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Game Theory: Portal’s Companion Cube has a Dark Secret


[GLaDOS]
Here’s a new cube for you to project your deranged loneliness onto. Everyone’s favorite rhombohedron has a scary little secret inside of it! And no, I’m not referring to this guy’s penis. ♪ [INTRO MUSIC] ♪ Hello, Internet! Welcome to Game Theory! Determined to be the first show EVER to talk about Portal – without ONCE mentioning cake. – Wait. I just blew it, didn’t I? Dammit! Let’s call a spade a spade, shall we? The companion cube is a box with HEARTS on it. And yet, despite being an INANIMATE OBJECT that appeared for a FRACTION of the first Portal game, the gaming community INSTANTLY fell in love. Myself included. Without speaking – without even MOVING, The weighted Companion Cube – which, by all definitions, should qualify as an ITEM, quickly rose through the ranks of gaming’s all-time most memorable CHARACTERS. Take that, Ristar! Screw you, Chuck Rock! You’re no match for my parallelapiped pal! We grew to love this rectangular prism SO MUCH, that we let it into our beds, let it chill our drinks, and let it all up in our feminine underparts! But perhaps we were TOO quick to let it plaster our privates. Maybe our passion for this hexahedral hombre was a LITTLE misplaced. We grew overly attached because we were alone and desperate for a friend in the testing chambers of Aperture Science. But in our haste, we didn’t bother to ask questions. We didn’t stop to notice the odd coincidences. What do we REALLY know about the nature of these cubes? What black secrets are hidden behind those pink hearts? Well, first, we need to know WHY we love the Companion Cube so much. Back in the 1950’s, when psychology was still interesting – because there were no limitations on human testing, Ah, those were the days. Donald Hebb placed volunteers into extreme isolation, leaving them in small, empty rooms with goggles and headphones to block out sensory input. The test was SUPPOSED to last 42 days. Test subjects barely made it FOUR, as they quickly descended into madness, unable to think clearly. So lost in deprivation, that they failed basic skills tests. They started to have vivid visual and auditory hallucinations, ranging from the room filling with dogs, to feeling their arm getting hit with pellets, fired from a miniature imaginary rocket ship. In short, the Aperture Science testing would truly push subjects to their psychological limits, as they wandered alone, in room after room, with NO END in sight. Humans TRULY are social creatures, and studies have shown that lonely people are MUCH MORE LIKELY than connected people to believe that inanimate objects have emotions and intentions. By the time Chell and the player reach Chamber 17, we’re SO READY for companionship, we’ll give it to ANYTHING, including a glorified storage crate. And if you think back to the Tom Hanks movie, Castaway, the same thing happened there. Wilson, the bloody-faced volleyball, was the FILM’S version of the Companion Cube. Giving Tom Hanks… …someone… …ANYONE to interact with while in isolation on the island. So basically, the Companion Cube is just a lovable, little pile of parts that happen to be in the right time and the right place! Then what reasons could we possibly have to distrust our cuddly little cube? Well, would you believe me if I said that the WEIGHT inside those “Weighted Companion Cubes” came from failed test subjects? The dead and dying predecessors of Chell? Let’s look at the evidence. What INITIALLY prompted this theory is the achievement you receive when you drop your companion cube into the incinerator during the first game. The name of this achievement is “Fratricide.” A term denoting the act of killing your brother. It seems like an odd choice of words- -until you consider that the THOUSANDS of test subjects captive at Aperture, the ones who USED TO LIVE in the large boxes visible at the start of the second game are just like your brethren, and may just have ended up downgraded to a smaller, more disposable box. Well, first, we KNOW it’s physically possible. Our Metroid Morph Ball episode showed that a human can fit into spaces much smaller than .1 cubic meters. And without even breaking into pixel measurements, it’s easy to tell that a Companion Cube is signifigantly larger than ANY version of the Morph Ball. So, physically cramming a human into a cube is absolutely possible, but is it ACTUALLY what’s happening? To find out, we need to examine the way GLaDOS speaks about the Companion Cubes. [GLaDOS]
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you, [GLaDOS]
and, in fact, cannot speak. [GLaDOS]
In the event that the Companion Cube DOES speak, [GLaDOS]
the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice- [GLaDOS]
-if it could talk. And the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot. [GLaDOS]
It would tell you to go on without it, because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you. Now, GLaDOS is not our friend, and is FAR from a reliable source of information in the first game. In fact, most of what she says is false, and meant to mislead Chell. Thus, her insistence that the cubes are:
A. Unable to talk
and
