned to kill you. (mysterious music) Now, after that cut scene ends, you are back in Ordell’s
body in the first person with Leila sitting to your right. But then, you press the
throttle to accelerate, and the car in front of you moves. You stir to the left and to the right, and the car in front of you moves to the left and then to the right. And then quickly it sinks in
that the car you’re controlling is actually the car you’re following. Your perspective as the
player is entirely separate from what you’re
controlling as the player. In other words, you’re pursuing you. Now, as you can see, the
car that you’re sitting in is moving too but, crucially, you’re not the one who’s
controlling that car. The car you’re sitting in
is moving automatically, seemingly operated by
an AI-controlled driver who’s tailing the car
you’re actually controlling. It’s basically like a chase
mission in any other video game just like you’ve seen
countless other times, except for this time
it’s flipped on its head. This time, you’re the one being followed while simultaneously seeing it all unfold from the perspective of the
car doing the following. And while it’s hard for me to guess how well this comes across on video, all these elements
combine to make something that is very, very odd to play. There’s something
shocking and disorienting about seeing a first-person
perspective on your screen but also not controlling that perspective while remotely operating
the car that you’re tailing. It’s the closest a video
game has ever gotten to feeling like a true
out-of-body experience, and it’s an experience
that has stuck with me ever since I first played
this game back in 2011. Now, when I first played
“Driver: San Francisco” eight years ago, I kinda just played
through this mission once, start to finish, marveling
at the unique perspective that this mission granted you, but then moving on to
the rest of the game. But I’ve always felt like if
I ever came back to this game, I’d wanna pick this mission apart and see what makes it tick, and that’s part of what
I hope to accomplish with this video. See, as cool as this mission
is, it’s also pretty linear. The whole thing takes
place with you driving down this completely locked-down racecourse with no exists or detours, pretty much just a
straight shot to the exit. I’ve always assumed that
the developer Reflections designed this mission this way due to the technological limitations of this weird second-person camera that they built just for this mission. Perhaps there was no way
for them to get this camera to behave properly in
the actual open world with all the various streets, elevations, and alleyways you could dip into, not to mention the other street traffic. And on top of that,
they built this mission with a pretty strict countdown timer, forcing you to hit the
checkpoints in rapid succession, something that I’ve always
assumed was placed there to keep you from ever
veering too far off the path and breaking the game somehow. Still, I’ve always wondered about the actual limitations of this mission and I knew that this time
around I wanted to test out whether or not there
was any way to escape, so before finishing the mission I paused, started it over, and then this time, instead of starting the race as intended, I swung the car into a 180, driving the car backwards
in the wrong direction. Now, when I do this, the AI driver immediately begins panicking, rapidly spinning the steering wheel trying to desperately to
keep my car visible in frame, and then eventually it
turns around 180 degrees to reveal what looks like
the entire open world of “Driver: San Francisco,” seemingly 100% accessible to the player. Now I drove away from the
racetrack and began exploring, and I kept bracing myself to
hit some kind of invisible wall or failure state for going off course, but it never happened,
it all actually worked. I merged into traffic and the second-person camera followed me, immaculately bopping and weaving through the other cars on the road. It was around this time that
I noticed there was no timer. It turns out that Reflections had generously designed this mission, intentionally or unintentionally, so that the mission countdown timer doesn’t actually begin until
you reach the first checkpoint, meaning that if you never
hit that first checkpoint, you can drive around forever. (car engine roaring) (car honks) This led to what I can only describe as a transcendent video game experience. It felt like I was seeing something that I was never meant to see. This ability to explore the
city as much as I wanted to all from this wholly unique, extremely surreal second-person viewpoint. It felt like a magical experience and one that almost nobody else has experienced for themselves. Now, revisiting this mission and managing to escape the confines laid down by the developers
all those years ago, I really wanted to try and
push this thing to its limits. I couldn’t resit trying
to break things a little. I drove the car off ramps, into
upcoming traffic, all of it. But surprisingly, it
held together perfectly. That is, until I tried one specific thing. See, I haven’t talked about it before, but this mission actually
does have a failure condition. In the lower-right corner of the screen there’s a health meter and it represents the
health of Tanner’s car, the car you’re chasing/driving. But if you get into
one-too-many collisions while driving this car
in the second person, you can actually run out of health, causing Tanner to die and
the mission to end in a loss. This is actually pretty hard to achieve on the default mission path they laid out, but driving in the
oncoming lanes of traffic and ramping up car transporters had taken its toll on my vehicle and I only had a small
sliver of health left. Wanting to explore this
mission as long as possible, I gingerly pulled Tanner’s
car into a narrow alleyway and then decided to try out the one thing I hadn’t attempted yet. I turned around and drove
the car in the second person directly at myself. (mysterious music) This put the AI driver
in a weird position. It now had to drive backwards
just to keep me in the frame, and it was also narrowly sandwiched between the two walls of the alley, giving it almost no room to maneuver. I kept driving towards myself, putting on the pressure
closer and closer, and then. (car engine roaring) (car screeching) (cars crashing) – [Leila] Nice work. – [Narrator] It broke. All at once, the second-person
vehicle shoots into a wall, clips through it, and then launches hundreds
of feet into the air. Briefly, one frame at a time, we can get glimpses of
the chaos that unfolded. We see the car inside the wall, then we see the car’s