B. Should be ignored if they do, make it SEEM like the reverse is true, that they MAY be able to talk, and that their advice SHOULD be heeded. That’s CERTAINLY the experience former Aperture employee turned test subject, Doug Ratman, experienced. In the Portal comics, Ratman is shown to have conversations with the Companion Cube he carries strapped to his back, with the cube LITERALLY giving him helpful advice. In fact, the Cube’s advice is the one thing that KEEPS him alive. It even warns him against taking 2 pills labeled as “Ziaprazidone.” Supposedly, anti-psychotic medication, EXCEPT that the REAL medication would be named “Ziprazidone.” Without the a. Careless typo made by Valve? OR, perhaps, another Aperture test that the Cube was aware of? While under its effects, the cube no longer talks, and Ratman almost gets himself KILLED without its advice. Seems like GLaDOS would have a vested interest in keeping people IGNORING this useful source of information. And speaking of Ratman, throughout the games, you see many of his ranty scribblings on the walls. In his first chamber, you see Cubes over the faces of various pictures. What many have assumed is just schizophrenic hallucinations, or a fixation on the Cube, may be something completely different. Notice he HASN’T placed Cube images over just the faces of one gender, but both men AND women. The term “Objectum Sexual” is given to people who literally fall in love with inanimate objects, like this woman, who dumped her bow-and-arrow fiancee, Lance, to literally marry the Eiffel Tower. Or this woman, who married the Berlin Wall. Talk about your awkward wedding nights! Now if Ratman was indeed in love with the Cube, and suffering from “Objectum Sexual,” he would associate the Cube with one specific sex, not plastering its picture over multiple genders. Additionally, notice that the calendar is of “The Girls of Aperture Science,” meaning these pictures are of people who have worked at the company. Ratman’s friends. His coworkers. People he loved and cared about. If they were dead and shoved into Cubes, it would make SENSE that he would put Cube pictures over the top of them, and have hearts drawn around them. And let’s not overlook the message written here, either. “The Weighted Companion Cube DOES speak… I’m not hallucinating. You are.” And then, in Portal 2, GLaDOS adds, [GLaDOS]
I think that one was about to say “I love you.” [GLaDOS]
They are sentient, of course. [GLaDOS]
We just have a lot of them. Again, making allusion to the fact that the Companion Cube MAY be able to speak, but more importantly, describing the “sentience” of the Cubes. To be sentient means having the ability to feel and perceive. Sentient characters also display desire, will, and personality. So to say that the Cube is SENTIENT would differentiate it SIGNIFICANTLY from the likes of a Turret, for example, which may at first appear to have feelings and consciousness, but are, in fact, just PROGRAMMED to respond to various stimuli in very specific ways. A human inside a cube, meanwhile, would DEFINITELY qualify as a sentient creature. [GLaDOS]
Oh well. We have warehouses full of the things. [GLaDOS]
Absolutely worthless. [GLaDOS]
I’m happy to get rid of them. Throughout the entirety of both games, GLaDOS only uses words like “worthless” and “useless” to describe one thing: The value of human life. [GLaDOS]
Remember when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around and being useless? [GLaDOS]
That was a metaphor. [GLaDOS]
I was actually talking about you. So not only has she opened up the possibility that the cubes can talk repeatedly, she refers to them using the SAME language she implements when talking about other human test subjects. What she’s saying, and how she’s saying it, gives a STRONG indication that the cubes may be more than meets the eye! Then there’s the disintegration sound clip, when GLaDOS automatically dicides that she wants to bump one of these cubes off. Listen to it a few times.
[or not I guess, that’s cool too.] [metallic clang]
[faint noise that sounds like “help me”] Can you hear, buried amongst the metallic clang, a cry for help?
[Just roll with this for a few more seconds] [metallic clang]
[faint noise that sounds like “help me”] A last plea, from someone who has just been euthanized by an AI with no regard for the waste of human life? And finally, perhaps the most bizarre and unexplained coincidence of all. Unlike EVERY OTHER ITEM in the game, A Companion Cube is NEVER faced with the threat of a Material Emancipation Grill. The Material Emancipation Grill
-or grid, depending on who you ask- is a particle barrier set up to disintegrate any unapproved contraband leaving the testing chamber. Weighted Storage Cubes! Edge-less Safety Cubes! Discouragement Redirection Cubes, and things that don’t have cube in their name! Basically, any non-organic materials that are meant for THAT room, and that room ONLY. Why does this matter? Well, we’ve already discussed the Companion Cube’s demise in the first Portal. That unforgettable incinerator scene, where our cube friend is in the fiery furnace before we can even get CLOSE to the particle grid. Then, in Portal 2, the ONE and ONLY chamber in the ENTIRE game with a broken particle field, just so happens to be the SAME one as the one and only chamber where you can interact with a Companion Cube? Coincidence? I think NOT! And why does it matter? Remember that organic test subjects are clear to pass through these barriers, while cubes are NOT. So if these boxes did indeed contain the remains of humans lost under the guise of scientific progress, should a Companion Cube pass through, the exterior box would disappear, leaving only the curled-up human inside. In other words, THE COMPANION CUBE IS PEOPLE! So, the next time an evil, dishonest AI presents you with a cute box and tells you to become friends with it, think twice. Science has no mercy. But hey! That’s just a theory! A Game Theory! Thanks for Watching! Not pooped on Portal? Did you know this is actually part of a Portal series I did on “Did You Know Gaming?” Hop through this portal here to check out some more awesome facts about these amazing games. – Y’see what we did there? It’s cute and thematic. – But before you do, make sure you take a second to subscribe to this channel, where we do WAY too much research to explain the mysteries from all your favorite games. If you like Did You Know Gaming, you’re sure to LOVE the over-researched theories we have over here! Oh, and for you loyal theorists, curious about the results from the TF2 episode, #TeamTitty ABSOLUTELY took the cake. Oh, dammit! I said “cake” again!

Game Theory: Surviving the Assassin’s Creed Leap of Faith


Jumps from a building. Lands in a haystack.
Gets up fine. Does it all again. Ezio’s free…Free fallin’. But can he survive?
Hello Internet. Welcome to Game Theory. Tom Petty I ain’t. A few months ago, I did an episode
on Assassin’s Creed, looking at whether memories can be passed through genes. It was a good
one. It even taught me a couple of things, like the fact that one gigabyte doesn’t actually equal 1000 megabytes.
Who knew that THAT would be something I would have to look up?! Well a lot of you did, actually. But
since then, a bunch of loyal theorists have been asking in the comments for a Leap of
Faith episode, so here we are. Topic of the day: Could the Ass Creed clan actually survive
their famous leaps of faith? No. But hey, that’s just a theory. A Game Theory. Thanks
for watching! Seriously, though, your odds of walking casually
away from an Assassin’s Creed fall are slim. Far from impossible, but slimmer than a…a…SlimKirby?
I don’t know. I can’t always think of clever similes, okay? Medical journals generally
say that a fall from any height greater than 100 feet or 30.5 meters is in the red zone,
unsurvivable, and in Assassin’s Creed, some of your biggest jumps triple that number.
But let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start, by taking it TO THE EXTREME: Falling out of a plane, six miles, 31,000
feet, or 9,656 meters up in the air. According to the free fall database, since the 1940s,
an astonishing 44 people have survived falls from planes at these tremendous altitudes.
You heard right: 44 people survived falling out of a plane! Of those, 31 were classified as wreckage riders, people who fell that distance attached to
or surrounded by a piece of the plane. The other 13 were pure free fallers–nothing
to protect them. The thing is, although it’s impressive that these people survived falls
from tens of thousands of feet, any fall over 1500 feet or 457 meters is going to be
about the same because that’s the point you generally reach terminal velocity. To explain,
gravity is accelerating you towards the earth, right? But as you keep falling faster and
faster, the air rushing past you pushes you back more and more, creating drag. Terminal
velocity is the point where the two forces equal and you no longer accelerate downward.
After falling 1500 feet, this speed maxes out at around 120 miles per hour or 54 m/s. So, if you’re going to fall, why not add 10,000 extra feet. Might as well enjoy the view on your way down… Now, using information from past fallers, we
can critique the Assassin’s technique: And quite honestly, they’re doing a lot right.
They spread their bodies like a skydiver in the air which increases their overall drag
and slows their descent. When they land, they they aim for a cushy substance. Ultimately, you
want to land on something with give, with flex. A wooden cart filled with hay is far
better than earth, concrete, and water. You heard right, water. Surprisingly, the surface tension between
water molecules makes the impact just as hard and inflexible as concrete. Except when you
hit concrete, your newly-crippled body ISN’T forced to swim to safety. The one area for improvement
is that they’re landing flat on their back. In the good ol’ days of 1940, this position was thought
to be the best way to handle a fall, spread out the force of the impact across a larger
surface area rather than placing lots of force in one part of the body. However, more recent studies
say falling like a skydiver’s landing position, with legs and hips flexed, is the optimal
way to handle a fall like this. In short, the odds of survival are low, BUT the Assassins are
doing everything they can to put the odds in their favor.
All right Felix Baumgartner, knowing that, you still want to recreate Assassin’s Creed?
Fine. Let’s take the “High Dive” achievement from Ass Cred 2. To earn it, you must leap
from Florence’s Campanile di Giotto…man this channel is so bad at foreign names. Campanile di Giotto! Look ‘a me, it’s ‘a Mario. It’sa me Mario! Or as the Americans pronounce it, Camp-an-isle D-G-Otto, a 84.7 meter or 278 foot tower built around 1340.
At this height, it’s well above the 100 foot Red Dead Redemption zone. By my calculations, the fall takes
around 3.7 seconds to complete, and with the acceleration due to gravity being 9.8 meters
per second per second, we can just plug these numbers into this equation to make sure everything
checks out. Distance=½ acceleration due to gravity times time of the fall squared.
Aaaand we get…something, that’s not right. The equation should balance. Of course, we’re
not factoring in wind resistance, but that would make Ezio fall even slower, thus making
this side of the equation even less! But we KNOW that both the time of the fall and height
of the building must be correct. The building is clearly identified in the game and the
time we just measured which means…gravity in the Assassin’s Creed world is wrong!