front console flipped over. We see what appears to be the ocean floor and then the pavement
as seen from underneath. We see rooftops, the driver’s arm, the sky, trees, abstract geometry, and then the city from above, flooded with unloaded geometry. After that, we see the car
spinning and spinning in mid air, giving us glimpses of
San Francisco from above, before finally getting so high that nothing can be
seen but endless ocean. And then, black. (solemn music) Suddenly, all at once, the
car snaps back to earth. The health meter for Tanner’s
vehicle turns blindingly white and then the second-person viewpoint fills with an orange-yellow
hue: Tanner’s car. Quickly it becomes clear
that the second-person car has somehow spawned inside
of Tanner’s vehicle, dealing infinite damage to the car. (cars crashing) A deafening crash sound can be heard and shattered glass flies everywhere, and then, for a brief moment,
right before the mission ends, the camera inexplicably
shifts into Tanner’s car where the car is balanced on its nose, its windshield shattered, thrust impossibly through another vehicle. And then, horrifically, the camera clips through the back of
Tanner’s partner’s head and shows us the backside
of his eyeballs and tongue. A truly terrifying
second-person perspective if ever there was one. (solemn music) (upbeat music) Shaken by my other-worldly
encounter seemingly brought on by pushing this already
existential mission to its limits, I reset the mission and played it beginning
to end one last time, this time careful to do it the right way, not wanting to disturb
whatever (mumbles) being I’d upset by breaking the
mission in the first place. After all, I thought, I
know that every mission in “Driver: San Francisco” ends with a continue and retry option, so if I really wanted to
explore this mission again, I could always hit the retry
button to give it another shot after running through it normally. So I proceeded to complete
the mission as intended, a mission, by the way, that
ends with the antagonist Jericho actually taking over your body and attempting to drive you
into a lethal car accident. (car engine roaring)
– You mean, Jericho! – [Leila] Sit back and enjoy the show. Not many people get to
watch themselves die. – [Narrator] A problem that
Tanner decides to solve by, disturbingly enough, shifting for the first and only time in the game into his partner Jones’ body. Yes, that partner. – [Jones] What the hell is going on? – [Narrator] Anyways, I
go to finish the mission the normal way, staying on the path, fully expecting the restart option that appears after most
missions to show up. Instead, I get to the end of the mission and, for some reason that
I still can’t explain, the only option was continue. The reset option had vanished. Panicked, I quickly hit
ALT+F4 and existed the game, hoping I could load out my save file and play through the mission
again, but it was too late. It had already auto saved over my file and the mission was gone with
no way to replay it again. (funky music) Look, “Driver: San Francisco” is a game full of weird, interesting,
strikingly-designed missions. But, to me, the target
has always stood out as the perfect example of
what makes this game special. Video games are an entire medium built around taking others’ bodies, and “Driver: San Francisco”
is a richly existential and metatextual reflection of this idea. This mission in particular
brought these ideas to the fore in a way that I wasn’t fully prepared for and that I’m only now beginning
to wrap my head around, years and years later. Even writing the script for this video felt like a mind-bending exercise in trying to explain something that is borderline unexplainable. You really have to play it for yourself to get a full sense of how
crazy this mission feels. In designing this mission,
Reflections took decades of 3D video game conventions
and turned them on their head to create what feels a truly
out-of-body experience. That, to me, is an
accomplishment worth celebrating. Please play “Driver: San Francisco.” (car engine roaring) – [Leila] If you’re
here, who’s in your body? – [Ordell] Well, no one. Oh God. (door shuts) (keys jingling) (car revving) – All right, so a couple quick updates on the “Driver: San Francisco” situation. The petition to get
Ubisoft to re-list the game that I mentioned at the
end of my last video is now at over 70,000
signatures, which is insane. Please, if you have any
interest in this game, please sign this petition. It now feels like 100,000
is within our grasp, which is crazy, and I
can’t believe I’m saying, but it could happen, which to me feels like
an unignorable number. But, in the meantime, as
you might have noticed, Ubisoft has not re-listed the game, they have been ignoring the
70,000 signatures we have. And on a totally unrelated
note, not connected at all, “Driver: San Francisco”
since my video last month has been in the top 10
most downloaded games on The Pirate Bay. Totally no relationship there, not mentioning that for any reason at all. Just saying, the game is not available and it’s also one of the
most pirated video games, and has been in the top
10 most pirated games for the past month. Just a coincidence. Also, totally unrelated to the fact that this game is apparently
very popular on Pirate Bay, did you know that if you go
to NordVPN.org/babylonian you can go to websites,
illicit or non-illicit, without being tracked by
your ISP or anybody else? So that means that, for example, if you were to go to, and
I’m not saying you should, a website that allowed you
to download a video game that is no longer available
and can be easily pirated with just a few clicks and you don’t wanna get an
angry email from your ISP saying you can’t do that, you should invest in a VPN. (laughs) If you go to NordVPN.org/babylonian and use coupon code babylonian to get 70% off the three-year plan and get one full month
of VPN coverage free. But yeah, if you enjoyed this video, please share it with anyone
you think would like it, and/or subscribe to my channel if you’d like to see more
stuff like this in the future. I’ve got a lot of videos in various stages of production right now that I’m really excited
to get out into the world, and I can finally start
thinking about them now that this one’s done. So yeah, that’s it from me for this time. Hopefully the next video
comes out a little quicker. I’ve got a lot of ideas
that have nothing to do with “Driver: SF,” I just, this one has been on my mind for a while and I’m glad to finally have it done. So thank you for watching,
and I’ll see you next time. (gentle funky music)