So, recalculating to solve for gravity gives us 12.4 m/s2. That’s over 125% of Earth’s
gravity! So, say you’re 200 pounds. Conglaturations, you just put on an extra 50 without even getting
to enjoy that extra Cheese Doodle. In fact, 12.4 m/s2 is greater than the gravity for
every other planet in our solar system…except for Jupiter! For Jupiter levels of gravity,
we need to rewind to the first Assassin’s Creed and the Umayyad Mosque in Damascus,
one of the game’s signature locations. Here, we’re jumping off its tallest minaret. The
game mislabels it as the Minaret of the Bride, when in actuality it’s the Minaret of Jesus,
probably in an attempt to avoid religious names—but no need to worry about being PC
here. Not that type of PC. There ya go! The minaret stands at 77 meters tall and you hit
the hay in 2.8 seconds which means that gravity here is nearly 20 meters per square second! That’s
easily over 2 Gs and approaching Jupiter levels of gravity! To put that in perspective, if you weighed 200 pounds in the real world,
in the Assassin’s Creed 1 universe, you’d be hefting around a good 400! And remember,
this is assuming ye olde Italy exists in ye olde vacuum! Factoring in drag would mean that
whatever planet Assassin’s Creed takes place on would have even more gravity! If Facebook
were to classify the relationship between Assassin’s Creed and this fundamental force, the status would be “It’s
complicated.” Man, that has got to be the cheesiest joke I’ve used in a long time. What’s this do to our chances of survival? Well, if you weren’t facing certain death before,
you certainly are now because higher G forces means more acceleration in a shorter time
span. To calculate the velocity the instant before we hit the ground, we simply take the
acceleration due to gravity and multiply by the time we’ve been falling. Under normal
G forces, you’d be hitting the hay at 36 m/s or a leisurely 80 miles an hour. With the game’s skewed
gravity, however, you’d be hitting the ground at nearly 46 meters per second or 103 miles per hour!
Jumping in Damascus would be even worse for your health as the higher gravity results
in a 56 meter per second, 125 mile per hour faceplant! That’s terminal velocity right
there—the same as if you were dropping from over 1500 feet! And you only had to fall one-sixth of the distance. Of course drag would slow
you down, but as I said earlier, it would also mean these gravity numbers would be even
higher, so all in all, not a bad estimate. But all of this is assuming we even have buildings
to jump off of! Remember, we’re talking about a double gravity world here! What else would
life be like? Would life even be able to exist? This is a scenario known as hypergravity,
and if Assassin’s Creed truly depicted the real world with twice the normal g forces,
none of these buildings would actually be standing. Structurally, they couldn’t handle the heightened
pressure and would collapse under their own weight. And humans? We would survive, but
it would take quite a bit of adaptation. Humans exposed to hypergravity for extended periods
show increased bone mass as the skeleton adapts to support the spike in weight. And with twice
the gravity, EVERYTHING gets twice as heavy, which means heavier blood. Who thinks of their
blood having weight, right? The heart certainly does as heavier blood means more work, making
it especially difficult to pump upwards to the brain. In fact, some theorists propose
that the dinosaurs went extinct when the Earth’s gravity increased, making life unsustainable
for supersized animals. The irony here is that, of all the people, the Assassin’s would
be most affected. You see, the exertion of climbing tall buildings coupled with the high altitudes of
their viewpoints would result in them being much more prone to light-headedness as their
hearts struggled to get blood to the brain. Chances are, if tall builds were still standing, they would pass out long before
reaching the top of any structure, ultimately plummeting to their doom. Leap of faith? Ha! They wish they had the chance. More
like tumble of…fatigue. I…I don’t know. I can’t come up with any good punchlines this week. Not that my punchlines are ever any good. So, in the end, what have we learned today?
Don’t jump off of buildings. You will die. But hey, that’s just a theory. A Game
Theory. Thanks for watching! Welcome back to the Super Amazing End Card
Tournament, where last week the Crono crazy crowd crushed the Final Fantasy fans. In honor of Assassin’s Creed, a very international game, today we’re having a battle of the countries. A lot of people from all over the world watch this show. I see all the statistics in my analytics. I want you to go into the comments and type something, anything in your native language. The country that comes the closest to getting one comment for every one view on this video from your country gets international bragging rights FOR LIFE…or until I decide to do this again. You’re all loyal theorists, but what country has the most loyal of loyal theorists? Let’s find out. While you’re thinking about what to write in the comments, I’m just going to stay here and encourage you to subscribe…soooo you should do that. Subscribe. There’s a lot of good stuff comin’ up. Like really, I’m excited for the next couple months. And hey, click right here to start listening to my other Assassin’s Creed video. It’s one of those under-appreciated gems on this channel. Anyway, if you commented, subscribed, and watched the other Assassin’s Creed video, you are now permitted to leave. Okay? Thanks! I love you bye!

Why Skyrim is epic

September 12, 2019 | Articles, Blog | 100 Comments

Why Skyrim is epic


If asked which is your favourite Elder Scrolls
game, Skyrim is the easy answer. It’s polished, looks better and is more finely balanced than
the earlier games. It has a large and current fanbase, whereas those who prefer Morrowind
or Oblivion tend to look like bitter, nostalgic losers who hate it just because it changes
things. But it IS my favourite, and I don’t want to
discuss its obvious strengths. Those are trumpeted enough already. I want to say why it’s special
to ME, and even after hundreds of hours in the earlier games, this one still stands out
as being the best. Before its release, I didn’t care much for
Skyrim. I excitedly watched the first trailer minutes after its release, only to leave it
somewhat disappointed. Okay, it looked better and had an interesting setting. But it was
still limited to current-gen technology and would no doubt be hindered by it. We wouldn’t
have hundreds of characters onscreen at once. The polycount and texture detail would suffer.
And let’s face it- the Elder Scrolls games have never been about good gameplay.
Honestly, they haven’t. If I wanted good swordfights, I’d choose Dark Messiah. If I wanted graphics,
Crysis. For magic, Magicka. If I wanted an RPG… um, actually I’d probably still go
for Final Fantasy 9. However, The Elder Scrolls has been about
the bigger picture. About the freedom. What amazes me is how no other game offers the
sheer sandbox scale that the Elder Scrolls can. I’d happily overlook its many imperfections
just because it’s more ambitious than any other game out there. It’s effectively a continent
on a disk. I was astounded when Oblivion came on a single DVD, and even more so with Skyrim.
A single disk, limited by current-gen technology. Even when I finally got around to playing
the game it wasn’t love at first sight. I was disappointed by how dull and scripted
the intro was. Bethesda have always managed to disappoint me with their intros. Minutes
later I questioned why I’d bother exploring a world that looked to me as a God… but
slowly, it grew on me. I watched the villagers amble about, carrying
out every-day activities. I harvested some bushes, spoke to some guards and the opportunities
for mischief began to formulate in my mind. And that’s when I saw it- the mountain. I
wanted to climb it, and just like in real life, the closer I got to it, the larger and
more impressive it became. As I rushed past mountain goats and towards the snowy upper
regions I questioned how the game could even simulate it so well… and then I got smashed
in by a troll. I wasn’t a God and this one annoying creature
was restricting a part of the world from me. I’d show him! I rushed into a near-by cave,
only to get destroyed by a vampire. All of a sudden, the world was growing around me.
I knew my place and I knew my foes. I understood that one day, things would be different and
hoped that the whole world would be full of as many little touches as my first hour had
been. It was. I recall several hours later in the main city,
looking at the quests I had to do. They were piling up in my inventory faster than I could
complete them. For every one I finished, several more would take their place. I was overwhelmed
and almost wanted it to stop! This continued, not just for the next few
hours, but for days and days. I remember I went to have tea half-way through Sheogorath’s
quest, my head buzzing from the opportunities and experiences I had encountered so far.
The game left its mark on me- the last 2 months of 2011 for me will forever conjure up images
of the Northern lights, the sad Nordic chanting and the beauty of Skyrim. I remember admiring
my magic professor as we embarked on a terrifying quest into a tomb, aware that something bad
could happen at any second. Despite completing hundreds of quests, I continued
to respect each one and they never ceased to amaze me with their twists and turns. Tens
of hours after Oblivion was becoming repetitive, Skyrim’s world kept giving. The levelling
scaled just enough to keep me on my toes, but would let me see my progress by challenging
me to fiercer looking creatures. It was kind enough to chuck in the occasional, unfortunate
low-level bandit to show me how much of a bad-ass my character had become.
Earlier games had relied on their scale to compensate for sub-par gameplay, but Skyrim’s
could stand on its own two feet. I’ve heard people moan about how it removes elements.
Really? Did you ENJOY jumping around the world to level up your acrobatics, or continually
heal yourself to become a wizard? Skyrim’s world is harder to exploit and I didn’t find
myself developing irritating tics to take advantage of them. I played as I was meant
to! Skyrim is a diverse and beautiful place. You
have forests, open plains, bubbling springs, marshes, mountains, SNOW and grassy valleys.
Each area is memorable and unique and has helped me chart up a mental map of the world
that I could never do in Oblivion and Morrowind. Although the earlier games had variety, it
either looked artificial or was too subtle to make any difference.
And how about the tombs. These were the places I’d avoid in Morrowind and Oblivion. I’d dread
entering them and would long to leave once inside. Skyrim’s are vast and varied and are
ingeniously designed. If you’re in a massive tomb and get to the end, there’s almost always
a quick way out to avoid back-tracking. The architecture, creatures and stories that exist
in these dark places help to add another side to Skyrim. They don’t feel tacked on, but
rather serve as another side to the game that’s just as well thought out and constructed as
the world above it. The main storyline is a massive improvement
over previous games. In my opinion it’s still the weak-point of the game and after a while
the dragons become a flying joke, but honestly I don’t care. I enjoy staging battles between
villagers and a dragon, or guards and a giant. Whilst in previous games, the creatures seemed
limited to a certain size, Skyrim isn’t afraid of adding a sense of scale and progression
to your abilities. It’s a small touch with big consequences.
I pity anybody who hasn’t tried this game. It’s a game that has something for everyone,
and even if you only like 5% of what it has to offer it’s still greater than most entire
other games. I’ve been quick to point out flaws to the previous games, but Skyrim isn’t
so easy to criticise. I feel I’ve done everything there is to the game, and yet one quick conversation
with my sister later reveals things that I’ve missed, or different paths I could have taken.
I still play as my original character, the fearless and mentally challenged Odgrub the
Basher. With him I conquered this harsh land. I remember gradually maxing out his abilities.
I treated the last unexplored regions of the world with the same respect as a child with
their last unopened present on Christmas day, knowing that it would be a long time before
such treats would come around again. The game to him is no longer a challenge, but a playground
to muck about on. I scale mountains for the fun of it and fill houses with cheese rolls
because I can. Some of the quests remain unfinished because I attempted them before the patches
rolled out and these tease me to this day, begging me to start the game again from scratch
to experience them the way they were meant to be played.
But I’ve grown too fond of Odgrub, and it’s not an experience I’m going to throw aside
easily. No doubt he’ll be the one who will boldly venture first into the Elder Scrolls
6 for me. Our friendship may last for the rest of my life and extend far beyond the
reaches of the world of Tamriel. Authors claim that the characters they create take on personalities
of their own and Odgrub to me is no exception. He isn’t just my eyes and ears in these games,
it’s as though his personality takes over and I begin to play as him. I know it sounds
incredibly sad but… I don’t care. My experiences with him have been more exciting and memorable
than any in the multiplayer games that I’ve played.
I could happily jump in to this game again, were it not for the fear that it will swallow
up entire weeks of my life. When Deus Ex: Human Revolution came out earlier that year
it was the best game I had ever played. I didn’t expect the experience to be trumped
so soon afterwards by Skyrim. I am almost frustrated by it, since Skyrim doesn’t need
any support and most definitely doesn’t need me making a video trumpeting how amazing it
is. I don’t need to convince any of you to play this game since you have most likely
already experienced it. Although the tangible parts of this game are
great, the true importance of Skyrim are the personal experiences that you alone have encountered
thanks to its sandbox nature. I believe that when you search for videos such as the one
you’re currently watching, you don’t want to hear about what’s so good about the game.
You want to hear WHY it’s a good game and how it is worth more to you than the sum of
its parts may suggest and I’m afraid that you’ll likely be left disappointed.
Nostalgia is a bitter-sweet and poetic fact of life and what’s truly important about this
game to you may not be the same as for me. Words can’t describe the importance of discovering
a certain quest, or of losing your dearest Lydia in an accidental sword-blow. I too share
your frustration at being able to recall the best bits of this game, but being so unable
to convey them into words for others to appreciate. It’s one of the most lonely parts of life.
But I urge you to keep the screenshots, save games and favourite music tracks from it safe
in a folder somewhere, because in 10 years’ time when new games have rendered this one
obsolete in all areas, you can go through those memories again and remember just how
special Skyrim was to you. You’ll argue with fans of the newer games,
sharing your reasons for why Skyrim was better. They won’t understand. And how can they? Their
memories will be with newer games that have built on Skyrim’s strengths further. They
won’t appreciate how without the earlier games, the ones that they’re playing now wouldn’t
be possible. You too can then become a bitter, nostalgic
loser who hates newer games just because they change things.

Windows Phone 8 Best and New Games (January 2014)


dans Whats good everybody it’s R.I.P
and this is Windows Phone 8 games for January I know ya’ll like this dude taking forever to put these out but I said I wasn’t gonna put this out until a certain game came out an it finally did
yesterday so anyway let’s get to it, this Trial Xtreme 3 and what I show you at the beginning is that
you can customize your helmet, your glove your bike, your pants, your shirt… everything. Now on this game you get 112 completely original courses. Play against your friends all types of stuff. You can play alone, whatever you want I already told you about customizing your bike you know you can play with the phone’s
accelerometer or you can choose buttons. This particular board is
actually the first board. and trying to record this was crazy. I had
all problems. But check it out, it’s free that is Trial Xtreme 3. This next game right here is Space Heads and…. Space Heads is inspired by Manga’s Spaceship Runner so if you read the Manga are anything like that, you probably already know about it this is a infinite runner, that is… flying… and that’s different sooo yeah this is Space Heads. You can choose between four original Space Head characters and there spaceships The missions are going to be challenging, you can collect and buy gems like usual evade a variety of dangerous obstacles through out your flight. The more time you race the faster it will go. Just like anything else (other infinite runners) you get unlockable characters which I will show you at the end An right here. And the graphic are inspired by Japanese Anime and this game is free also. This game right here! People have been waiting on for a minute. It’s Final Fantasy 3 and I really don’t have too much to
say about Final Fantasy 3 Unless you were born in the….hmmm…. just now you don’t know about Final Fantasy But watch the video… check it out it originally came out in the nineties and was the first one that sold over a
million and then they remade it in 2006 and sold over a million again! so now we finally get it on the phone….
on the Windows Phone and ya’ll know everybody’s excited about that
especially people like this is genre of game the controls on here are smooth smooth game. I think it’s very simple (easy to play) and if you love games like this you’re gonna love this one. Final Fantasy are the
ones who started it (this genre of games) so…I don’t see why you wouldn’t love it. yea check out the rest of the video on this
one. I’m just showing you little things (in the equipment) switching the knife, upgrading my shield, Either hand is okay to change weapons. Stuff to build up your armor….and yea this Final Fantasy 3 but it cost
15.99 so you might wanna try before you buy it. Alright so this next game is traffic Frenzy and traffic frenzy might seem very simple But you know red light, green light when you where a kid and other kids where playing with you and how they couldn’t stop and you said Red Light and they kept going… yea, this game is one of those situations except you might die a lot on here especially if you were one of those kids but you want to get the three stars and
get the traffic through You have a nice amount of power-ups to get you threw the traffic. it’s 25 unique levels…. simple
tap based game but the power-ups are nice. They let you speed up, slow down for an evenflo by the traffic. That’s Traffic Frenzy so this game is Cole Space and as you
can see right there it says free one of my favorite games. I always have at least two that I play a lot…this is one of them. I actually have three games this time. Cold Space you get different enemies constantly changing challenges in your league the graphics are pretty much state of the art you get furios boss battles, nice weapons, power ups and drones classic arcade action with impressive 3d visual…..and I went through this (level), it took a minute. So I was fast-forwarding so you can see the boss battle hopefully I made it to it on this video, I’m not sure…yea and I died. I was trying to show you guys my skills and I got killed..yea. This game right here is Romans From Mars and its free. Now…I a play this a nice amount. It’s real simple you get the bow n arrow. You get to do some nice
things Like killing them people from mars (didn’t know what to say right here lol) put the hurt on them and it’s like it never stops Of course as you advance in the game they come more and more and there are different kinds of enemies that are hard to kill. so you have to use your elemental powers But you battle endless waves of martians that’s determined to take over Earth Upgrade your crossbow
ballast to create the ultimate weapon of destruction. An kill them all unleash your Godly elemental powers of fire, ice, earth and lightning to kill them. I’m I’m showing you things you can upgrade. It’s a real good game check it out..Romans From Mars. This next game is different this one is called Skyfehl and I know
it’s not spelled F-a-l-l But yea so you see meteors falling out the sky and look at my character. I’m a ninja turtle. You get different characters Hulk Hogan on here. The guy from ummm from Metal Gear Solid…Solid Snake yeah he’s on here. Different characters on here and you’re just going side to side making sure they don’t hit you on the top of your head or on your shadow man… I don’t know who this character is but they say certain things that helps you figure out who they are. Andre the Giant is also on here. Nice game an you see what the power ups does. get the power-up and you get extra points. This one is crazy because it makes it harder to see but all of them makes it harder to see. Skyfehl is free. But check it out it’s a good game. I enjoy it, I play it a lot. This game is one of the games that got on here at the last minute I
didn’t have enough games. This month was kind of dry as far as games But when this one came out. I was like okay I could throw this one on here. It’s called I Surrender and look at up in the left hand corner you can see my deaths I’m the type that doesn’t surrender so I will try this until the end so it’s 15 levels on here. they were challenging man. I think the first time I played I died a total of seven hundred times The second time I played I died a total of 400 times You see why it’s called I surrender, because if you keep dying on something it’ll make you want to stop I AINT THE ONE…lol. Check it out There aren’t any power-ups are anything. You have to jump over these blocks! This game is called “Into The Dead” and it’s .99 cents and this is one of the games that I play all the time all the time… The graphics on here are beautiful. The gameplay is intense You can unlock an arsenal of powerful weapons and perks that help you stay alive it’s missions an mini goals provide constant
challenges to overcome ongoing update to deliver new modes,
features and contents That’s what they say. The publishers
of the game say they are going to continue updating and I believe them. But look at the
graphics on here and I know this game was out on IOS and Android……But who cares It’s nice. And on this one do I have the dog yet? Yes I have the dog. But when you first start playing you don’t get the dog are any weapons. It just shows you how to maneuver around You see I’m in a forest. Then you go into the country into a farm running through crops that makes it real challenging and then.. the dead numbers become crazy… Don’t put any headphones on while playing this if you’re scary… the audio on here is great also People in my household will not play it with me. But here are the upgrades for the weapons. You can get all of the weapons. You know some people gonna cheat and buy all the coins and buy all the weapons and stuff get all of the dogs. I want to get all of the dogs but I’m not about to buy it. This game right here needs no introduction I’m not going to say anything for a second this is what I’ve been waiting on Ya’ll know what it is. This is Grand Theft…and this the game I’ve been waiting on all month you get to choose between between the analog, buttons, or flick and I’ll tell you which ones that I decided to go with. I’ve decided to go with the buttons or flick because the analog to me is to wonky man. If wonky a real word?!? But it’s crazy when you use the analog I’m all over the place even when, when
I’m not on a bike. I really don’t like the analog controller I wish they tighten that up a lil bit. I wish you can flick while you’re playing the game off the bike Grand Theft Get it! It’s $6.99. R.I.P Windows Phone 8 games for Janurary

Annoying Orange Let’s Play FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S


– Yo yo yo, it’s A to the O, back again with another let’s play. That’s right, we’re gonna play
some Five Nights at Freddy’s! Yeah, everybody’s been
telling me to play this game, Pear played it on his
channel as a challenge video, Little Apple played it on his channel, and everyone screamed and
shouted and got really scared, it was hilarious. Hey check it out, hey,
they brought my fans. (laughing) Get it, fans? Ah, it’s a joke guys,
why aren’t you laughing? Come on, it’s funny. Alright, so in this game, like I said everyone’s been telling
me to play this game, in this game you play a night watchman at like an entertainment,
a kid’s entertainment place where they got video games
and animatronic animals that entertain you. Well, apparently those animatronic animals walk around at night, then they try to stuff you into costumes
which then might murder you. (laughing) Oh man, I hope they don’t do that to me, I just ate, I feel stuffed. (laughing) Get it? Aww, man. So there’s nothing really
going on right now, you just gotta keep an eye on em, I’m checking out my cameras to
make sure they’re staying in the same place that they should
be, and not moving around, I guarantee you guys this
is going to be an easy game, and I am not gonna get scared, like Pear and Little
Apple did, I guarantee. So as I’m sitting here, I think I’m gonna use this
opportunity to practice, practice some halloween
puns and jokes, okay? I think it’s a perfect opportunity, you know we’re not doing anything else, we’re just sitting around. Let’s do the first one. Why don’t witches like
to ride their brooms when they’re angry? They’re afraid of flying off the handle! (laughing) Do you get it, get it, handle? You didn’t like that one huh, okay. What do skeletons say
before they begin dining? Bone appetit! (laughing) Oh man, oh I laughed so hard a little pulp squirted out there. (laughing) Aw man, ah, that’s my favorite one. What’s a haunted chicken? A poultrygeist! (laughing) Aw man, oh my sides hurt, oh my sides. Why did the monster eat a lightbulb? Because he wanted a light snack! (laughing) Get it, light snack? Man, I could really use a
light snack right now too, it’s so dark! (laughing) Alright, what do witches
use on their hair? Scare spray! (laughing) Hey, hey, why isn’t the camera working? Why isn’t it (screams) oh no! Hey, what is, woah, what
is he doing in there, that’s not where he’s supposed to be! Man I get all the chicks. (laughing) Okay, what do I do? Creepy chicken, creepy chicken go away! Camera disabled, okay, well
if he’s just gonna stand there then I guess we’re okay,
I’m gonna tell another joke. What do birds sing on Halloween? Twick or tweet! (laughing) Get it, twick or tweet? (laughing) Oh man, Halloween’s gonna
be so awesome this year. I’m gonna tell so many
jokes, ah it’s gonna be fun. Okay, let’s see, I’m gonna look over here, oh no, hey, ah, hey, where’d he go? I hear somebody fumbling around. What is going on? That’s noisy. Who’s there, hello? Um, okay, let’s go to this
camera, okay it’s five am, I’m almost to six, I
don’t see him anywhere! Ugh, I don’t like it! Come on. Yeah! See, this game is so easy! Six am baby! I’ve already made it past the first night! Pair and Little Apple,
they get scared right away, they just couldn’t even
handle it, oh second night, this game is a piece of cake, aw yeah. Okay, here we are on the second
night, and I think you guys are ready for some more jokes, don’t you? Alright okay, where did the vampire open his savings account? At a blood bank! (laughing) Uh oh, hey, did he already move? There’s somebody already
out of their spot. Aah! That’s a shadow, I can definitely
see a shadow right there, that is the shadow monster. Ugh, I don’t like it, I don’t like it! He just wants all of
my spooky cookies, aah! Woah, no no no no, aah! They’re moving everywhere! What? What do I do? Oh, creepy peepers, get outta here! Creepy peepers. What did the mommy ghost
say to the baby ghost? Don’t spook until you’re spooken to! (laugh-groan) He’s still looking at me! Creepy peepers, get away! Oh what do I do, turn on
the light, okay, fine. Okay okay I’m not scared, I’m not scared. I’m telling jokes. Where does Dracula water ski? On Lake Eerie! (laughing) Get it, eerie, ’cause it’s
creepy nd weird and eerie? I’m closing the blast doors, I don’t care. I don’t want anybody touching me. No butt touching, no butt touching! That’s all they wanna do is touch butts! Get away from me, get away from me! Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea! (laughing) Okay it’s fine, it’s fine, open the door, we’re all good, okay
we can leave that one. (groaning) We’re fine, we’re fine,
it’s just a little dark, it’s just a little dark, it’s
fine, I can leave that, okay. (screaming) (babbling) Creepy peepers, ah, no, not another one! Not another one! Okay, I gotta conserve my power, I’m only to 17% but I can’t
open the blast doors, oh no! Okay, sit here with my
fans, I got my fans, oh no, oh we’re losing power! Captain, divert all
power back to the shales, we’re running out of power, oh no! Oh no no no no no no no,
we’re only at, oh no no no. (screaming) (whimpering) Are we there? Are we there? (screaming) (crying) I’m never playing any games again! I quit!